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And you thought the Patriots were perfect?!? November 21, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in nintendo, sports, video, video games.
6 comments

Sure…gloat about the unstoppable Patriots offense. And rave about their defense if you will. But they did go undefeated WITHOUT giving up a point all season???

Did they? (Well assuming they go 16-0 that is).

Nope…didn’t think so.

After throwing the next to impossible shutout in Nintendo Baseball, I tried to go for another unbelievable feat: going an entire season in Tecmo Bowl without giving up a single point.

Not one.

Those who played the game know as the weeks go on, the competition gets tougher (as in the computer gets faster). Game play during the Tecmo Bowl itself is lightning quick for Nintendo standards.

Last time I attempted this feat with the Bears, I gave up a TD in week 5 to the Dolphins. Given that the Bears D is probably still one of the better units in Tecmo Bowl, I figured I’d give them first crack at trying to achieve the seemingly impossible.

Would they succeed in their quest? Here are the results:

Week 1 saw the Vikings go down hard 70-0. Not much of a contest for the Bears. This one was over from the start when Willie Gault ran back to opening kickoff to the Vikings 10.

Week 2 came the Dolphins, who ended my quest early last go around in Week 5. This time was almost the case again as Marino led his troops on a last second drive down the field. With time winding down in the 4th Qtr the Dolphins had first and goal from the 9. After a short run followed by a Bears sack, they had 3rd and Goal from the 11 with 5 seconds left. Marino dropped back in the pocket and found Duper underneath. Dave Duerson met Duper at the goalline and Mike Singletary came in for the tackle to preserve the shutout. Whew. Talk about dramatic. Just about matched the Rams tackling the Titans in just shy of the end zone in Super Bowl XIVJESUSTHESUPERBOWLGAMETAKESFOREVERDOESNTITIMJUSTSAYING. Final score, 63-0.

So now my hands were already sweating and it was only week 2. If fate wasn’t on my side now, it never would be.

Week 3 saw my beloved Cowboys take a crack at the Bears. They should have just stayed in the locker room as the Bears steamrolled Herschel Walker and friends 62-0.

The Giants stepped up to the plate in Week 4, boasting perhaps the second best D in Tecmo Bowl next to the Bears.

Lawrence Taylor and friends were flying around the field, but Walter Peyton was too much too handle as the Bears chipped away with short gains all day. Meanwhile Simms, Morris and Bavaro went nowhere fast. Final score 61-0, thanks to 2 Giants blocks of extra points (their specialty in Tecmo).

Week 5 bought the Raiders and boy was I relieved to see Bo Jackson in week 5 rather than in the Tecmo Bowl. So the Bears definitely caught a break there. But regardless, the Bears keyed in on stopping Bo who only ripped off one decent sized run. Marcus Allen went nowhere and a whole bunch of Mike Singletary INT’s made Tecmo Bo a blip on the radar, 66-0.

Week 6 had John Elway and his high flying aerial attack and Tony Dorsett on the ground. The Bears played a bit of prevent all game and it led to Elway leading the Broncos on a few long drives. However a few key Singletary INT’s, including one in the end zone! and one on the Bears 20 kept the Broncos off the board. Almost lost the shutout but thanks to my boy Singletary the shutout remained in tact. Final score, 52-0.

Week 7 saw the Seahawks who had a formidable D anchored by Brian Bosworth and a deep threat in Steve Largent. However Dave Krieg couldn’t out throw Mike Singletary, who helped out with double coverage on Largent and the rest of the team stuffed the run all game. With the win, the Bears are the Division Champs! But who cares about that, the shutout still in tact, Bears in a rout, 63-0.

Week 8 and the competition was heating up. Fortunately the Colts were next and these are definitely not the Manning Colts of today. Jack Trudeau was ineffective as best as the D focused on shutting down Eric Dickerson, holding him to negative yards on the ground. The Colts D was able to pick off McMahon once deep in their own end late in the 4th qtr, keeping the score a “respectable” 56-0.

Week 9 and I felt the anticipation via my sweaty palms. Eight straight games without a break and up were the Browns, who faced the Bears in my last go round in week 9 as well. Knowing the Browns put up points on the Bears last time thanks to their special teams the Bears tightened down the screws on kick coverage. Bernie Kosar looked rattled all day as blitzes came and went. Kevin Mack had a few runs of 10+ but mostly was kept in check by a swarming Bears D. The Bears offense struggled with the stingy Browns D, but was able to hit Willie Gault on a few deep bombs to win the Division championship in a laugher, 49-0.

Week 10 saw the 49ers and Joe Montana. With Jerry Rice running deep routes and Roger Craig pounding away yardage on the ground, the Bears D had their work cut out for them. As did the offense with Kevin Carter busting up the middle every play and Ronnie Lott roaming the secondary. Willie Gault set the tone with a long opening kick return and the Bears put up a quick 14 in the first. The first half was uneventful as the Bears kept Montana in check to go up 28-0. The second half was tougher as the Niners drove down the field several times. However the Bears stiffened, stopping the 49ers on several 4th down attempts inside Bears territory. The Bears ate some clock with the ground game and short passes and took what the Niners D gave them. A tough one, but the D held up en route to a 42-0 victory.

Tecmo Bowl. It all came down to one game. One last stand to preserve an undefeated and un-scored-upon season. The Redskins. The hated Redskins were the opponent. Doug Williams, Timmy Smith and Monk and Sanders at WR. The D led by Dexter Manley. Tough, grind it out kind of game expected. The Bears D had Williams confused all game and gutted out plenty of three and outs leading to punts. The Bears put together long drive after long drive that ate away precious time on the clock. Walter was magnificant, ripping off a few long runs for TDs as the Bears piled up the points.

In the 4th Quarter up 42-0 all the Bears had to make were a few last defensive stands (click to play video):

After Singletary’s pick, the Bears only foe was the clock. The Bears attempted to run out the clock but Peyton was stuffed cold twice. A short gain on 3rd down led to a 4th and 6th. Bears went for it from the Redskins 30 instead of kicking a FG. McMahon was sacked on the play, giving the ball back to the Redskins with one last chance to end the Bears hopes of not giving up a point.

