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My stomach is ready to disown me June 7, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in breakfast, critique, current events, eating, food, lunch, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, restaurant, travel, white castle.
15 comments

So I’m sitting here absolutely starving…but I’m waiting on a call from one of my clients so I’m in essence chained to my desk. Now I know what people on a hunger strike must feel like. This is worse than chinese water torture!

What makes it worse is everyone is going out to lunch or bringing their lunch back to the office. Just smelling the fried goodness of chinese food is making my mouth water. Plus it didn’t help that all I had for breakfast was some muscle milk shake thing that was supposedly a meal supplement.

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It tasted pretty good though – I got the chocolate shake. Although I don’t really notice a difference in muscle mass today…I guess you’re supposed to do something called “lifting” to notice a change in muscle mass. Not sure what that is. Why don’t these shakes just do the lifting for you? Or is that just what Human Growth Hormones are for?

Speaking of eating, this weekend is the Big Apple BBQ fest in Madison Square Park. I haven’t gone in the past but wanted to go this year. Although I may think twice about that since the crowds are absolutely ridiculous. You can expect to wait over an hour just to get a “plate” of food from one of the BBQ pitmasters that come in from around the country.

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Hate crowds and lines? The Big Apple BBQ is definitely not for you

I think it’s $8 per plate at each of the pitmaster stations…which is probably the equivalant of one rib and a “dollop” of pulled pork.I mean, that’s great and all, if you weighed about 80 pounds and got full from inhaling fresh air. If I’m waiting an hour for some BBQ, my plate better be overflowing with food. I want a full rack of ribs and a heaping order of sides. But that’s definitely not what you’re getting here. You’re getting a “sampling” of food. And for those who are food savvy like myself, sample = “small portions”.

Last year I believe they had 6 pits, and this year its up to 10 pits…so maybe the wait time will fall to under an hour. You actually are recommended to buy a “Fast Pass” for your food – so you can in essence cut line, similiar to what you can do at Disney. I think it’s $100 for the fast pass, which entitles you to $84 dollars worth of food and beverage, admission to one of the “BBQ seminars” and a free t-shirt. I’m sorry…when I think seminar, I think sitting/standing around someone talking for an hour with no handouts. As cool as the topic may be, aren’t you just wasting your $25??? Wouldn’t you rather just eat your $25 dollars worth? Especially since the lines are an hour plus per pit…

While this by and large is a great idea to have these pitmasters exhibit their wares in NYC..I think I’m definitely gonna pass again this year.

a) I hate waiting for food. Call me whatever you like…but I don’t wait over an hour for food. Just not my style to stand there on line like I’m taking handouts at a soup kitchen. There’s millions of places to eat in the city…if you have to wait an hour to get in somewhere, go somewhere else. Unless it’s a fancy place like Nobu where they make you wait as “part of the charm”. Otherwise I’d just as happily go to the restaurant down the block.

b) If I’m gonna spend $100 on BBQ, I’d just go to the BBQ restaurant itself and chow down. I know you can’t get the BBQ from all over the country that often and its great that these pitmasters fly in from all over the place to cook. But don’t you think its gonna be better at the actual restaurant itself? Shit, spend the few hundred on airfare and hotel and make a road trip out of it. Plus three of the pitmasters serving up food are from New York restaurants. Why not just save yourself the waiting and go up to Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem or Blue Smoke in Midtown? For $100, I guarantee you can eat like a champ at a BBQ restaurant! You’re certainly not gonna get just one rib and two ounces of pulled pork for your troubles. You’re gonna get 20 ribs and 10 pounds of plled pork.

c) The pits are only open from 12-6…meaning you have 6 hours to eat. If you average a wait time of an hour per pit…not counting waiting on line for beverages…you’re looking at only getting to maybe 5 out of the 10 pits, if you’re lucky. I know for some people, one or two pits are enough. But for us fat folk, if I’m devoting a day to BBQ, I want as many plates as I can get my hands on. Call me crazy, but that’s just my style.

d) You know how much further your $100 can go at other places? Just think about all the White Castle burgers, sides and chicken rings you can order with $100!

