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My Big Fat Greek New Year’s January 4, 2008

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in dancing, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, restaurant, video.

Firstly happy New Year’s too all! Hope the holiday season treated you all well.

My New Year’s Eve was very entertaining. The night started with some drinks and appetizers and led to a restaurant in Astoria (which I hold off from mentioning in case they decide to send us a bill). Let’s just say (without naming names) that three out of the six of us got a little sick (not me) in the restaurant bathroom, leading two out of the six to leave the restaurant shortly after appetizers arrived.

Anyway, sparing you all of the sickly details, the rest of the evening was actually pretty entertaining, despite the fact that we knew no one else in the restaurant and apparently everyone else there knew each other or knew the waitresses and owners. So it basically felt like we were crashing someone’s wedding, especially since most patrons were dressed in suits and dresses (and we were their white trash cousins dressed in sweaters and jeans). There was live music with an acoustic guitar duo singing traditional Greek folk songs and eventually some of the restaurant patrons started dancing to said traditional Greek folk songs which led to more Greek traditions. But before I get into that let me just rave about the food for a moment.

The food was exceptional and arrived in droves. A greek salad arrived alongside shrimp that was placed in a phyllo pastry puff, a plate of grilled sausage and marinated meatballs. Unfortunately it was already 10:30pm by the time apps had arrived and we wouldn’t see our main courses until well after midnight.

Like 45 minutes after midnight.

However despite our stomachs on revolt and the novelty of making noise with party favors wore off, the main courses didn’t disappoint. We were treated to lamb, shrimp and steak. Being that this was authentic greek, I went straight for the lamb which was tender and juicy. Forgoing knife and fork, I grabbed said chop in my grubby paws and went to town (my apologies for the shitty pics my camera phone took).



Shortly after stuffing our face with meaty goodness out came the dessert. Needless to say I was all over the baklava.

During dinner and dessert is when the dancing started. It was entertaining watching everyone dance around in circles, with their arms held high snapping their fingers.

But then the most unexpected thing happened (which I later found out was another Greek tradition). Some of the men in the restaurant started making it rain (the clip above and the two below are videos – click to play).

I found out that throwing money around is a way to garner wealth and prosperity in the coming year.

Granted these guys were only throwing wads of singles in the air, but by the time we were ready to leave there had to be a few hundred dollars worth of singles on the floor.

Crazy times. Those greeks know how to party!

Dancin Fool June 1, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, comedy, common sense, critique, current events, dancing, fashion, funny, humor, music, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, sarcasm, signs, stupidity, television, video, world news.

Before I begin…a big asshole of the day goes to the lady who blatently cut me off on the way up the stairs getting off the 6 train at 33rd street this morning. Not only did she cut me off when there was no one behind me. She then proceeded slowly up the stairs in the middle of the stairway so I could neither pass her left or right. Then when she got to the top of the stairs, she was confused about where she was so she just stopped and stood there while I almost plowed into her. Then she shuffled her feet slowly in the same direction I was heading. Thanks lady…so glad you cut me off only to not know where the fuck you’re going. Smart move.

Anyway…today is Friday…which is casual Friday in my office. So that means you can wear jeans (no official verdict on whether Hawaiian shirts are allowed). However today I’m breaking the rules. I’m being a rebel. I’m wearing shorts. Yes shorts. Why? Because why should guys have to suffer wearing collared shirts and pants why girls get to wear next to nothing on hot summer days. Like it’s fair that I have to sweat my ass off in pants on a 90 degree day while some girl gets to wear a wife beater and a loose skirt. As Al Bundy would say…No Ma’am! Granted some may say they don’t want to see a guy’s flabby arms and hairy legs…and girls are much better to look at. But I have nice legs…so why shouldn’t I be able to show them off too? Plus there’s next to no ventilation in this office so I’d be a much more productive employee at a cooler temperature rather then having to worry about sweating through my shirt and pants. So today, shorts it is unless someone has the guts to tell me otherwise. I think I smell a reform in the workplace coming on. Men of the world UNITE!

