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My Big Fat Greek New Year’s January 4, 2008

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in dancing, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, restaurant, video.
7 comments

Firstly happy New Year’s too all! Hope the holiday season treated you all well.

My New Year’s Eve was very entertaining. The night started with some drinks and appetizers and led to a restaurant in Astoria (which I hold off from mentioning in case they decide to send us a bill). Let’s just say (without naming names) that three out of the six of us got a little sick (not me) in the restaurant bathroom, leading two out of the six to leave the restaurant shortly after appetizers arrived.

Anyway, sparing you all of the sickly details, the rest of the evening was actually pretty entertaining, despite the fact that we knew no one else in the restaurant and apparently everyone else there knew each other or knew the waitresses and owners. So it basically felt like we were crashing someone’s wedding, especially since most patrons were dressed in suits and dresses (and we were their white trash cousins dressed in sweaters and jeans). There was live music with an acoustic guitar duo singing traditional Greek folk songs and eventually some of the restaurant patrons started dancing to said traditional Greek folk songs which led to more Greek traditions. But before I get into that let me just rave about the food for a moment.

The food was exceptional and arrived in droves. A greek salad arrived alongside shrimp that was placed in a phyllo pastry puff, a plate of grilled sausage and marinated meatballs. Unfortunately it was already 10:30pm by the time apps had arrived and we wouldn’t see our main courses until well after midnight.

Like 45 minutes after midnight.

However despite our stomachs on revolt and the novelty of making noise with party favors wore off, the main courses didn’t disappoint. We were treated to lamb, shrimp and steak. Being that this was authentic greek, I went straight for the lamb which was tender and juicy. Forgoing knife and fork, I grabbed said chop in my grubby paws and went to town (my apologies for the shitty pics my camera phone took).


Lamb


Steak

Shortly after stuffing our face with meaty goodness out came the dessert. Needless to say I was all over the baklava.

During dinner and dessert is when the dancing started. It was entertaining watching everyone dance around in circles, with their arms held high snapping their fingers.

But then the most unexpected thing happened (which I later found out was another Greek tradition). Some of the men in the restaurant started making it rain (the clip above and the two below are videos – click to play).


I found out that throwing money around is a way to garner wealth and prosperity in the coming year.

Granted these guys were only throwing wads of singles in the air, but by the time we were ready to leave there had to be a few hundred dollars worth of singles on the floor.

Crazy times. Those greeks know how to party!

Vacation – a brief recap December 22, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in photos, pictures, travel.
9 comments

I may have misled some of you into thinking we took an exotic vacation based on the previous pics of the beach.

Well we did go down Souf to Florida. But only to the extremely exotic location of Orlando, Florida.

Our trip was to Universal Studios, to which I have never been.

Since we got down there a few hours before our hotel opened, we decided to do what anyone else would do in Orlando in the late morning. Play mini-golf.

However the mini-golf gods weren’t pleased with our playing mini-golf at 11am apparently, as they caused my shorts to rip. How you ask? Well I straddled a bench to get my ball that had gotten away from me and into the water. And then psssssffft. We got a ripper.

As you could image I was pretty despondent after my “wardrobe malfunction”

But I finally sucked it up, and we went to play in the park.

Right off the bat we went for the Hulk ride…which is a looping, twister fast coaster. Ordinarily I would have laughed my way through, but only after popping some motion sickness pills. Sans pills the ride was still fun, but I was definitely a little nauseaus afterwards.

Luckily I resisted the urge to blow chunks

After finally settling down, we grabbed drinks at Pat O’Brien’s, home of the famous hurricane.

After treating myself to some shrimp gumbo

and a muffaletta, day one came to a peaceful end capped by a gorgeous “moonset” over Universal

and checking into our “futuristic” hotel.

Day two found more fun at Universal’s Islands of Adventure, where we met some four legged friends

The pug you may recognize as Frank from Men in Black II.

After passing on some turkey legs for lunch

we took a quick drive over to Hollywood.

After returning from our drive, the rest of day was full of attractions and rides, such as the standing roller coaster Dueling Dragons and the most soaking water rides you’ll ever go on. Seriously. We were drenched for about two hours.