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This feast of a meal probably cost $25…at most

Anyway, sorry to get off on such a huge side rant about this event. Maybe I’m angry. Angry because my stomach has declared a revolt against me. I don’t blame it, poor thing…I’m basically giving it the Lindsay Lohan/Nicole Richie don’t eat anything all day treatment. I’d revolt too!

Post blog note…I ate lunch around 2pm EST…2 slices of pizza. The revolt is over. The stomach has declared a cease fire. The national guard can stand down. Let freedom reign!

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He’s the Man! June 4, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, celebrities, current events, eating, food, funny, new york city, photos, pictures, politics, sports, television, video, video games, white castle, world news, yankees.
18 comments

No…not talking about A-Rod who hit the game winning HR last night in the 9th inning to beat the Red Sox (long after I had turned the TV off in disgust).

Nor am I talking about Vladimir Putin, who is doing his best to touch off “Cold War II”. (and frankly we could use another cold war…I’m longing for the return of the USA vs Russia arcade game!)

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Perhaps a new cold war can spark the return of the USA vs Russia arcade hockey game!

No…I’m talking about the (cue Michael Buffer voice) New, International Hot Dog Eating Champion of the World….Joey “The Tsunami” Chestnut!

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Ladies & Gentlemen, your new hot dog eating champion!

Chestnut shattered Kobayashi’s record over the weekend by eating an amazing 59 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes in a “warm up” for the Nathan’s 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest! Read the news article here: http://origin.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_6048231

Chestnut, who is one of my favorite competitive eaters due to him being the Krystal eating Champion of the world (Krystal is similar to White Castle), bettered Kobayashi’s record by a whopping 6 hot dogs! Watching Chestnut compete against Kobayashi last year at Coney Island was special, because no one’s even come close to beating Kobayashi in recent memory. Chestnut lost to Kobayashi by a hot dog and a half last year so there was hope that he could dethrone Kobayashi this year at Coney Island. In fact the only “person” who has beaten Kobayashi in a hot dog eating contest was actually an animal, a brown bear to be exact, who destroyed Kobayashi on that TV show Man vs Animal on FOX a few years back (click the link to play video from that contest)

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The only competitor to beat Kobayashi in Hot Dog eating was a bear

But Chestnut is now the new “king of the hot dog” and watching him and Kobayashi go toe-to-toe (or mouth to mouth) on July 4th for the title should be awesome.

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This year you can guarantee Kobayashi will be signaling Chestnut is the man!

It’s all been done…. May 31, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, football, music, new york city, NFL, nostaglia, opinion, photos, pictures, random references, sports, white castle.
18 comments

Ooh ooh ooh…it’s all been done…ooh ooh…it’s all been done, before…

That Barenaked Ladies song popped into my head when I read an article this morning that Mark Cuban, the much ballyhooed owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, wants to launch his own professional football league.

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-newfootballleague&prov=ap&type=lgns

Cuban’s idea centers around taking lower round draft picks to populate the league, which will save on having to pay high salaries to players. I actually thought about that point after the recent draft. How many NFL players drafted below the 3rd round actually get a chance to play? I mean not to say you don’t have “gems” later in the draft (i.e. Tom Brady) or guys that weren’t drafted at all (i.e. Tony Romo), but by and large most guys drafted end up on practice squads or playing in Europe. So conceivably this idea of another league, which if they do it right should be positioned as a development league, could stick. Not to say it’ll be popular as NFL football on Sundays…but if minor league baseball works…then why not “minor league football?”. People love to tailgate. As long as they kept ticket prices down and did some zany local market promotions (like the minor league baseball team in Sauget with the deep fried White Castles at their concessions) they can get decent crowds at games.

I honestly think this could work though. I was an avid and rabid fan of the New Jersey Generals of the USFL in the early 80s. Mainly because it gave me a local team to root for since I was a Dallas Cowboys fan.