So I was shocked to see that Akeelah didn’t win the spelling bee last night. I knew it was rigged! But I got home in time to watch the last finalists duke it out. Here’s one of the last contestants getting bounced from the competition (or go to the Blogger version of this site to view the following videos):


And here’s the eventual champion spelling his final word for the title.


Although if you didn’t see it, the new champion, Evan O’Dorney gave one of the worst post winning interviews ever. Granted he was probably in shock. But Stuart Scott asked him what prepared him for this competition. And the kid, stumbling with a “just going through puberty like any teenage boy would voice” was like…umm…i like math…and the construction of math equations helped me learn how to break down words. It was painful to listen too. I actually turned the TV off. Poor kid. But congrats to him. You’re now gonna be forever known as that Spelling Bee kid. Good luck getting your ass kicked in High School…see how fast you can spell wedgie.

The other painful TV moment last night came during Do You Think You Can Dance. I flipped through the channels just in time to see this doozy of an audition:


Um…yeah…she got moves that’s for sure. She put Chris Brown too shame fa shizzle for nizzle. Although what you missed in this clip was Shane (one of the judges) saying…Do you know this competition? Do you know what we’re looking for? The girl shook her head no. We’re looking for athletic dancers. Not overweight dancers. You’re gonna get killed on this show.

Ouch…brutually honest. Had this been American Idol there would have been a huge uproar. But since no one is watching Think You Can Dance, I’m sure not a peep will be made. Not even from the Fat Persons of America Coalition. But definitely a very “holy crap did he just say that” TV moment right there. Good stuff.

Anyway, it’s Friday. The weekend is here. Time to slather on that tanning oil or SPF 2000 and soak up some rays…and some alcohol! Remember, as this sign says:

Your liver is evil and must be destroyed!

Enjoy your weekend everyone

Southern Hospitality May 29, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, critique, dancing, eating, food, humor, opinion, photos, pictures, rachel ray, restaurant, television, travel, video.

So spent my weekend in rootin’ tootin’ Nashville. Cool city – fun filled and action packed. We had our Field & Stream Total Outdoorsman Challege at Bass Pro Shops in Nashville on Saturday so that was entertaining watching these guys compete. Unfortunately didn’t get a chance to visit Graceland to bust out my Elvis impersonation, but an Elvis impersonator did come into the bar on Saturday night. Although he was wearing a red plaid jacket. I turned my head to the group I was standing with and said “Elvis didn’t wear plaid, did he?” Need to investigate that a bit more.

We stayed at this 5 star hotel called The Hermitage. Awesome place. Everything in the place was treated with white glove service, right from the top hat and coat tailed bellhops to the marble encased bathroom counter and floors. The lobby was exquisite with a huge arched ceiling and chandeliers galore.

The lobby of the Hermitage

The bedroom was awesome as well, with a king sized bed with at least 800 tread count silk bedsheets and soft down comforter and pillows. The bathroom was huge as well, with a sunken tub and separate glass doored standing shower. They even had a separate room for the toilet. Yep, a separate little room. Cool stuff. Just an awesome hotel all around and just a few blocks from downtown Nashville. And affordable too…my room rate was only $249 a night (which for a 5 star hotel is really good!)

The down comforter and silken bed sheets await

I happened to grab dinner at the hotel one night at their bar (The Oak Bar). I of course went for the traditional Fried Green Tomatoes which were outstanding. They looked and tasted just like crab cakes. Delicate enough to cut with a fork but meaty enough to withstand the breading I can tell you “FGT” is definitely worth all of the hype!