On 3rd and 12 the Redskins needed a big play (click to play video):

Stuffed, like a Thanksgiving turkey. And why they punted on 4th down I’ll never know. So the Bears had the ball back with 20 seconds to go. Picking up another 1st down would seal the deal:

It’s done!!! AN ENTIRE SEASON WITHOUT YIELDING A POINT! 42-0 is your final! Awesome stuff. My Nintendo record setting day was complete. A shutout in Baseball and an entire season of Tecmo Bowl without yielding a single point. Holy fucking shit.

Btw, if you’re keeping count: Bears 626. Opponents 0. Take that Belichek!

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What a week it’s been! November 20, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in nintendo, sports, video games.
14 comments

So again, apologies for the lack of updates recently. Been a crazy time at work and it seems like just about every agency is in “hurry up and put their 2008 plans together before the holiday” mode. So needless to say there hasn’t been much time to blog, let alone have any energy left at the end of the day to say something productive.

Then when I finally thought I had something funny to say, I came across that whole girls in a cup phenonemon that’s all the internet rage these days. If you haven’t seen it, consider yourself blessed. It’s pretty nasty. If you really, really wanna be grossed out go to http://www.2girls1cup.com/

I was told that my blog would be boycotted if I showed the video or pictures of what transpires on the site. So I guess I’ll refrain.

So onto more cheerful stuff that doesn’t involve girls licking what appears to be coffee ice cream.

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Sorry B…had to do it….sorry.

Anyway, this past weekend I was feeling very lazy after an exhausting week so I decided to hook up the ole Nintendo and take a pass at trying to finally achieve “my lifelong dream” of throwing a shutout in Nintendo Baseball.

I know…after giving up a Homerun with 2 strikes in the bottom of the ninth (that was all caught on video no less) I decided to give it another whirl. The ole’ college try as they say.

After taking my first shutout bid into the 7th inning with the “Y” (Yankees) vs. the “C” (Cardinals) I gave up a double and then a two out single that broke up the shutout. Undeterred, but extremely pissed off, I tried again and this time took out my frustrations on the “P” (Phillies) by pouring the runs on. Instead of trying to keep the game close to avoid that “Nintendo cheat” where the losing team always comes back, I figured I’d try to demoralize the hell out of my opponent. Would they be lifeless if I put up a 10 spot on them? I was determined to find out.

I jumped on the computer very early putting up 5 in the first and 5 more in the second. I hadn’t scored more than 22 runs before in Nintendo Baseball and I already had 10 in the first two innings! Meanwhile I worked 1-2-3 innings in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd.

After tacking on 4 more runs in the 4th I had a nice 14-0 lead. Here comes the cheat.

After a leadoff double I tried to bear down. I threw some really good curve balls (amazing how you could make the ball move even in 1985 crappy Nintendo Baseball) and got back to back K’s. Then I got a grounder to SS to end the threat. The 5th inning was uneventful but my bats awoke in the 6th, putting up 5 more runs. 19-0 now. If the computer wasn’t devasted now, I don’t know when they’d ever be.

I got into minor trouble in the bottom of the 6th, but a nifty DP took care of business. I figured up 19-0 it may be time to record this puppy for immortality. Hopefully I wasn’t bringing on the jinx. But first it was time to go for 20.

After putting runners on the corners with 0 out, 20 was in definite reach. After scratching home the 20th run, I got two quick outs. But then the big blow came in leiu of a nice 3 run homer to break my personal record of runs scored in a game.


A three run homer gave me a new high in runs scored

Up 24-0 I was beyond amped. Only 3 innings to go and I wasn’t about to blow this opportunity. After getting two quick outs on sharply hit balls I gave up a double in the gap. Shit…had I pissed the computer off to the point that my shutout was doomed?

Whew…bullet dodged there. With renewed vigor the bats continued to pile on the offense in the top of the 8th.

Holy shit, 27-0. Unreal. 30 was a definite possibility at this point! But more importantly I wanted the shutout.

After adding another run to make it 28-0, to the bottom of the 8th we went. 6 outs away from a dream fulfilled. Again I found myself in trouble, giving up a one out double. After inducing a popup it was 2 outs with a runner on 2nd. Here’s the play:


You could hear the excitement in my voice. It was a mixture of glee and anxiety. And disbelief.

After going scoreless in the top of the 9th I took my 28-0 lead into the bottom of the 9th. Just 3 outs away.

Here’s the entire 9th inning in it’s entirety:

Unbelievable! Can’t believe I did it. Sure I screamed like a little girl. But who cares. It more than made my day. I think I was more excited about that then the Yanks or Cowboys winning a championship.

With my new found Baseball success I tried to complete another feat. Going an entire season in Tecmo Bowl without giving up a single point.

Was I successful? Tune in later to find out!

Wear it loud…wear it proud! October 11, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, baseball, brooklyn, fashion, humor, nintendo, nostaglia, opinion, random references, sports, video games.
20 comments

There’s a shirt I’ve been looking for recently after watching a documentary on the Brooklyn Dodgers. It’s an old “Keep the Dodgers in Brooklyn” shirt. It had the Dodgers logo and was given to fans back in the 50s as a rallying cry to keep the Dodgers from moving from Brooklyn to L.A.

John found a replica of the shirt from this company called No Mas.

While it wasn’t the shirt I was looking for, it is based on an authentic shirt that fans used to wear back then:

Their website had a ton of other really random, cool t-shirts.

Here’s a few of them I personally love:

The Amazing Mess

Even though the shirt is referring to the 86 Mets, I think it’s quite appropriate given this year’s collapse!

Tecmo Bo

Who can forget Tecmo Bo and he unstoppable hijinks in Tecmo Bowl! If you need a reminder on how good Bo was in Tecmo Bowl, here’s a reminder for you (click to play).