Day 2 capped off with a Macy’s themed parade where we saw some interesting friends


Nice dance move there


Shrek knows I’m the man

How did they know I just love a girl in cake?

Day 3 was filled with even more rides and fun, including going back to double dip on the Hulk ride, Doctor Doom and Spiderman’s virtual reality ride. After 6 hours of non-stop action, we needed to break for a well needed drink

I won’t bore you with the rest of the details from our trip but overall it was a great mini-getaway. Plus the park was EMPTY! There were no lines and we were able to go from ride to ride with ease. Definitely advised to go there the week before the week before xmas. In fact the only people there other than us were pretty much European tourists.

Before I depart, wanted to share some of my mad photo skills with y’all (Don’t say you’re not impressed 😉

Attention Holiday Shoppers November 29, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, opinion, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, sarcasm.
9 comments

Consumers: Be aware of pickpocketers this holiday season.

Employers: Be aware of employees this holiday season.

Funny how I was walking behind this guy the other day with this Loss Prevention jacket and a shopping bag. I mean, call it irony right? Of course I’m sure he was just taking home some merchandise he purchased at the store. But hey, you never know right? But why would he wear that jacket out on the street like that?

Personally I know no one will fuck with my shit this holiday season or in general.

Why?

I have a nice grizzly watching over my stuff:

Try stealing my stapler now bitch. Have a bear bite your hand off. See how that feels.

What Are the Odds??? November 28, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in current events, movies, new york city, opinion, photos, pictures, subways, world news.
13 comments

Before I begin, let’s have a quick moment of silence for Mr. Gatorade himself, Dr. Robert Cade, who passed away at the age of 80:

Gatorade is far superior to Vitamin Water or Powerade or any other “performance drink” out there. Plus Gatorade is the next best thing for a hangover besides a Bloody Mary! So thank you, Dr. Robert Cade for your invention. You’ll be missed.

So once again I saw our favorite friend on the subway last night: the David Koresh/Bruce Vilanch look-a-like in the flesh!

Albeit the last picture of him was a little clearer but can’t believe I was actually sitting across from this guy again. What are the odds of that happening in a city of 10 gazillion people?

Speaking of NYC and people, I’m actually pretty psyched to see the movie “I Am Legend” with Will Smith. Especially since I recently read a book entitled “The World Without Us” by Alan Weisman. Actually I read the book back in the Spring, months before it even was out on the presses (I got my hands on an advanced copy). The book is now a New York Times Best Seller! Talk about being ahead of the curve!

The book was definitely enthralling and spoke about what would happen to the world if humans ceased to exist right now. It got to be a bit scientific regarding chemical compounds and how it related to objects disintegrating, so if you like that sort of thing, this is right up your alley. But it also offered a great view back throughout time and spoke about the evolution and migration of species, which facinated the hell out of me (I eat that shit up). My favorite part was the discussion of what NYC used to be like, populated by Bear and Wolves. Apparently bear used to fish for salmon down in a spring that bisected lower Manhattan (now known as Spring Street).

The website for the book is pretty cool as well, full of multimedia to depict possible scenerios should humans cease to exist today. Here are some pictures depicting what NYC would look like if humans ceased to exist right now:


After 2 days of no humans


After 2-4 years of no humans


After 5 years of no humans


After 300 years of no humans


After 500 years of no humans


After 15,000 years of no humans

The book explains why this would happen, ranging anywhere from habitat reemerging by way of weeds, plants and animals and the lack of humans to keep up maintenance in our subway tunnels, buildings and bridges.

I’m sure all the pigeon-fuckers out there would be thrilled with this scenerio…although then they wouldn’t be around to fuck their pigeon friends up the ass, so they’ll miss out.

Anyway the book is definitely a must-read if you like to read about scientific and reality based “what-if” scenerios and are a fan of the world and its environment in general.

Thanksgiving: A photo journal November 27, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, photos, pictures.
15 comments

Thanksgiving: A Photo Journal

So as promised (albeit a few days late) here is a “photo essay” of my Thanksgiving day feast [this is especially for you L.K…if you still even visit anymore consider how neglectful I’ve been about visiting you recently…or anyone else for that matter. 😦 ]


A little shrimp cocktail appetizer


The bird


My “children’s plate” side of veggies


Round 1


Round 2

Dessert is served:

A friendly reminder November 21, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, opinion, photos, pictures.
10 comments

Please carve your turkeys humanely this Thanksgiving. They sure would appreciate it!