Just like the watching movie, I cried tears of joy eating some Fried Green Tomatoes

I also treated myself to some Fried Quail in a Jack Daniels demi-glaze. It tasted like a sweet and sour fried chicken – unreal. The bartender said their fried quail dish is their answer to chicken wings down there. I’d have to agree. I think I would’ve eaten the bone if it was edible – it was that tasty! Paired with a local brew called Yazoo – and you had yourself a great dinner worthy of a Rachel Ray Yum-O (more on her in a bit).

We went out on Broadway in Nashville on Saturday night, which is almost like a Carson City meets Times Square meets the Vegas strip. It’s basically a three block radius filled with bright lights, street performers and bars galore. Downtown Nashville is hoping on a weekend night, with most of the bars having long waits just to enter. Each bar has their own band playing and for the most part they are no-frills kind of places with people drinking, dancing, hootin and hollerin as the band cranks out country rock and blues classics. We visited both Lola’s Bluegrass Inn and The Stage in Nashville. Both places were hoppin but The Stage was truly packed. There must have been 300-400 people jammed in their. Looked like a Frat house party with an open pit of people rocking away and a balcony for those who wanted to oversee the action from above. Although I’m disappointed we didn’t hit any Honky Tonk bars so didn’t get to see any line dancing or any boot scootin booging going on. But nonetheless, I’d definitely recommend visiting Nashville if you’re looking to spend a fun weekend away.

The Stage in Downtown Nashville

And about that whole stereotype about people marrying young in the South. I had known it has existed but to see it first hand was eye-opening. Literally everyone over the age of 18 was married down there. The 24 year old worker at Bass Pro Shops was upset that it took her that long to get married since she looks “old now”. Are you kidding? Then again compared to everyone else who was married down there she did look old. Out at the bar there was a bachelorette party. The bride to be was maybe 21 at most. All of her bridesmaids were around the same age as well. Not one of them didn’t have an engagement or wedding ring on their finger! Unreal. I’d feel bad for anyone over the age of 25 who was single down there. It would probably mean you’ve either been divorced, widowed or you’re really the runt of the litter. It’s like in Kindergarten they tell you: Ok Billy Bob, you’re gonna marry Peggy Sue when you turn 18. Or else no grits for you. Understood mister? Crazy stuff especially coming from the Northeast where people by and large wait till they’re at least old enough to drink before we get married.

Anyway, back to Rachel Ray. Came across this hilarious video on YouTube of a montage of Rachel Ray from $40 a day. The video is cut closely so it shows her “orgasming” on camera about the food she’s eating. Pretty funny stuff if you have 2 minutes to spare while you spill your Chinese food all over your keyboard during lunch.

View Rachel Ray’s “orgasm”

Lady…it wouldn’t kill ya… May 24, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in American Idol, asshole of the day, common sense, critique, current events, dancing, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, racquetball, random references, sarcasm, stupidity, subways.

So last night I got on the uptown 4 train at Bowling Green and at Wall St. this rather “weighty” (to say it politely) lady sat next to me. She sat down with a bag of McDonalds on her lap and starting eating. At this point I was starving having just played racquetball for almost 2 hours so the smell of fries and burgers was making my stomach grumble. She opens the bag and I peer in. She had like 4 quarter pounders with cheese and an overflowing portion of fries. I tried not to stare as she devoured fries and burgers.

Anyway, at 14th street, a very skinny and sickly looking homeless man came onto the train looking for some change or food. I actually had no bills smaller than $20 lest I would have given him some change. The lady, seeing that the man was approaching, stuffed a hunk of burger in her mouth and rolled up her bag of McDonald’s. Not sure if the guy saw her or not but as he politely asked her if she could spare some change or food, she shook her head no as she tried to chew her food slowly. The guy stared at her for a few seconds and then walked away.

I mean really…lady…it wouldn’t kill you to spare one of the burgers in your bag. Unless you were bringing it home for your family…which it appeared that you weren’t, I think you could’ve done without an extra cheeseburger. I mean I’m sure the 2,000 calories you already downed with the burgers and fries didn’t come close to filling you up. But if you ever even complained about being fat…well…now you know why.