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Walker hitting the hole for the Generals

Plus Herschel Walker ended up getting a “promotion” to the “big league” a few years later landing a spot on the Cowboys. But it doesn’t just end with Herschel. Look at all of the great NFL talent that came directly from the USFL:

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Future Super Bowl Champion and MVP Doug Williams of the Redskins

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Future 4 time Super Bowl participant Jim Kelly of the Bills

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Future Super Bowl Champion and one of the greatest scrambling QBs in NFL history, Steve Young of the 49ers

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Reggie White would become arguably the greatest defensive end ever to play in the NFL for the Eagles

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Without the USFL, we may never had been introduced to Flutie Flakes and longtime fan favorite Doug Flutie of the Bills

Other players who made an impact in the NFL coming from the USFL include:

Mel Gray – RB/KR Lions
Mike Rozier – RB Oilers
Bobby Hebert – QB Saints
Albert Bentley – WR Colts
Anthony Carter – WR Vikings
Ricky Sanders – WR Redskins

So when done right, an alternate league can yield some great undiscovered talent. Even the short-lived XFL contributed to the NFL by giving them Rod Smart of He Hate Me fame. Plus the NFL also stole the XFL’s roving field cameras and started using them during games (despite the NFL saying these were once-in-a-lifetime revolutionary cameras which as anyone who watched the XFL know was complete bullshit).

So even though I hate Mark Cuban because he’s a meddling pompous asshole who complains and whines about everything (hmm…remind you of a Mr. Steinbrenner?), I wish him well with this new league. After all, I’d love to see the next Herschel Walker or Doug Flutie in action before they hit it big!

Nice time remind me to bring ear plugs April 30, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in baseball, celebrities, comedy, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, opinion, television, video, white castle, yankees.
22 comments

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was fun filled, despite the Yanks blowing chunks against the Sox.  Although I did go to Saturday’s game which was won by the Yanks, 3-1.  Bridget and I went to the game and I swear at least half the stadium was Red Sox fans.  There were red shirts everywhere.  Despite the game being entertaining (and the Yanks finally winning for once) our experience was sort of soured by the two young females sitting behind us. Young as in the under 10 year old young.  Young as in their voices still hit shrieking levels that are as ear-splitting to humans as dog whistles are to dogs.  For four hours we were subjected to “Let’s go Yankees, let’s go!” and “Derek Jeter” chants and screams.  Which became incessancy annoying and louder as the game wore on, especially since they got into a shouting match with the two young boys in front of us (Red Sox fans).  Their voices were so piercing that Bridget and I nearly swore off having girls should we ever decide to populate the world someday.

I mean the parent should’ve stepped in and told the girls to quiet a little.  There was no reason to scream “Let’s go Yankees” between innings.  I mean as if our holding our ears weren’t an indication of how loud they were screaming.  I mean it’s great to bring your kids to a game and all, but like a crying baby during a movie, sometimes as a parent in that situation you just need to shut your child up! Now I can see why people bring earphones to the game!  Could you imagine how loud their screams would’ve been had I been using the Listen Up! device

I think they should enact a rule similar to ejecting people for being drunk and belligerent.  If your child shrieks to the point where other peoples ears start to bleed, they and their parents should be ejected from the game. Or forced to watch the game in a rubber, sound proof room where they can yell and scream as loud as they want.  Maybe something to keep in mind for the new stadium?

Anyway, Saturday was a lonnggg day of drinking but kudos to the crew (you know who you are) for hanging in till 2am!  And happy bday once again to Bridget!  Our trip to White Castle at 3am definitely helped soak up the alcohol we consumed and we’re happy to report we have another Chicken Ring fan in the way of Bridget!  Congrats and welcome to the club! 

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The Chicken Ring Club has another member!

For those “not in the club”, I’m telling you, if you haven’t tried them…do it. The White Castle chicken rings are much better than those Chicken Fries things at the BK! Plus you get like 20 of them in a sack for only $6.  Can’t beat that!