Rated Rookie

Donruss’ Rated Rookie cards were a hot commodity back in the days. I know I jumped for joy when I found a McGwire rated rookie in a pack of Donruss.

For those who don’t remember what the cards looked like, here’s an example:

Btw, is it just me or does Greg Maddux look strikingly (get it – he’s a pitcher – strikingly – I’m a fuckin genius!) like Pedro in that picture?

Strawberry

Love the sarcasm of the whole “say no to drugs” and Strawberry angle. If only the picture had him AND Doc Gooden leaning against a “Coke” vending machine. Now that would be classic!

Although I think this picture would more exemplify a “Say No to Drugs” campaign!

And to think all three of those guys were the biggest stars in the heydays. How the mighty fall sometimes. Speaking of the mighty falling…received this candid picture of Jay Squirrel, Keywork’s opponent in the presidential race.

Scratching my basketball itch March 5, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in basketball, games, nintendo, random references, video games.
6 comments

So fresh off watching my beloved Marist College Red Foxes Men’s Basketball team get beaten by our arch-rival Siena Saints last night in the M.A.A.C conference semi-finals I’ve decided to hold off on my post-game analysis until the bitterness of the loss and anger from the loss dies down a bit. For those not in the know, the college I graduated from over a decade ago had their best team assembled since 1987 when former NBA player Rik Smits led Marist to back-to-back NCAA Tournament bids. They were a good team in 1995 but the infamous “Mustafa Barksdale” and the phantom 4 point play ended our NCAA Tournament hopes and sent us towards the N.I.T. So with our last postseason appearance being 1995 and having the #1 seed and a postseason appearance in this year’s N.I.T already locked down we were hoping to get to see Marist finally make it back to the big dance for the first time since 87. Alas it wasn’t meant to be as they had to play Siena for the second time within a week and Siena made the proper adjustments (and shot lights out all game) to finally defeat us. Didn’t hurt that our 7 foot center went 0-6 from 3 point land (my feelings for him were described in an early blog entitled “The Tallest P*SSY ever”). Anyway, as mentioned that’s a rant for another day since the blood is still boiling a bit.

Although one highlight of the weekend was watching our woman’s basketball team clinch their 3rd trip to the big dance in 4 years. The women’s team was far better than the men’s team this year, with their only losses coming to Duke, Maryland (defending National champs), Villanova (in OT), Yale (bad loss) and Loyola, MD. So congrats ladies on a job well done! They should receive an #11 or #12 seed so maybe this is the year they can actually win a game in the NCAA’s!

Anyway with March Madness in full swing and with my basketball itch just urging to be scratched, I wanted to share this cool article I found regarding the history of basketball video games. It’s pretty cool, especially for those who long for the games of yore like Double Dribble, Dr. J vs Larry Bird, NBA Jam, Lakers vs. Celtics and the NBA Playoffs and NBA Live 95! (here are some images to bring you back a bit)




Here’s the link to read the full article and view more images: http://www.ugo.com/channels/sports/features/basketball/games_2.asp

It’s a fun read and takes you through the history of gaming. Although they left out one of my personal favorites: Marv Albert’s talking basketball game for Sega Genesis. I would just play with the soundboard all game, making Marv say “Yes!” and “Yes, and it counts” time and time again. Good hours of wholesome family fun (and especially funny since those who know me know I have a great Marv Albert impersonation!). In fact he was long my idol and hero, until he bit that prostitute in the back. Although I won’t blame Marv for that. Everyone gets hungry every now and again. Just ask Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield.

A lifelong goal…achieved? February 22, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, baseball, games, humor, nintendo, sports, stupidity, video, video games.
2 comments

So continuing on this whole Nintendo gaming kick. I recently decided my next challenge from my gaming past was to try and throw a shutout in Nintendo Baseball. Yep, the original Nintendo baseball game with 6 teams that had letters to describe the team since they couldn’t use team licensing. So what they did was match the uniform colors to the team letter. The teams were: C (Cardinals), R (Royals), P (Phillies), Y (Yankees), D (Dodgers), A (Athletics).

The game was baseball in its simplest form. Nintendo baseball games got a lot better with the advent of baseball stars and bases loaded (yes Brian, i’m still working on getting that “footage” of Paste charging the mound in Bases Loaded).

Anyway, I’ve never thrown a shutout vs. the computer in Baseball. Its nearly impossible to do thanks to some internal “cheats” where the computer magically drums up some hits when they’re down to score a run. I mean I’ve blown the computer out several times, scoring as many as 30 runs. But pitching wise, it’s hard to keep the computer, or a human opponent for that matter, without a run.

I tried my quest with the Yankees at first and got to the 6th inning shutting out the A’s, but gave up a 3 run homer in the top of the 6th (I went on to win the game 18-5). I tried again with the Cardinals and got to the 4th inning, but a 2 run double ruined the shutout (final score 13-4).

In my frustrations I took a break. I regrouped and decided for one more run using the “pitching rich” Dodgers. I drew the Royals as an opponent, so my odds of throwing a shutout instantly increased (granted this is 1985 baseball when the Royals were decent).

In order to make the game go quickly and to concentrate on pitching, I bunted pretty much all game to get easy outs. Such went the top of the first, where i made three outs quickly. The Royals were the home team, and they threatened to end the shutout early with 2nd and 3rd and 1 out. But the generic lefty Dodger pitcher rose to the challenge with back to back strikeouts to end the threat.

The Dodgers went 3 up 3 down in the top of the 2nd as did the Royals in the bottom of the 2nd with 2 more strikeouts.

The third inning I decided to swing away and smacked a solo homerun to center field. I bunted the rest of the inning to keep the lead 1-0. Bottom of the third the Royals hit a leadoff double, but a pair of pop outs around a strikeout ended the threat. The middle innings were quiet, with the Royals picking up singles in the 5th and 7th, but getting no further. I decide to keep 1-0 lead in hopes the computer “cheat” would try to kick in if i had a big lead built up.