I looked at her in disbelief and disgust. A guy across from me looked at me and shook his head and we smiled. Cause he was thinking the same thing I was. You fucking fat ass…spare a fucking cheeseburger… (at least I think that’s what he was thinking – it was what I was thinking). Anyway, its a good thing I had my “inner voice” working lest I would have created a messy situation. And that wouldn’t have been good.

Anyway, been stuck in a land of work today so many apologies for the late blog. That and I’m heading to Nashville tomorrow for a work event. Maybe I’ll run into my girl Gretchen and she can show me a rootin tootin good time down there! Although I’ll need to download some country onto my iPod to get me caught up on the latest country hits. And I may have to have Bridget give me some quick line dancing lessons. I wouldn’t want to be the only one not doing the “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” at the bar!

“Oh get down, turn around go to town boot scootin’ boogie”

Anyway…sorry for the short and sweet post for now…I’ll try to give y’all something good before we hit the holiday weekend!

Oh and btw…about American Idol…TOLD YOU SO! America loves a crier!

Ultimate Shower Songs…Part Deux April 17, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, critique, dancing, funny, humor, music, opinion, photos, pictures, random references, shower, shower songs, top blog candidate.

Ok…because many of you have asked for a new list, and it’s been nearly a year since the last list was “published”, it’s time for The Ultimate Shower Songs, Part Deux!

To those new to the blog, please view last year’s Ultimate Shower Songs list.

For those who have been faithful followers of this blog since day 1 and have waited almost a year for a new list, without further adieu, here’s part two of the best songs to sing in the shower (in no particular order):

Say, Say, Say. “Say” what you want about it, you know you love this duet between Sir Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson. It’s a good “warm up” song in the shower since McCartney’s vocals are pretty mellow and easy to replicate. Once your vocal chords are raring to go it’s time to rip into Michael’s part: “What can I do, I’m so in love with you…baby! Eee heee”. Gotta love Michael in his bas ass years!

McCartney and Jackson team up to produce a great shower song for you

Other good Michael Jackson songs to sing in the shower are Billie Jean, The Way You Make Me Feel, Man in the Mirror and Pretty Young Thing. Actually most Michael Jackson songs are great shower songs. I’m gonna go ahead and give him a lifetime Shammy achievement award! Congrats Michael, well deserved.

Don’t Know Much. Once you’ve exhausted yourself with Michael, you can mellow it down with some Aaron Neville. For those who have the vocal range you can also sing the Linda Ronstadt parts of the song. But Neville is relatively easy to sing in the shower thanks to his nasal-like tone. Plus it’s a good warm up for singing Neville’s famous cotton commercial. You know the one: “The touch, the feel of cot-tin. It’s the fab-rick of our lives.”

On The Wings of Love. Staying on the mellow theme, and because you just saw one of those Time-Life infomercials at 1 in the morning with the 100 greatest love songs, this smash by Jeffrey Osbourne is sure to eat up some of the hot water in your building. Plus the deep, resonating vocals bounce off the shower walls nicely. Although similar to Caribbean Queen, all you know is the hook of the song so that’s all you sing over and over again. You know, “On the wings of love, only the two of us together flying high. Flying high, on the wings of love”.

The smooth stylings of Jeffrey Osbourne lend itself to good shower singing material, even if you only know two lines of the song

Another song you only know the hook to is Never Gonna Let You Go by Sergio Mendes. So that’s all you sing over and over again. You know the words. “I’m never gonna let you go. I’m gonna hold you in my arms forever. Gonna try and make up for the times I hurt you so. Gonna hold your body close to mine. From this day on we’re gonna be together. Oh, I swear this time. I’m never gonna let you go”. Awesome stuff. Just awesome. Good song to extend your stay in the shower to.