One of the funnier repeated sayings of the weekend was from the new ESPN commercial featuring Jorge Posada and David Ortiz.  If you haven’t seen it, it’s hysterical.  The premise is Ortiz is caught by the Red Sox mascot, Wally, wearing a Yankees hat.

The video appears on the Blogger version of this site or you can watch it here.

I love the line by Ortiz: “No Wally, No. It’s not what you think.”  Good stuff.  Pretty funny, especially if you’re in tune with the whole Red Sox vs Yankees rivalry. If not, then you probably won’t be as amused by it.

Anyway, it’s back to work to tend to more SPAM business.  That and I need to work on a Gore-Tex proposal. Although every time I think of Gore-Tex I think of that Seinfeld episode where George is wearing the Gore-Tex jacket and knocks over everything in the wine store.  In my opinion it’s one of the best episodes of Seinfeld ever.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dinner_Party_(Seinfeld_episode)

Although it’s more famously known for being the episode about two other things:  the debate on chocolate vs cinnamon babka and the infamous “Look to the Cookie” line where Jerry relates racial equality to a black and white cookie.

The video is available on the Blogger version of this site or you can watch it here

Although looking back at the clip maybe Michael Richards (Kramer) should have said that line instead of Jerry?  That could have saved him some trouble recently.  Hey-oh. 

Now That’s a Turkey! April 27, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, baseball, eating, food, funny, humor, hunting, movies, new york city, opinion, photos, pictures, sports, television, travel, video, white castle.
25 comments

So, last weekend one of my co-workers, Mara, went on her first hunt. She got invited to participate in a turkey hunt with a team of world renowned hunters known as the Drury’s. The Drury’s are best known for their hunting videos and programming, called Drury Outdoors.

Anyway, Mara had never hunted before in her life, and the fact that she got to experience her first hunt with a distinguished group of experts was a great learning experience. We were in the same hunter safety course together a few months ago and see was the first out of our group to have the opportunity to hunt (I’ve only gotten to shoot clay targets – unless you count playing Big Buck Hunter at the bar!).

There was tons of pressure on her, since undoubtedly she was nervous being that this was her first hunt. Also having to hunt with a team of expert hunters adds to that pressure since you basically don’t want to look like a fool. If that wasn’t enough to make your hands tremble, her hunt was also being filmed for television! Yikes. Nothing like getting thrown to the wolves (no pun intended).

For those who have never hunted turkey before it’s pretty intense. You have to be fully decked out in camouflage from head to toe since turkeys tend to notice florescent colors (normally you would wear hunter orange for safety, but for turkey hunting orange is a bad thing). You have to be incredibly quiet and still and shoot quickly. Since the target of a turkey is much smaller than say a Whitetail, you have to be accurate with your shot as well, lest you want turkey feathers flying around everywhere.

Anyway, I’m happy to report that Mara’s hunt was an incredible success! Not only that, but she took down a 29 pound turkey! That’s right. 29 pounds! Unreal! Most of the hunting experts, and some on staff here, have never taken any turkey over 25 pounds and most people don’t even get to see birds that size!

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Mara’s turkey was bigger than her!

View more pictures of the bird and learn more about her hunt here

Could you imagine how many people you could feed with a 29 pound turkey! That puts any Butterball turkey to shame, that’s for damn sure! How would you even fit that in an oven? You’d need an oven at least four times the size of an Easy Bake Oven to fit that turkey in it (a little Zoolander reference for you). Hopefully she’ll bring some leftovers in the office. I could use a few “Trips to Phan” right about now!

I know most of you out there are probably anti-hunting, especially those who were born and raised in the city, but for those that are “more forgiving” about hunting, you’ll probably appreciate a story like that.

On the lighter side of “news”, today is Friday (yippee!) and thus it’s What Pushes My Buttons video day! Woohoo.