The bottom of the 8th brought drama as the leadoff batter for the Royals blasted a shot to left center. However I jammed him just enough to keep the ball in the park as it just hit the top of the wall for a double. After a clutch strikeout on a 3-2 count, an infield single put the Royals on 1st and 3rd with one out. The pitcher dug deep and after working a 2-2 count with mostly curveballs, I blasted a 90 mph fastball in on the hands to get a clutch strikeout. With two outs I kept lobbing in curveballs and induced a bouncer to the pitcher to end the threat. Whew.

I decided to keep the lead 1-0 going into the bottom of the ninth. The anticipation of being so close to my first Nintendo shutout was starting to make my palms sweat. I knew the computer was gonna come out swinging and they did, fouling off numerous pitches down the lines. I dug deep though and froze the first two batters with slow curveballs to two strikeouts looking. I had made both batters look like Beltran in the NLCS frozen by slow knee bending curveballs. I was beyond amped at this point.

Two outs. Bottom of the ninth. One out away from achieving a “life-long goal”…or at least a goal I had since I was a child.

My first pitch was an inside curve ball. Too far inside to nick the plate. My second pitch was an inside curve that hit the corner. Third pitch was fouled off deep to the right. Holy crap. That was close. He was on the curve. Do I go fastball and try to mix speeds up? It seemed by his swing he was looking fastball but got curved and fouled it off.

Then I made the fatal mistake of deciding to record this moment for infamy. In lieu of using my video camera since it’s non digital, I decided to use my cell phone. I had to position the camera in my lap to record the moment. I decided to go curveball inside to set up a fastball if the curve got fouled off. I was more worried about recording the event that I didn’t put as much snap on the curve as I wanted too. I wanted the pitch to go in and curve back. It was in on the hands but here’s the result (go to the blogger site to view the video):

Are you fuckin kidding me??? What an asshole I am. I knew that by recording the moment it was just asking for trouble. I could’ve just struck him out, took a picture of the screen and went from there (although some could’ve said, well you could have just been playing two player and “cheating”). So I did it legit and paid the price. Man, talk about clutch. I knew I should’ve went fastball. Devasting. So close. One strike away from a goal being fulfilled. Thanks to no extra innings in Nintendo baseball the game ended 1-1 after I struck out the next batter.

Although it did make for one of the best “live video game moments” of all time. It wasn’t like I grooved him a fastball down the middle. I was going for the strikeout and he basically crushed the ball off his hands. All it would need is Vin Scully’s voice to make it more dramatic. If I was a dork I would have audio tracked it, but don’t have that kind of time on my hands (maybe next time 🙂

I’m also willing to say that that’s one of the most dramatic and clutch homeruns of all time. Definitely ranks up there with Gibson’s HR, Puckett’s or Carter’s HRs in the World Series. If it had been a game winner could have been in the pantheon with the Yaz foul poul shot or the Bobby Thompson “Shot Heard Round the World”. Even if it didn’t take place on the “grandest stage”, those who have played Nintendo baseball know how high scoring the game is and how its very hard to throw a shutout.

Sympathy cards can be posted here if necessary or emailed to speedycdj@aol.com

The real "All-Star" game February 20, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, nintendo, sports, video games.
2 comments

So NBA All-Star weekend has come and gone. Those who knows me know I dislike the NBA recently because of the players by and large getting overpaid and the overall quality of the game slipping (with the exception of LeBron, Wade and the like) but that’s another blog. Anyway, loved the dunk competition, especially with Gerald Carter going old school with the Dee Brown jersey and the blind dunk over Nate Robinson (i’m sure its on NBA.com or YouTube if you haven’t seen it).

The three point contest was won by Jason Kapono, the former UCLA “standout”. Although it seems that besides Bird and Price “second tier” players always win the three point contest. Tim Legler, Craig Hodges, Jason Kapono. Very weird. Anyway
the skills competition was kinda stupid. Dribbling slalom and passing into a net. Very “Pro-Bowl”esque and kinda doesn’t belong. I’d rather see a couple of scantily glad show girls play 5 on 5 full court rather than watching Wade dribble around cones.

The actual All-Star game itself pretty much stunk. I mean we all saw how much it was a mismatch even without Steve Nash running the West. Not even LeBron and DWade could save the day. I think the West was up by 40 at one point. Plus how poorly did everyone shoot? Jesus. I mean these guys make millions right? I know you don’t have to care since its just an All-Star game and I know no one plays defense (as evidenced by the slashing dunks and the endless alley-oops), but everyone was clanking left and right. Too much partying in vegas I guess. But at least in the olden days guys made shots on occassion. In fact Bill Simmons just recently relieved the greatest all star game ever played, the 1987 All Star Game (Read more here)

Anyway, now in the basketball mood, I decided to recreate the all-star game on my own using the power of video games. I went to the most graphically intense video game I know….no, not NBA 2k7 or any other new console bball game. I went to the best team basketball game of all-time, Double Dribble.

To recreate the “mismatch” between West and East I decided to use the fast paced style of the West using the Chicago team vs. the talented, yet plodding East Coast style which would be played by the computer driven Boston squad. Here on forward I will refer to Chicago as East and Boston as West.

To start the game the sellout crowd poured into the arena and a trumpter with no name plays the national anthem. Already i’m liking the trumpet more than Wayne Newton. The East controls the jump ball and the West quickly steals the ball and after a few passes a nice reverse dunk by the West gets the action started.

The West feed off the energy of the dunk and go on a 18-4 burst to start the game.
The East quickly cuts the lead to 18-10, but the West goes on a 30-4 run to put them up 48-14. Being that Isiah Thomas is on the coaching staff for the East, the action continues without a timeout to stop the momentum. The West continues to pour it on, draining shots from everywhere on the court and owning the offensive glass. Every miss from 3 was followed up by a strong offensive rebound and putback. Passes were crisp and on the money, whereas the East turned the ball over constantly thanks to the West’s pressure defense.