For those itching for the summer months you can bust out a little Cruel Summer by Bananarama. “It’s a cruel (cruel) cruel summer. Leaving me here on my own”. Good stuff. You know you even hum the instrumental riff of the song. Very feel good shower song to get you ready for tanning season (or to make you feel bad about how white you are going into beach season as you wash your body). Other good “summer” songs are Summer Girls by LFO, Summer Wind by Sinatra and Summertime by DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince. Although don’t readily admit you know the lyrics to Summer Girls by LFO…could be condusive to having your ass beat in some corners of the earth (more on songs that could get your ass beat later).

Other good songs to get you in the mood for good weather are Break My Stride by Men at Work (also sung by Matthew Wilder). “Ain’t nothing gonna break-a my stride, ain’t nothing gonna slow me down – oh no – got to keep on movin”. (Although please don’t sing the Puff Daddy version. Or anything by Puffy for that matter. As they say in my hood, he’s a “beat biter – a Pac style taker – I’ll tell it to (his) face he ain’t shit but a faker”). Getting Jiggy With It by Will Smith and This is How We Do It by Montell Jordan also are prime songs for getting in a “good mood” for nice weather. Plus if you do the Getting Jiggy With It dance while rinsing, you’ll be able to wash off the soap that is trapped between your rolls of fat. If you have rolls of fat of course.

Perhaps the most underrated Shower Song band is U2. Largely because everyone knows the lyrics to most of their songs and their style is very condusive to shower singing. With or Without You is a particularly great shower song, especially that section where Bono kicks it up a notch. “I can’t liiiiive. With or without you…..oh oh oh oh”. Great stuff. It’s the kinda song you want people down the hallway to hear you sing. Another great U2 shower song is One. “Love is a temple, love the higher love”. Powerful. Good song to pause whatever you’re doing in the shower to belt out the lyrics.

Congrats, U2! You’ve earned a Shammy for achieving greatness in shower song music

Back to the mellow stuff (and because the Time-Life commercial just popped in your head again). When I See You Smile by John Waite is a great shower song to sing, especially if you just scored a big hookup the night before. Plus this song helps you score bonus points if you’re trying to impress upon your live-in girlfriend or the hooker you let sleep over last night. Nothing puts a “smile” on a girl’s face like hearing “When I see you smile. I can face the world. Oh you know I can do anything”. Although if you’re living with another dude you may not want to bust this one out for fear that the gaydar would go off the charts.

Speaking of off the charts gaydar, other songs not to sing if you have a male roommate around include anything by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Especially Sherri or Big Girls Don’t Cry. So what if you just saw the promo for “Jersey Girls” for the hundredth time, Valli’s songs should only be sung by those without any males within earshot (unless they happen to be musical theater or broadway actors – then you’re ok). If you choose to try the high notes of Sherri baby you best be comfortable with your own masculinity!

Other songs to avoid with a male around are A Whole New World by Peabo Bryson. So what if you watched Aladdin with your niece for the 50th time, singing this song is grounds for getting your ass beat by your roommate if he hears you singing it. Even if the vocals sound cool in the shower, sing this one at your own risk. Same goes for Let’s Give Them Something To Talk About by Bonnie Raitt. Although while you may get mocked and beaten by other males for singing it in the shower, you know damn well that after they’re done insulting your manhood minutes later they start humming the lyrics to themselves. Even if they won’t admit it, they should. The song is catchy.

Bonnie’s got your back if any male gives you shit for singing her songs

If you need to restore some of your male pride and save face, some good songs to turn to in the shower are Pearl Jam’s Jeremy, Creed’s My Own Prison, Metallica’s Enter Sandman and Nirvana’s Rape Me. Although you may wanna stay away from Rape Me if your male roommate recently completed a stint in prison.

On topic, songs to avoid if you’re trying not to violate parole for child molestation include anything referencing teenage girls, such as I Saw Her Standing There by the Beatles. Singing “She was just 17 you know what I mean” may be tough to justify. Although in your defense you can say you were just at a game at the Garden since that’s a MSG favorite (not so much for the she was just 17 part as much as the: “She wouldn’t dance with another…OOOOOOO” part that everyone belts out in harmony at once).