Today’s video comes courtesy of Avi, who forwarded me this rap video parody of George Bush taking shots at Kanye West. Pretty humorous. I particularly love the part where Bush is wearing the bandana. Also there’s a funny part with Cheney and a shotgun (which ties in nicely to the turkey hunt story!). You can watch the video on the Blogger version of this site

Besides that I’m off to stadium on saturday to watch the Yankees undoubtedly drop their 7th game in a row courtesy of the Red Sox. And having the guys come down from Boston this weekend to rub it in should make the loss feel even better. All I can hope for is another trip to White Castle for a Crave Case to make me feel better! Maybe I can improve on my 9 burger showing from last time. Although this time around, its all about the chicken rings baby! uh huh.

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Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Heaven = Sauget, Illinois March 23, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, photos, pictures, rachel ray, sports, video, weird, white castle.
11 comments

Ok, so why wasn’t I informed of this sooner??  Friends? You out there? No one heard about this?  Apparently there’s a minor league team in Illinois (Independent League) that has a themed food item every year they sell in their concession stands.  Last year the team had a burger called “Baseball’s Best Burger” which was a burger topped w/ cheddar and bacon. Before you think that’s ordinary, the bun was no ordinary bun.  It was a…….drumroll please…..a sliced Krispy Kreme donut!  Awesome! That’s what I’m talking bout! Close those arteries!

Use this link to view the story about the Krispy Kreme burger

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In past years this minor league outfit has used unusual food items to draw crowds to their games.  In the past few years they have had themed hotdogs. In 05 they had a concoction called a “Swiss Brat”, which was a Brat w/ melted swiss cheese and sauerkraut.  In 2004, they launched their themed food tradition with “Baseball’s Best Hotdog”, a black angus hot dog with bacon, onions and cheese sauce.  As Rachel Gay would say, “Yum-O!”

So for this year the team decided to go after my own heart.  They are using a term dubbed “Baseball’s Best Sliders”.  But they are not just using any old ground beef or a frozen “Topps” patty.  Nope.  They are using a WHITE CASTLE burger!!! (those who read this blog know that’s my favorite).  As if just serving the White Castle burger wasn’t enough, they are battering the burger and deep frying it!!!  (unfortunately they’re not wrapping it in a pepperoni pizza like Taco Town does). 

Could you imagine how good this must taste?  Well, the folks at CNBC had a platter of the fried White Castles in their studio for a taste test.  Darren Rovell, one of their reporters, put together the story on his blog, Sports Biz.  Click the image below to view the article and video of the segment they did on the air with a taste

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I may have to make a side trip to Sauget when I make a trip out to Sparta, IL either this summer or in August.  They only make them in small batches each game so I’ll make sure I’m first in line.  Although not sure if I’ll be able to polish off these bad boys like I do regular White Castle’s, especially since they’re estimating 600 calories and 40 grams of fat per serving (two burgers).  Could you imagine trying to polish off a Crave Case?  That shit would be insane.  If you got a Crave Case (30 pack) of these deep fried sliders, the caloric count would be 9,000 calories, 600 grams of fat!  Awesome!  At least if I drop dead on the spot due to my arties clogging, I’ll be dying in “heaven”.

Anyway, time to gear up for more NCAA basketball action this weekend.  If last night’s game were any indication, we’re in for some nail biters this weekend!

GO RED FOXES…BEAT TENNESSEE!