The scoring is out of control as the East looks lost on the court. The West is unstoppable, constantly running off 20 point runs and causing all sorts of fits from the East’s coaching staff. Isiah was seen leaving the building after the lead hits 100 at the end of the first quarter. The second quarter brings a 30-4 West run and the route is officially on. The only thing the East has to look forward too at this point is the Las Vegas style halftime show featuring the Double Dribble dancers. The West do not relent on their attack and it’s decided on the West’s bench to push the lead to 200 before the half. The team responds by scoring 14 points in the final 60 seconds, and achieve that goal, going into halftime leading 260-58.

The East could have called it quits but they are troopers. However in retrospect, they should have stayed in the locker room. The West rip off a 40-4 run, capped off by a vicious Dominque-like Tomahawk Jam off a fastbreak.

The crowd is in disbelief at the rout they are seeing. Some even flee to the exits in horror. The West is slowing as well as they start missing shots due to fatigue. However they push the lead to close 300 by the end of the 3rd Quarter. The East basically become walking zombies on the court in the 4th Quarter, while the West starts playing around with falling out of bounds, off the backboard jumpers and crazy passing sequences where everyone touches the ball twice in 10 seconds. It’s high comedy time as the West finds a second wind with their bench players and starts to put the attack in overdrive. By the 9 minute mark of the 4th Quarter, the West reach a 400 point lead, up 494-94.

The rest of the game was spent by the West trying to hit crazy shots from half and full court. The East didn’t take too kindly to the West’s tactics but the West continued to humiliate the East regardless. While the West backed off the scoring a bit, they held the East in check. The East was able to break the century mark, much to the West’s dismay. Final score, 559-114.

The West has already vowed next year to hit the 600 point mark while holding the East to under 100. Stay tuned to see how that plays out!

Bears Revenge February 9, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, nintendo, sports.
3 comments

So after the Bears dropped to the Colts in the Suuuuper Bowl, I figured I’d give Tecmo Bowl another shot to see if i can go through the season undefeated and without giving up a single point. (See the December 30th post to view the last time I tried this. Last time week 5 I was scored on, and gave up 26 total points on the season).
A daunting task I know, but I was extra amped for it considering I was going to help the Bears take revenge. Also I wanted to face the Colts in the Tecmo Bowl, to see who the real winner of the game should have been. Without further adieu, here’s the results:

Week 1: vs Miami.

Miami broke the scoreless streak against the Bears in week 5 last attempt so there was plenty of revenge on the Bears minds. Sparked by that memory, Dennis Gentry returns the opening kickoff 82 years for a TD (who needs Devin Hester). That set the tone for the entire game as the Bears Defense swarmed Dan Marino and Lorenzo Hampton. Mike Singletary had 10 Interceptions. Yes, 10 interceptions in one game! Two of which were returned for TDs (25 and 18 yards). In fact Singletary had more INT return yards than Marino had passing yards. Jim McMahon was on fire all game connecting on 7 TDs, 6 of them going to fast Willie Gault who had TDs of 65, 14, 32, 45, 25 and 23 yards. Ron Morris caught the other TD pass (14) and Walter Peyton added 3 TD runs (1, 1, 13).

The result was a Tecmo Bowl record for myself 91 points!!! The final score: 91-0. My goal is still to try to hit the 100 mark vs. the computer. Hopefully one of these days I’ll pull it off. But here’s the proof of the 91 spot for those non believers/haters:

Week 2: vs San Francisco

Fresh off the record setting points win the Bears looked to avoid a letdown vs the 49ers. Montana was game, but the Bears defense led by Singletarys 7 INTs shut down the Montana to Rice connection. Roger Craig had 12 carries for -3 yards as the 49ers went nowhere all game. Offensively Jim McMahon continued his gunslinging ways, although he was intercepted once by Ronnie Lott. Willie Gault was once again the star hauling in 6 TDs (21, 18, 10, 23, 23 and a 38 yarder as time expired). Cap Boso hauled in 2 TDs (8, 4), Ron Morris added a 4 yard TD grab on 4th and goal and Walter Peyton punched in a 3 yard TD run as well. Final score: Bears 70-0.

Week 3: vs. NY Giants

The Giants are next up with their strong D led by the real L.T., Leonard Marshall and friends. The Bears priority was shutting down Joe Morris and they did, with Morris rushing 15 times for -7 yards. Phil Simms did no better as he was intercepted 8 times by Mike Singletary. The McMahon to Gault connection was once again lethal, combining for 7 TDs (23, 32, 18, 23, 14, 22, 27). Boso (1) and Morris (15) added TD grabs while Peyton rushed for a TD (3) and caught a TD (4). The Giants did manage to block one extra point, to keep the final score a “respectable” 76-0.

Week 4: vs Cleveland

The Browns put up 7 points on the Bears last go around in the Divisional Playoff Game (week 9). This time the Bears get the Browns earlier in the season which spelled trouble for Kosar and company. Dennis Gentry returned the opening kickoff for a TD, his second of the season. Kevin Mack was the main focus of the Bears D, and he was stuffed on the ground. However Mack did manage to break into Bears territory a few times on screen passes from Kosar, however Singletary shut the door on those drives, totaling 5 INTs on the game. Gault had a “quiet” game catching 4 TDs (48, 20, 12, 23) while Boso (3) and Morris (9) added a TD a piece. Peyton punched in a TD (2) and took a McMahon screen pass 38 yards for a TD. Final score, Bears 63-0.

Week 5: vs. Washington

Week 5 was the week the Bears’ shutout string was broken last time around by the Dolphins. Doug Williams, Timmy Smith and the crew don’t have the offensive firepower like the Dolphins but the D led by Dexter Manley and Darrell Green is more formidable. The Redskins D slowed down the Bears offense, and Manley picked off a McMahon pass, his 2nd INT of the season. The Redskins even blocked a 58 yard FG attempt by Matt Butler, his first attempt of the season. McMahon however was able to connect on 3 TD passes to Gault (24, 13, 11) but the game belonged to Walter Peyton who bullied his way in for 5 rushing TDs (2, 24, 3, 4, 10). The Bears put together a few long drives after forcing the Redskins to punt often. Timmy Smith had 10 carries for -4 yards as the Bears rolled, 56-0.