Another song to be weary of if you’re a convicted child molester is Into The Night by Benny Mardones. Why you ask? Um, how bout the lyrics:

“She’s just sixteen years old, Leave her alone, they say….But I want you to know, If I could fly, I’d pick youuuuuu up. I’d take you into the night, And show you a love…like you’ve neverrrrr seen. Ever seen”.

If that doesn’t scream child molestation/child prostitution I don’t know what does! Although it won’t stop me from singing it in the shower simply because it sounds cool acoustically. The lyrics invoke passion and are souful, despite the messaging.

Much to his dismay, and his smash hit, Benny Mardones has been placed on most child molester watch lists

That completes this list of the Ultimate Shower Songs, Part Deux. Feel free to comment on your own personal favorites and let the debate begin!

Poor number thirteen April 13, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, current events, dancing, funny, humor, opinion, random references, religion, video, weird, world news.

Ah…the number thirteen.



Δέκα τρία



However you say it, the number thirteen has long been considered “unlucky” by most. Most buildings forgo the thirteenth floor. There’s no number 13 horse in horse racing. There’s even a fear of the number 13, Triskaidekaphobia. The number 13 might as well be the red headed, freckled kid at a grade school dance.

If the number 13 was a person, it would most likely be a “ginger”

So as we exist here on this Friday the 13th, I’m happy to say 13 is my favorite number. Like my favorite basketball players Chris Mullin and Mark Jackson, I wear 13 on my jerseys when I play any type of sport. I always play 13 in the lotto (not that I ever win of course). I love the “bakers dozen” (who doesn’t love getting an extra bagel or donut!). But honestly I don’t know why people have such a fixation with the number that prevents them from embracing it.

Obviously there’s some cultural, religious and historical significance behind the number that would invoke fear in some and hope in others. Actually there’s much more to the number 13 than I thought. Check out the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/13_(number) for a detailed listing of 13’s significance throughout history.

Anyway, why is this important? Well it’s not. Just felt like saying the number 13 gets a bad rap sometimes. That’s all. I know it was an awkward age for many…especially boys because that’s when puberty starts to set in. That and for us jewish kids, 13 is barmitzvah time, which is a train wreck in and of itself. But for others, don’t be a playa-hater. Embrace the number 13. Love it. Cherish it. Enjoy it. Make love to it. (Okay, maybe that’s going too far, but you get the point!)

Anyway, it’s Friday so we should have some fun before the weekend. Some of you may have seen these “unlucky” moments before, but I actually haven’t seen most of these clips. It’s really funny and good for a cheap laugh or two. And who couldn’t use a cheap laugh?


What’s it with white people and wedding dances??? March 1, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in dancing, video, weddings.

Btw…what’s it with white people and dancing at weddings. I’m not talking about regular “wedding song” dances as previously covered in this blog back on July 1st: http://whatpushesmybuttons.blogspot.com/2006_07_01_archive.html. I’m talking about fully choreographed wedding “dances” that seem to be all the rage these days. I mean I know everyone signs up for those cheezy dance lessons where they spent $1,000 to learn how to cha-cha or tango and they pull off one “spin” move that draws raves like they just pulled off a triple axle-triple toe loop combo from the crowd. You know what i’m talking about…no offense to my friends of course.