This message has been Chuck Norris approved!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Go COWBOYS!!!

“Cult” of Personality October 31, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, eating, food, football, opinion, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, sports, travel.
14 comments

So I’m stealing a line from one of my most favorite songs of all time, Living Colour’s Cult of Personality.

Although the cult I’m referring to are the fans that inhabit Darrel Royal Stadium at the University of Texas, Austin.

I was last at a Longhorns game about 5 years ago and was amazed by how every single fan knew every single chant and battle hymn. Coming from a I-AA football school, we were lucky if students remembered when the team was actually at home.

Anyway, I had the chance to go to another Longhorns game this past weekend, as we were down in Austin celebrating Rich’s bachelor party. We saw UT take on perennial powerhouse Nebraska, who themselves have been struggling of late.

The hotel we stayed at (the Days Inn University) was packed full of Nebraska fans who made the trip down south. However, not wanting to be the enemies of 80,000 fans that pack into the stadium, we decide to don the home burnt orange and white.


The crew donning the burnt orange and white

We ended up tailgating at Sholz Garten before the game…which was this huge facility with a large backyard picnic type area with hundreds of peeps packed in. They had a large indoor hall with a big screen TV, where diehards were glued to one of the games. Outside they had a few bars with bbq grills. After waiting in line for 20 minutes for a pulled pork sandwich at one of the pits, I grabbed a seat and took a bite. However said pulled pork was kinda cold and very fatty. Definitely not an appetizing snack whatsoever, especially added to the fact I waited 20 minutes to get it.


The disappointing pulled pork at Sholz

Other than that the beer was great (kudos for having Spaten Oktoberfest on draft!) and the atmosphere was pretty kick ass!

(side rant coming: everything in Austin is made to order. Nothing is cooked ahead of time. While this is a nice touch, it adds completely unnecessary delays, especially at a tailgate or even at the game itself. The lines all day were ridiculous, because even soda from the fountain was made to order. They even ran out of hotdogs and pretzels before half time because they didn’t keep filling the machines. At Sholz, they made the burgers to order. So they waited for someone to order before throwing it on the grill. Now, when you have a line, of lets say 50 people or so, good planning dictates more than half of them will be getting a burger when it’s one of the 5 items you offer up. Dont’cha think you should have a bunch grilling and ready to rock, instead of having people stand there for 20 minutes? I mean I appreciate the “human touch”, I really do. But let’s talk about efficiencies here people. Think ahead. Prepare. Don’t run out of fuckin hotdogs at a football game. Thanks).

Back to football. Even though the team is struggling a bit this season, the fans were rapid from the opening ceremonies. The old PeeWee favorite “The Stars at Night are Big and Bright…Deep in the Heart of Texas” gets the crowd singing along, young and old alike. Not even at a professional football game will you find the crowd as pumped up before the game even starts than you will at UT. Case in point, when the players emerge from the tunnel and head across the field for a pre-game prayer, the fans pray with them.

It’s not all that surprising considering that in a state like Texas, football and god go hand-in-hand.

The Longhorns ended up winning the game 28-25. Nebraska actually had a lead in the second half with momentum, but couldn’t capitalize on a Interception around midfield as their drive stalled and ultimately UT took advantage of their superior talent in the game.

There’s some more stories to share, including how it took us over an hour to get food served to us at two different locations over the weekend…so stay tuned!

The Guacamole Story October 24, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, photos, pictures, stupidity.
15 comments

So many of my friends have heard this story by now, so figured it was a good one to share on this rainy Wednesday. Plus after all these months I finally got the pictures of the ordeal so for the first time ever, there’s some pictures to go along with the infamous story.

Back at our Holiday party last December in our office, we had a professional chef – John Reilly – come and cook up us a feast. Mr. Reilly is a renowned chef who has cooked for presidents in the White House and now has a catering company here in NYC. Mr. Reilly is also an avid hunter and wild game chef, and delighted us in the past with such delicacies as Black Bear empanadas, Braised Pheasant, Smoked Duck Lo Mein and Venison Burgers.