Week 6: vs Seattle

Week 6 brings the Seahawks as the Bears look to keep the shutout streak alive. Seattle’s offense is led by Dave Kreig and Kurt Warner (RB). The Bears focus their attention on stopping Warner and they deliver, holding him to 15 carries for -5 yards. Singletary gobbles up 7 Kreig passes for INTs as he blanketed Steve Largent all game. Gault catches 5 TDs from McMahon (35, 13, 21, 11, 33) while Morris adds 2 TDs (1, 13). Peyton punches in 2 TDs from 2 and 10 yards as the Bears roll again, 63-0.

Week 7: vs LA Raiders

Last time around, the Bears faced the Raiders in the Tecmo Bowl and the Raiders gave them fits scoring 13 points and holding the Bears to 45. The Bears remember that game well and switch their game plan a bit to focus the Defense on the secondary led by Dave Duerson, leaving Singletary to focus on Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen. Gentry nearly returns his 3rd opening kickoff for a TD, getting tripped up at the Raiders 4, leading to a 4 yard Peyton TD rush. Bo Jackson gets hammered all game, as the Raiders tried to pound Bo up the middle to no avail. Bo’s total: 16 carries for -14 yards. Ouch. Marcus Allen meanwhile only carries the ball once, a 3 yard gain. With Bo shut down, Duerson went to work in the secondary picking off 8 of Jay Schroeder’s passes. Duerson had one key interception while the Raiders were driving deep into Bears territory to keep the shutout streak alive. That INT was followed by a Walter Peyton 54 yard scamper, setting up a Peyton 3 yard TD run. Peyton later added another 3 yard TD run his third of the game. McMahon was efficient in the air, tossing 5 TDs to Gault (16, 5, 14, 10 and a 32 yarder as time expired). Morris caught a TD (10) and Peyton took a screen pass 12 yards for a TD as the final score was Bears 70-0.

Week 8: Denver Broncos

With the Raiders out of the way, the Bears needed to stay sharp as Elway and the three amigos were next on the list. Gentry was up to his old tricks again, this time returning the opening kickoff 70 yards for a TD, his 3rd of the season. However, Denver’s offense was certainly potent enough to break the scoreless streak and they nearly did, driving into Bears territory several times during the game. However Singletary was up to the task as he intercepted Elway 3 times during the game, twice in Bears territory. The Bears shut down Elway and the offense the rest of the game, forcing 5 Broncos punts. Tony Dorsett went nowhere either as he had 20 carries for -14 yards. The Bears were forced to put together long drives all game, as McMahon was forced to check down over the middle due to blanket coverage on Willie Gault. McMahon was frustrated into throwing an INT on the goalline by Rulon Jones stopping one Bears drive. However McMahon was able to hit Gault (1) and Morris (3) for short TD passes and McMahon notched his 1st rushing TD of the season on a 1 yard QB sneak. Peyton added two short TD runs (1, 2) as the Bears won 42-0.

Week 9: vs Minnesota

The Bears are two games away from acheiving their perfect season without giving up a point. The Minnesota offense isn’t the most potent, led by Anthony Carter (WR) and Darren Nelson (RB). Tommy Kramer (QB) was effective but not as deadly as Elway. Carter however was a dangerous return man. The Vikings D was tough all game, led by Chris Doleman. They shut down Gault, forcing the Bears to concentrate on short passes and the ground game. McMahon hits Boso (9) and Morris (10) for TD passes while Peyton has a good game on the ground connecting on 4 TD runs (17, 2, 6, 1). McMahon even runs for a 4 yard TD. The Bears contain the Vikings all game with Singletary notching 4 INTs. However it was a missed INT by Singletary in the 4th Quarter that set up a long completion from Kramer to his TE Jordan putting the Vikings deep in Bears territory. The Bears focus on Nelson, but he’s able to bust through the line and break two tackles en route to a 25 yard TD scamper, ending the Bears scoreless streak at 27 Quarters. The Bears block the extra point in frustration. The Bears respond with a TD of their own but Anthony Carter nearly returns the ensuing kickoff the distance. A Kevin Butler shoe string tackle saves the TD, stopping Carter on the Bears 30. The Bears D stiffens and forces a 4 and out to save any further points from being scored. The Bears tack on a 53 yard FG from Butler as time expires to notch a 52-6 victory.

TECMO BOWL: vs. Indianapolis

Well, look what matchup we have here. Bears vs. Colts. A chance for revenge for the Superbowl XLI loss. The Bears were fired up thanks to their scoreless streak ending. But they weren’t about to take the Colts lightly. Gentry ignited the team returning the opening kickoff 75 yards for a TD, his 4th of the season. McMahon was patient all game although he was intercepted once by Jon Hand. McMahon tossed TD passes to Boso (2), Morris (19) and a pair to Gault (12, 13). Peyton found room to run en route to 3 TD rushes (20, 2, 7). Singletary and the D put the breaks on Eric Dickerson, holding him to 22 carries for -11 yards. Singletary picked off three Trudeau passes as the Bears forced the Colts to punt 7 times. The Bears ended a Colts drive late in the 4th Quarter and the McMahon to Gault 13 yarder with 3 seconds left but the Bears up 49-0. It appeared that would do it as the Colts kick returner Albert Bentley was not the most premier kick returner. The Bears were celebrating on the sideline as Bentley marched upfield, somehow breaking three tackles and eluding a tackle from Butler. Bentley broke two more tackles and to the horror of the Bears fans and special teams coach was able to avoid getting tackled at the 10 to take the kickoff 103 yards for a TD as time expired! Unreal. The Bears had only given up 6 points until the last second of the game until a miracle type return by the Colts made the final score 49-7. The Bears were excited to get revenge on the Colts but certainly steaming mad about the ending and vow revenge on the Colts next season.

On the season, the Bears outscore their opponents 698-13. That’s a 25 point improvement over last year, while giving up 13 less points. Pretty good, but again, a few tackles away from going through the season with a shutout.