But those little dances are nothing compared to what’s being done now. I mean I thought the groom getting carried around the dance floor to “I did it all for the nookie” at one wedding a went to was bad enough but check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYhlm9GTAQ0

Are you kidding me? First of all I worked at Kutsher’s. I’m all about the dirty dancing since Kutsher’s and the catskills hotels are what the movie was based off of (the jewish hotels are in the catskills for those viewing “internationally”). Anyway you can tell that the guy is in this more than the girl by his facial reactions. I mean dude, look in a mirror, Patrick Swayze you’re not. Good try though wearing all black. I love the look on his face when he does “the jump” with 2:50 to go. What a spaz. What he get, one centimeter off the ground? Pussy. Plus have you seen anyone dance more awkward. Really. And the part with the “backup dancers”. The guy in the white shirt was obviously a better dancer than the groom and the girl in the blue skirt is a bit too animated. And that flying hold. What’s the matter? Can’t hold her yourself? Please. What a pansy. If you’re gonna do it, do it right. Wait is that the groom kissing all the guys? (:30 seconds to go). Is he gay? Did he just give one of the guys tongue??? Has he kissed the bride at all? Hmm. I think we may have a gay groom folks, breakup at 11. I guess if i was really, really really drunk I’d semi-enjoy this whole recreation in person, and I’ll give them a point on “originality”. But -10 points for being dofuses. Especially since he looked like he was dressed like a bartender.

Apparently this clip came from VH1’s Best Week Ever: http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/02/28/yet-another-couple-who-makes-us-want-to-kill-ourselves/ I couldn’t agree more.

Second video is even “better” in my opinion, simply because the groom is even more animated than the couple in the dirty dancing video. Actually the groom kind of looks like Paul? Hmm.

This clip too was courtesy of Best Week Ever http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/01/31/propped-zombie-wedding-absolutely-terrifying/

You have to sit through the 1st minute to get to the dancing. But I don’t know what’s more pathetic. That this groom is being all serious about it (look at his face the whole time!). Or that they took the time to rehearse it. With 1:04 left he’s singing the song. Out loud. Oh my god, it is Paul (sorry Paul I could see you doing this though). Especially with how animated he is. I’ll give them a few bonus points for choreography but -10 points for not dancing with the red studded vest on. If you’re gonna do thriller, do it right dammit.

But what bothers me about both these clips is that the people thought they were the best dancers since Fred Astaire. And now thanks to the instant glorification YouTube gives you, their false confidence is even more inflated since “millions” of people can now view them. Stupid YouTube. It’s crap like this that makes Americans so unproductive in the workplace. At least it’s giving me some good blogging fodder! (kudos to Deanene for the sending along the two videos above).

Ultimate Shower Songs May 12, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, critique, dancing, funny, humor, music, opinion, random references, shower, shower songs, top blog candidate.

So before I begin… This morning Bridget & I had a “Trainspotting Celebrity Sighting”. No not the movie. We saw a James Van Der Beek look-a-like. Dawson in the flesh. Complete with parted floppy blond hair and untucked button down shirt. His version of Joey was there too, albeit she was blond. But they argued. Separated for a bit. But then came together with an embrace. Why is this funny? No reason, except for that Bridget and I started humming the Dawson Creek theme song out loud… You know the one. “I don’t wanna wait, for my life to be over….do do do do”. Followed by my impersonation of the WB announcer saying ”on the next Dawson’s Creek.”

Anyway, so I know everyone’s done this at least once in their lives in the shower. No not that…not that there’s anything wrong with it (it’s completely sanitary and it washes away!) I’m talking about singing in the shower. You lose all inhibition and belt out your favorite, and often embarrassing, songs. Doesn’t matter how high/low key the song is, the shower is the ultimate recording studio. Everything sounds perfect to your ears. Maybe the water in our ears makes us tone deaf. But it’s definitely true. I’ve stayed in the shower a few extra minutes just to belt out a few tunes.

So this got me thinking, what are the best songs to sing in the shower? Obviously you don’t want one that requires too much movement and dancing, lest you want to slip and fall and break your leg like Brian Leetch on a patch of ice outside your home.

So being curious I did a google search on Ultimate Shower Songs. And wouldn’t you know I wasn’t disappointed. Although I don’t really agree with the list on this site, here’s the link:

Another search on songs to sing in the shower yielded:

Anyway, enough with what other people think. Here are some songs I think are the ultimate shower classics. Feel free to post your comments and I’ll add them to the list.