For our holiday party Mr. Reilly served up a smorgasboard of treats, including grilled shrimp, lamb chops, chicken and beef skewers and venison quesadillas with homemade quacamole.

It was heaven for a carnivore and I was up to the task, eating pretty much non-stop for 2 straight hours. Plus I helped myself to a bunch of beers and homemade margaritias.

At the end of the party, dessert came out in the form of homemade fudge brownie squares with vanilla ice cream. Of course there’s always room for desert so I helped myself to a few squares and was ready to call it an evening.

A bunch of us were sitting around and the conversation turned to eating. One of my coworkers bragged about how many brownie squares he could shove in his mouth. This inevitably led to conversations about eating capacity, which somehow turned into a dare.

There was a full bowl of guacamole on the table. When I say full, I mean flowing and over the top. The guacamole was in one of those molcajetes – the stone bowls traditionally used at Mexican restaurants to serve guacamole. Somehow the bet turned to me and the challenge was to finish the entire bowl of guacamole in 5 minutes.

Initially I resisted since I had just eaten and drank for 2 straight hours and was way past capacity. Even though money started flowing on the table (got up to $100), it was ultimately my pride (and stupidity) that led me to accept the challenge.

At first the guacamole went down smoothly and I was plowing along. However no matter how fast I ate, when someone would scoop a fresh batch onto my plate it seemed like the bowl was still way past full. It didn’t help matters that some in the room were trying to make me laugh, including putting one of those 100 gallon garbage bins next to me.


Co-workers making me laugh was costing me some valuable time

I was undeterred however and kept plowing along. However at the three minute mark things started to slow down tremendously. At this point our lovely PR director here decided to get her camera to start capturing the action (in case I started to puke everywhere – how kind of her 🙂

My hands literally started shaking after about 4 minutes. I was about halfway through the bowl and there was no way I was finishing it with a minute to go. I felt my color leaving my skin. It felt like I was 10 shades of pale. I was taking long bites and struggling to shallow even the smallest bite. So out of kindness they decided to bonus me two extra minutes.


Starting to struggle


Feeling completely pale

After sipping margaritas (probably not the best thing to drink while eating fast) I got past the wall that hits most competitive eaters and runners alike.


Getting to the bottom of the bowl

With renewed confidence, I started to plow through the rest of the guacamole. Shoveling it into my mouth as fast as I could, I finished the entire bowl at just under 7 minutes!

I couldn’t believe I had actually done it. I was beyond full it was so disgusting. I was beyond a food coma. My eyes were completely gazed over and my whole system felt like it was in shock.

I heard hootin and hollering around me but I literally just sat there staring dead ahead in a complete daze. People were high fiving me and I’m not sure I could feel my hands. Now I know what Kobayashi, Chestnut, Thomas and Conti must feel like after a competition. You’re beyond bloated and stuffed. You literally put on like 5 pounds just from the food alone.

Mr. Reilly unfortunately had left prior to the competition, but our boss called him up and told him what transpired. After some negotiation, the chef agreed to give me the guacamole bowl, which was hand made specifically for him down in Guatamala! I think that was a better prize than the cash!


The prized trophy

The best part was the wait staff that was working during our party had no idea what was going on. After I had finished the guacamole, one of the workers came back into the room and looked stunned at what had transpired. Our boss asked him if he’s ever seen anyone eat that much guacamole at once and he shook his head no. He then proceed to exclaim in astonishment that I had ate 22 avocados! It was well over a quart of guacamole (can’t remember the exact amount).


Trying to stop my hand from shakin afterwards

The worst part was we still were heading out to dinner afterwards. Sadly I just sat there at dinner staring at the food in front of me. Couldn’t eat a thing.

I did manage to keep everything down surprisingly. I did feel pretty sluggish over the next few days but I wasn’t too badly bothered by the ordeal. Actually we went out for mexican a few days later and I was able to eat guacamole pretty easily (at least I was eating it at my own pace!)

I am now the resident eating champ of my office and an official consultant on any eating competition from here on out. I’ll have to prepare myself for a new challenge this holiday season. Hopefully it will involve some kind of protein, perhaps burgers, steak or maybe shrimp or oysters!