However we’ll leave it up to you guys to vote on the Bears MVP for the season. Is it:

Mike Singletary
58 INTs (10 in one game)
2 INTs for TD.

Dennis Gentry
4 opening kickoff returns for a TD

Jim McMahon
65 TDS
5 INTs
2 TD runs

Willie Gault
45 TD Receptions

Walter Peyton
27 TD rushes
3 TD receptions

Dave Duerson
8 INTs in one game

Vote now by posting your comments to this article!

Nintendo Night December 30, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, nintendo, sports, video games.
3 comments

So last night I regressed about 20 years. I sat and played a whole season of Tecmo Bowl. Yes Tecmo Bowl. Nintendo. Lemme ‘splain.

I got a Yobo for xmas. Yobo is a new age Nintendo system that plays all of the old nintendo games. It’s a top loading system and miraculously plays the games without much trouble. No more blowing the cartridge. Or cotton swabs with rubbing alcohol. And the controller is rounded instead of square so you don’t get the calluses inside your hands from playing too long. It’s a Christmas miracle that this was developed!! Good thing I held onto my old Nintendo games like Ice Hockey, Double Dribble, Zelda, Super Mario 1, 2 and 3, Blades of Steel, Contra, Tetris…list goes on and on. I’d rather play any of my old nintendo games than any new gaming system like PS3 or Xbox 360. Yes, I know, the graphics don’t compare, but the game play back then was much simplier. I mean how much easier does it get to play Contra, a game that had great graphics and intense play. To play that now, you would need to hold left trigger, X, Y, Turbo, right thumbstick to the left, left hand on blue, all just to shoot your gun. Needless to say I’m a gaming purist, so this Yobo was like my favorite gift ever (well, except when I got Nintendo the first time many moons ago).

Anyway, without missing a beat, I tried to plow through Tecmo Bowl with the Bears. The 1989 Bears. With Walter Payton, Jim McMahon, Willie Gault, Richard Dent, Fridge Perry, Mike Singletary. My goal was to try to sweep through the season without giving up a point. A bit ambitious considering I hadn’t played in quite a while. But without further adieu here are the results and summary of each game:

Game 1: Bears vs. 49ers. The 49ers never get past midfield as Singletary notches 7 INTs. Complete blowout as Joe Montana, Jerry Rice and Roger Craig were overwhelmed. Final score 77-0.

Game 2: Bears vs. Vikings. Vikings never get past midfield either. 6 more Singletary INTs. Last second 54 yard FG by Kevin Butler as time expires makes the final score 73-0.

Game 3: Bears vs. Giants. Everyone who plays Tecmo knows 2 things. 1) the opponents get tougher (faster) each week. 2) Lawrence Taylor can block any FG or extra point. Plus through in a tough Joe Morris at RB and Mark Bavaro at TE and this should be a minor challenge right? The Giants broke midfield once, they got to the Bears 49 and no further. Taylor does block an extra point, which keeps the Bears from hitting 70 again. Final score, 69-0.

Game 4: Bears vs. Cowboys. My favorite team was no match for Da Bears. Hershel Walker was held in check all game. The Cowboys do get as far as the Bears 35 yard line, but a Singletary tackle on 4th and inches stops the drive and any chance for the Cowboys to score. Final score, 63-0.

Game 5: Bears vs Dolphins. 1972 Dolphins went undefeated, and they celebrate each time a team these days fails to equal their feat. The 1985 Bears almost went undefeated as these Dolphins tried to stop the 89 Bears from doing the same. Dennis Gentry takes the opening kickoff for a TD to put the Bears up 7-0. It’s all Bears until Marino hits Duper for a long TD pass (Singletary just missed the INT and tackle). Marino catches fire and sets up a Lorenzo Hampton 1 yard TD run on 3rd and goal to break the Bears scoreless streak. Pissed off, Gentry returns the ensuing kickoff for his 2nd kickoff return for a TD of the game. Marino, Duper, clayton and company were shut down from there. Singletary ices the game with a 40 yard TD INT return as time expires. Final score, 63-6.

Game 6: Bears vs Broncos. After losing their bid to plow through the season without given up a point, the Bears took their frustration out on John Elway and his “three amigos” (Jackson, Johnson and Nattiel). The Broncos get no further than the Bears 48 as the Bears decide to eat up some clock with Walter Peyton. Bears blitz John Elway and nearly sack him for a safety twice. Bears score 14 points in each quarter. Final score, 56-0.

Game 7: Bears vs. Colts. These Colts are certainly not the Peyton Manning colts. They rely heavily on their workhouse Eric Dickerson. Jack Trudeau is the QB and he has a popgun arm. So the Bears were ready for run, run, run. The Colts don’t disappoint and go 3 and out with Dickerson numerous times as Dickerson didn’t have a single run for positive yardage. He did have 2 screen passes for 3 yards. He probably had -30 yards rushing thanks to a Bears blitzkreig. Trudeau goes on to throw 5 passes (2 to Dickerson) and the other 3 end up in the hands of Singletary. Dennis Gentry gets many punt return opportunities, but can’t break one. Bears put together long drives all game which holds the scoring output down. However they explode for a 21 point 4th Quarter. Final score, 56-0.

Game 8: Bears vs. Seahawks. Bears visit Dave Kreig and Steve Largent and Curt Warner (the black RB not the white QB). The unsung hero for Seattle is their kick returner Edmonds, who breaks a few long kickoff returns to put Seattle in scoring position. However the Bears shut down the offense from there as the Seahawks only get one first down all game. Warner is held to negative rushing yards. McMahon throws his first INT as the Bears were driving. Butler kicks a 47 yard FG as time expires to complete 24 point 4th Quarter. Final score, 66-0.