Avi, Chris, Shye & Tom Go To White Castle February 26, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, humor, white castle.
10 comments

Avi, Chris, Shye & Tom Go To White Castle

So in honor of Avi’s 82nd…i mean 32nd bday this past weekend, we had a little get together in the city. Avi’s brother Shye and “adopted brother” Tom made the trek down from Beantown for the occassion. We “pregamed” at my apartment with some drinks and some Nintendo (Super Tecmo Bowl, Ice Hockey, Double Dribble, etc). Avi and Lauren (Avi’s girlfriend) were playing some drinking game with dice that didn’t make any sense at all. I guess the point was to pick a number between 2 and 12 and if the roll of the dice wasn’t that number you had to drink that amount you said (obviously a very pro drinking game). At one point Lauren asked me to pick a number. I quickly blurted out 2. Quote Avi “that’s the stupidest number…” followed by Lauren saying “oh my god it’s a 2”. Ha. What are the odds that she would roll a snake-eyes?? (Actually the odds are 1 in 36 for all of those who are wondering. I’ll save you the trouble of counting or googling it). Anyway it was a pretty funny moment and something that will go down in the annuals of the all time greatest “calls”. I’m also going to play mega millions on Tuesday just in case it was a sign of luck!

After getting liquored up, we officially celebrated the festivities at BB&R on the UES (that’s Blonde, Brunette and Redhead on the Upper East Side for those not in the know). The night was fun…filled with triple shots of jagermister and an experiment with Brazilian rum and coke (which you should stay away from trust us…tasted like raw sugar from someone’s ass – not that i know what that tastes like).

Anyway, Shye had never been to White Castle before and even though he’s had opportunities to go, he was waiting to visit the Castle with the world’s foremost expert on White Castle (that would be me of course). So we decided to “break his cherry” in style with a few WC novices (Tom and Avi). Avi was present last time I was at the WC in which I ate about 10 burgers in about 20 seconds…before Avi even had his second.


With Harold and Kumar being locked away and no where to be found, it was up to the four of us to represent at White Castle

Being that we were all under the influence we decided that a case of 30 should be a good amount for us to split. Plus a sack of chicken rings (the best thing on the menu if you haven’t tried). Avi wanted to push to 40 burgers (10 a piece), actually he wanted the sack of 100 but that would’ve been asking for death on a platter. So we convinced him 30 was enough.

As we were waiting for our order these two other guys (white I may add) were in there. They were a perfect match for David Spade and Chris Farley…so much so that the Spade dude was saying “look at my friend…look how fat he is” with the Farley dude rubbing his stomach for emphasis. Very bizarre. But being that was 3am in the WC nothing surprises you. And with the four of us and the two of them that was 6 white people in white castle. Probably a new record in East Harlem. And further proving my point that the gentrification of Harlem is on – just take a look at the Apollo one night…50% white. (Side note, another funny story that you just had to be there for was a night Avi and I hit the castle at 4am after a night of drinking. In walks this girl who was definitely a 10…one of the hottest girls we’ve seen and definitely one of the hottest girls to ever step foot in a White Castle. Especially in East Harlem. In fact, the funny part was the young (and large) black male working behind the counter was staring at her so hard, his headset fell off his face onto the ground and he barely even moved. That was comedy.)

Anyway, the girl behind the counter announces our order is ready. I look for a bag and don’t see anything. Suddenly she slaps a suitcase on the counter. A suitcase. Awesome. I mean imagine going to a business meeting and plopping that down on the counter. Or an drug transaction where the case was filled with burgers instead of cash.


Shye and the Crave Case


The unveiling of the holy grail

We proceeded to plow through them…or at least I did, having 6 before anyone could even remove the first one from their sleeve. I slowed down to make sure I shared the wealth (and that I didn’t puke on the spot). When all was said and done, the table was filled with nothing but empty cartons and a few crumbs. I had 9 and the other guys had 7 a piece. Not bad. Definitely soaked up all the alcohol and then some.


Showing off my world championship form

Good stuff…although not so good for our systems or my toilet, but definitely a successful first venture to the WC for Shye. Welcome to the brotherhood my friend.
Shabbat shalom.

White Castle for Thanksgiving? November 21, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, humor, video, white castle.
3 comments

So Krystal, for those who don’t know, is very similar to White Castle. Anyone who knows me knows I love me some Castle. My record is 30 burgers in one sitting. I’ve been known to knock back a dozen before you can blink an eye. Anyway, I guess I have some competition out there. Joey Chestnut, the top competitive eater in the U.S., is the record holder at the Krystal eating competition. He ate 28 burgers in 2 minutes. Pretty sick. He’s also the one who ate 52 hot dogs at Nathan’s this year, only 2 dogs short of Kobayashi. Here’s Joey in action:

Nasty stuff. He’s a hero to us all. If I had only known this was a competitive sport years ago, I’d probably reign supreme!