(In no particular order with side comments on why you should/already have sung this song in the shower)

Tempted by the Fruit of Another by Squeeze? The whole “fruit” thing… Being naked…..whatever. It’s one of your favorite guilty pleasure songs from the Reality Bites soundtrack)

Since You’ve Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. Solely because no one can hear you shrieking a high key above the water. And no one can make fun of you when you know all of the words. And when you jump up and down during the chorus. (Again, not that there’s anything wrong with this). Actually Kelly Clarkson is becoming quite a good shower singing artist… They should give her a “Shammy” for that (Shower Grammy for those slow on the uptake).

Open Arms by Journey. To show off your sensitive side to yourself and your favorite body wash. Plus who doesn’t love Journey. Don’t Stop Believin is another shower worthy classic.

How am I supposed to live without you by Michael Bolton. Actually anything by Michael Bolton sounds good in the shower. The low key mumbling actually sounds cool acoustically in the shower. Not so much for Michael McDonald songs though… Those just sound terrible all the time.

Loving You by Minnie Riperton… It’s the only time in your life you can hit the high F without breaking glass or someone breaking your face with their fist.

Outside by Staind. When you have the ideal temperature in your shower and want to get the most out of the hot water before everyone else in your building uses it. Plus singing Staind makes you sound like a badass. Same goes with any Linkin Park or Fuel song.

Hound Dog by Elvis. Most Elvis songs for that matter. Jailhouse Rock, etc… Just be careful swinging the hips into the shower walls.

Anything by Eminem or Tupac or Biggie or any other rapper. Just because when you screw up every 4th word, you won’t embarrass yourself in front of others. And because cursing is cool in the shower. Makes you feel like a bad ass even if your flabby, untoned body is flailing away everywhere (ok…ok…unnecessary visual – but when have I NOT been one to cross the line with inappropriate comments??)

You should be dancin’ by the Bee Gees. Half for the falsetto voice you need to maintain that sounds smooth in the shower; half because shakin your tailfeather helps you get cleaner.

Do you believe in magic by the Lovin Spoonful. Especially after you caught American Pie last night on cable and Ostriker singing the song in choir practice got stuck in your head.

Light My Fire by the Doors. Great song to get pumped up to for a big night out. Or if you want to burn off all of your chest hair.

Feel like makin love by Bad Company… Another perfect “pregame” song… Or if you have a hot date with the blow up doll you just bought.

Zombie by the Cranberries… Who can resist singing the chorus as loud as you can… “In your heaaaad. In your heeead. Zom bay Zom bay Zom bay bay bay….”

Mr. Jones by Counting Crows. Only because the words are etched in your head from a hazy, pot smoking evening in college. Same goes with Weezer’s Buddy Holly, Champagne Supernova by Oasis and Jeremy by Pearl Jam.

Anything by Ashlee Simpson. Because I mean, this is just too easy. All you have to do is turn on the radio to any song and start singing the lyrics to another song. And then when you realized you fucked up, you can start doing a jig. But seriously, I feel for you Ashlee. I too had the G.E.R.D. And it isn’t pretty.

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. Only because you’re the only one who won’t think you sound like Weird Al Yankovic trying to sing the chorus.

Caribbean Queen by Billy Ocean… Although all you probably know is the two lines in the chorus… So you just sing those over and over again. “Caribbean Queen. Now we’re sharing the same dream. Two hearts that beat like one. No more love on the run.” Awesome. Just awesome. God bless Billy Ocean. Plus it’s an endless debate on how to pronounce Caribbean. Is it Ca- rib- e -in or Carri –be- in? Some mysteries just never go explained.

I’m sure there’s tons of other fun ones….but that’s where your comments come in. Have fun with this one. Post your comments and I’ll add them to the list.