Game 9: Divisional Playoff Game: Bears vs. Browns. Cleveland and their stingy defense are next up for the Bears. Bernie Kosar is at QB with Reggie Langhorne, Webster Slaughter and Ozzie Newsome at WR. Kevin Mack is the tough RB. Tough team to play late in the game. The Browns blitz all game as the Bears have to take short yardage each time. The Browns take away Peyton and Gault so McMahon is forced to lean on Cap Boso (TE) and Ron Morris (WR) over the middle as he was under pressure all game. Boso catches 4 TDs for a career day. Reggie McNeil proves to be a key weapon returning kicks for the Browns. One of his long returns sets up a Kosar to Langhorn 34 yard TD pass, the second score the Bears allow this season. The Browns play strong, but the Bears are too much. Final score, 49-7.

Game 10: Divisional Championship Game: Bears vs. Redskins. Doug Williams and the “Fun Bunch” (Monk, Clark and Didier) are a tough passing team. Timmy Smith is the unsung RB, however the strength of this Redskins team is their defense led by Dexter Manley and Darrell Green. The Bears are looking to roll after a tough game vs. the Browns. They shut down the running game once again as Timmy Smith runs for negative yards. The Skins D plays tough, but Peyton and Gault are able to break free for some big plays. Doug Williams has some success in the air, but Singletary is a ball hawk as usual. The Redskins have a chance to score in the 3rd Quarter, but Singletary picks off Williams on the 1 yard line. The Bears take the next drive 95 yards capped off by a Peyton TD rush. Peyton also breaks off a TD as time expires as the Bears roll. Final score, 56-0.

Game 11: TECMO BOWL. Bears vs Raiders. The Black and Blue vs the Silver and Black. Bo Jackson. Marcus Allen. The Raiders running game is one of the unstoppable forces in Tecmo Bowl. The Bears play them at their toughest, in the Tecmo Bowl. The Bears haven’t allowed positive yards on the ground all season but know the Jackson and Allen are capable of breaking the big one on every play. Schroeder is the QB and has Tim Brown and Todd Christensen to make plays through the air. Clearly the Bears toughest test. The one chink in the armor for the Raiders? Their pass defense. The Bears open with a long scoring drive capped off by a Willie Gault TD to go up 7-0. A Schroeder INT leads to another McMahon to Gault strike, 14-0. Butler tackles Tim Brown on the Raiders 15 on the kickoff. However Marcus Allen breaks through the hole on the 1st play of the drive, going 85 yards untouched to make the score 14-7. The Bears recover quickly and put together a long drive as McMahon finds Gault yet again to make the score 21-7. Schroeder throws an INT as the Bears however McMahon throws an INT on the ensuing possession (his second of the season). The Bears capitalize as Bo Jackson gets in on the fun, ripping off a 45 yard TD run. However the Bears block the extra point and the score is 21-13 at halftime. The Bears shut down the Raiders on their possession to start the second half and McMahon finds Gault for the 4th time on the next drive to make the score 28-13. The Bears are keyed in on Allen and Jackson on the next drive, and shut down both leading to a 3 and out. McMahon finds Gault for the 5th time on the next drive as the Bears take a 35-13 lead at the end of the 3rd Quarter. Allen breaks a few mini runs on the next possession, but a Schroeder INT ends the drive in Bears territory. McMahon capitalizes by finding (who else) Willie Gault for his 6th TD of the game to put the Bears up 42-13. The Raiders go three and out on their next possession and the Bears get the ball back on their own 18 with 30 seconds left in the 4th Quarter. McMahon drives the team to Raiders territory, and tries to find Gault for a 7th TD catch. However the Raiders have Gault covered, and the Bears settle for a Butler 36 yard FG as time expired to make the final score 45-13.

So in case you’re counting at home, the Bears pitch 8 shutouts on the season and outscore their opponents 673-26. Not bad, but certainly room for improvement. I’ll try again for another sweep, after I play some Tetris, and Zelda and Contra 🙂

Duck Hunt December 1, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in games, nintendo, video games.
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So the game everyone loved from the ole Nintendo…yep the game where it was cool to shoot ducks on the screen with a gun (funny how Nintendo is back to making sticks to interact with games…how long ago did Duck Hunt come out???) is now available on your PC. Without a controller. Just use your mouse and that’s it.

If it doesn’t work here, you can go to http://www.gamereign.net/flash/duckhunt.swf

Sit back and enjoy.

All along I thought it was "Some Puerto Rican Guy"… August 18, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, critique, humor, nintendo, video.
2 comments

So with all this fury about John Mark Karr and if he did/didn’t kill JonBenet Ramsey it made me think of the South Park episode where Butters’ mother tries to kill Butters by driving the car with him in it into a lake and then tells the police “Some Puerto Rican Guy” killed his son after Butters disappears. This was followed by OJ Simpson, the Ramsey Parents and Gary Condit (Chandra Levy “killer”) all coming out in the media to blame their accused deaths on “Some Puerto Rican Guy”.

If you didn’t see the episode it’s probably in the top 10 South Park episodes of all time. You can read a great synpopsis of the episode here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butters’_Very_Own_Episode

Anyway, just taking a look at this guy’s picture you can tell he’s not guilty.
All his “mug shots” all over the papers had like the perfect lighting on his face. His poses were very contrived, almost like he was mugging for the camera (if you haven’t seen, just pick up a paper…any paper in the last 2 days and take a look). If not here’s one of the photos that ran in today’s Post:

This guy seems like he’s an out of work actor who’s just itching to play the part of JonBenet’s killer in the ABC afterschool miniseries about abduction. Plus we know the rule of any killer with three names is definitely innocent. Don’t believe me? Well you shouldn’t. Although John Wilkes Booth didn’t really kill Lincoln…it was another actor playing his part. And James Earl Ray didn’t kill MLK (that one is more believable). And Lee Harvey Oswald didn’t kill JFK. The list goes on and on.

Anyway, this just smells like total B.S. Plus wouldn’t this guy wait like 20, 30 years to confess, when he’s too old to put in jail so they just put him on house arrest? Maybe that’s just me. But I still am willing to bet that 3 years from now, he’s starring in the made-for-TV movie of this case.

That’s just my two cents. To leave you on a fun note…here’s a link to me knocking out Glass Joe in Mike Tyson’s PunchOut. Enjoy your weekend!