Friday Video Fun October 19, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in funny, humor, opinion, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, video, weird.
35 comments

Since I’m probably going to be absolutely buried in work today, won’t have much to say.

But our friends at Ration Reality always have something to say! This time they’ve uncovered some really disturbing commercials courtesy of our friends oversees.

They’ve uncovered:

* An animated cleaning powder that snorts his white powder cleaning solution, gets high, and crashes to the floor

* A japanese “kiddie beer” commercial that shows families happily drinking this ‘non alcoholic’ beverage that is supposed to foster future beer drinking among youth

* A japanese milk commercial that looks like it’s a play on our old drinking milk commercials where the person drinking milk grows before your eyes. You know the commercials, where the puny kid who drinks milk grows up to be bigger and stronger than the bully who was pushing them around. Well, instead of growing taller, in this commercial the girls boobs grow bigger with each passing sip!

* A Russian (actually Estonian) meat processing commercial that flashes back and forth between the chicken and his meat being ground up.

Fucked up and disturbing? Yes. Mildly amusing and borderline hysterical? You bet!

To view these commercials in all their glory go to:
http://rationreality.com/2007/10/17/foreigners-are-weird-bizarre-commercials-vol-1

Thanks again for uncovering those gang, made my day!

Also, one last thing to share. I’m sitting across from this guy on the subway last night who was slightly tripped out on something. He had a shiteating grin on his face and his eyes kept rolling into the back of his head.

I couldn’t decide who he reminded me more of, David Koresh,

or Bruce Vilanch.

Tough call…opinions anyone?

Move bitch, get out the way October 18, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, bathroom humor, common sense, critique, current events, humor, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, signs, stupidity, yankees.
33 comments

Today’s post is dedicated to all of those assholes who get in the way.

Like the guy who was arrested a few years back for blocking traffic on the sidewalk.

The pedestrian in question, Matthew Jones, “was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest — by flailing his arms– on June 12, 2004. Police said other people “had to walk around” him, and he wouldn’t move when asked.” He is currently appealing his arrest.

Well I’m glad he went to the slammer. Had he followed the proper rules of pedestrian engagement and wasn’t a douchebag maybe he would have avoided getting a plunger stuck up his ass.

Next up is this fat ass who got in the way of a sixty-nine:

Good job 55. Fuckin fat ass. All I wanted was a picture of a 6-9 and you ruined it. Don’t you know there’s only two people in a sixty-nine…unless you’re in a Utah porn or something (btw, someone got to my blog recently by searching for Utah porn. Not sure why Utah porn is so special. Maybe it’s because of all the mormons. hmm…)

Another guy who needs to go the fuck home is this guy:

“The protest was not without its superfans. Joaquin Ferreira, 54, of Brooklyn, arrived decked out in a Yankees hat and jacket. A fan for 10 years, he said, “I’m here to support Joe Torre. If Joe leaves, the Yankees will go to hell.”

Wait a minute…Superfan? 10 years?? Are you fucking kidding me?!? So let’s see…hmm…10 years ago was 1997. Oh WAIT, that was ONE year AFTER the Yankees won the World Series. OH so that qualifies him as a superfan??? That Bandwagon jumping muthafucka? Un real. So he’s been a fan just as long as Joe Torre has been a manager with the team. Nice. Good intelligent writing AM New York. Oh and look, the person who wrote the article is a Newsday writer. The pinaccle of sports journalism. What a joke. Calling him a super fan is like calling boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/ funny. (LK- there you go, I took a shot at her. Third in the voting for funniest blog my ass.)

Another person who needs to get out of the way is this asshole that had a sign that said “Cowboys Bound 4 Superbowl”.

Good job genius. Hope some Patriot fans shoved that up your ass after the game. Moron. Why don’t you wait until we’ve actually made the playoffs before declaring a trip to the Superbowl. Oh, wait…you must be a “superfan” too like the douche above. Let me guess, you started being a Cowboys fan in ’93? And no true fan goes to the game with a sign that calls out the network that’s calling the game. Fuck face.

Oh and btw…why that girl was announcing to the world that she’s a Homo Sexual is beyond me. I mean she’s cute and all and some chick would be lucky to have her as a partner. But seriously, honey, saying you’re a homo sexual with a big sign is probably not the best way to get on TV.