Anyway, as you sit down at the table this Thanksgiving, think of shoveling mashed potatoes or stuffing into your mouth as fast as you can and think of all the Joey Chestnut’s of the world who do this for a living and aspire to be them. For if America is the fattest country on the planet, we might as well be the fattest and fastest eaters! It’s time to take Kobayashi down! USA! USA!

Enough is enough already June 5, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, opinion, restaurant, white castle.
3 comments

Ok, I’ve officially had enough of the gentrification of New York. First they close the White Castle on 5th and 33rd to pave way for yet another “luxury development”. Ok, fine. But now…now you’ve really pissed me off.

Very few of you have probably been to Roll N Roaster, but some of you have heard me rant and rave about it. It’s a Brooklyn institution. Located in Sheepshead Bay, it’s the ultimate in “fast food” and is a late night staple of anyone out late drinking. Known for it’s motto, “Cheeze on anything you pleeze” it’s specialities are Roast Beef on a roll, mozzarella sticks and waffle fries (with lots of CHEEZE of course). Anyway, last year they opened a Manhattan location on 3rd and 11th. I was obviously delighted about it. Critics mocked it as “kvitchy and trying to be cute”. TRYING??? Obviously if you haven’t been to the original you wouldn’t realize it was nearly an exact replica. Ok, so maybe the workers in the Manhattan location were “poor” NYU student workers instead of the “been around the block a few times” Brooklyn girlz that work in the Sheepshead Bay location, but that’s part of the charm. Others called it “dirty”. I mean so it wasn’t a fuckin martini bar but it wasn’t filthy like the various Papaya King places. And you mean to tell me Ray’s Pizza on a late Friday night is clean? Assholes.

So I happen to be in that area on Saturday night and I thought, while I’m down here I should stop in to get a snack. Well imagine my surprise when I walk past and it’s closed. FUCKIN CLOSED. Probably to pave way for some trendy bullshit place that these little non New York raised NYU shitheads can lounge out in and pay $100 for a Grey Goose Tonic. I honestly knew the place was doomed and even mockingly said on Saturday night to Deb, Dan and Erika before I went there that “I was going there if it was still open”. I should’ve known. I guess poor job by Roll N Roaster by going the way of Junior’s and Lundy’s and Totonno’s trying to duplicate their successes in Brooklyn into Manhattan. But really, it was the perfect choice for that neighborhood since people are out all hours of the night. So I don’t blame them there. I blame these little snobby assholes that now infest the area. At first I didn’t sympathize with the East Village and Alphabet City residents who complained that their neighborhoods were being gentrified. But now I understand. And can sympathize. Cause now I too have been stung by this “luxury movement” in NYC. And it’s happening in East Harlem too. There’s 5 trendy martini bars on 1st Avenue between 106 and 118. Of course a Mama’s Fried Chicken had to take the fall for a place called “Orbit” that serves $12 mojitos to the “rich” people of East Harlem. What’s next, White Castle on 103rd becomes a Cosi? Kennedy Fried Chicken becomes a Chipolte? Unreal.

Anyway, onto funnier news…apparently tomorrow is 666, therefore the end of the world as we know it. Actually Betus.com has the odds of the world ending tomorrow at 100,000 to 1. I’m not kidding. Here’s the article

Also there’s a party in Hell, Michigan. I didn’t even know there was a Hell in Michigan. But here’s the link to that story: Party Planned in Hell

I would put a few bucks down on the world ending, although I would have to hope that not only I would survive but also whatever island is home to Betus.com. But thoeretically I could become the richest man on the planet. Take that Bill Gates.