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Finally a bill worth passing! November 12, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, brooklyn, common sense, current events, football, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, politics, sports, world news.
18 comments

Firstly…how bout them Cowboys! Big win for the boys over the weekend knocking off the Giants, who basically spent the last 4 weeks playing Junior Varsity. Glad they finally got knocked back to earth.

Now, onto the news of the day. I read in AM New York this morning that Councilman Simcha Felder from Brooklyn is looking to put a ban on feeding pigeons.

As reported here back in July, pigeons have become bigger and nastier in recent days. I reported that due to steriod based grass fertilizers, pigeons have been on a eating spree, gobbling up as much steriod infused seeds as they can get their beaks on. Also it’s well known that pigeon shit is highly acidic and causes the rotting and decay of our bridges, buildings and infrastructure.


A pigeon performing a “shit and run” in NYC

So this bill would effectively ban all feeding of pigeons. Furthermore the bill calls for the creation of a “pigeon czar to be held accountable for all the city’s pigeon-related complaints”.

Now if the city had any brains at all they’d appoint me pigeon czar. Just give me a shotgun and I’d effectively end the pigeon overpopulation problem for good. And anyone caught feeding a pigeon would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

What would that punishment be? I’d unleash a gang of ugly, unruly pigeons, lock them in the offender’s house or apartment for a week, feeding them nothing but Ex-Lax and Metamusil. I’d lock the violator in the house as well, leaving them to defend themselves against the shit fueled rage that would transpire. Then after the week was up, I’d “humanely execute” all of the pigeons in the house leaving the homeowner to clean up the mess of shit and pigeon carcasses. I bet your bottom dollar that the violator of pigeon law would never, ever feed a pigeon ever again!

If they did violate a second time….they would be met with death. No questions asked.

Think I’m the only one with these thoughts? Think again.

Take a look at the Royal Society for the Preservation of Pigeon Killing, which is better known as KillthePigeons.com

There’s countless stories on this site of how pigeons destroy our every day lives and also reports on the “heros” who help rid the world of pesky pigeons.

Are you sick of pigeons shitting on your new coat the first time you wear it? Are you tired of having to dodge swarms of pigeons on the street as soon as someone so much as feeds them a small piece of bread? Speak up. Support Councilman Felder’s proposal ban on pigeon feeding! Join the cause and let’s keep the damn pigeon population under control!

Ain’t no bagel worth no $1,000 November 8, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in common sense, critique, current events, eating, food, humor, new york city, opinion, stupidity, world news.
31 comments

Na ah. A bagel worth one large? Fuggetaboutit.

But it’s the truth son.

Some fancy pants chef created this so called “$1,000 bagel” using white truffle cream cheese and goji berry infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves. Say what?

The bagel is the brainchild of chef Frank Tujague of The Westin New York hotel. Apparently proceeds from the bagel go to some foundation for aspiring chefs. But regardless could you imagine just asking for a bagel and cream cheese and having to whip out 10 benjamins to pay for it? Grandma Ruthie would have a heart attack. I mean a bagel with lox these days is expensive enough!

But, $1,000 for a bagel is just a drop in the bucket compared to this $25,000 hot chocolate!

Apparently this hot chocolate served at Seredipity (where else) called a “Frrozen Haute Chocolate,” is a mixture of 28 types of cocoas, 14 which apparently are the “most expensive and exotic from around the globe”. I’m sorry, but I didn’t realize there were more exotic brands of hot chocolate than Ghirardelli. Fuck, I don’t think I get much more fancy than the 60 pack of Swiss Miss.

If that’s not enough, the dessert is “infused with 5 grams (0.2 ounces) of edible 23-karat gold and served in a goblet lined with edible gold. At the base of the goblet is an 18-karat gold bracelet with 1 carat of white diamonds. The sundae is topped with whipped cream covered with more gold and a side of La Madeline au Truffle from Knipschildt Chocolatier, which sells for $2,600 a pound.”

Oh and to top it off, “it is eaten with a gold spoon decorated with white and chocolate-colored diamonds, which can also be taken home.”

What the fuck. That shit better give you an instant orgasm in your pants and better get you laid all night…especially after paying $25k for that shit! You know how many women you can get at one time with $25k??? (Wait before you answer that, I forgot that’s not even a drop in the bucket apparently at Scores, where that poor bastard ran up a $250,000 tab a few years back). How the fuck did he do that again?

And I’m sorry…if I’m buying my significant other a bracelet with 1 carat of white diamonds, I sure as hell ain’t covering that shit in any chocolate or whipped cream. Talk about devalueing a piece of jewelry. Do that with a piece of shit piece of jewelry you buy at the mall or at Spencer’s Gifts that ain’t cost more than $1.

Ridiculous. Really. There’s millions of starving people out there, and assholes are buying desserts and bagels for thousands of dollars. No wonder why so many people hate Americans.

Are You ‘Shittin’ Me? November 6, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in bathroom humor, common sense, current events, opinion, pedestrian behavior, stupidity, weird, world news.
17 comments

So thanks to John for this ‘scoop’ today.

Apparently there’s a memo in Florida that was created by a sheriff’s office warning of a new drug called “Jenkem”.

This drug is “a homemade substance which consists of fecal matter and urine. The fecal matter and urine are placed in a bottle or jar and covered most commonly with a balloon. The container is then placed in a sunny area for several hours or days until fermented. The contents of the container will separate and release a gas, which is captured in the balloon. Inhaling the gas is said to have a euphoric high similar to ingesting cocaine but with strong hallucinations of times past”.

Although in doing some research, it looks like (according to Wikipedia), “the first media description of Jenkem came from an Inter Press Service wire report in 1995.”

The smoking gun just got their hands on this memo and posted it on their site.

The Smoking Gun hasn’t found verification of any student actually using the drug but honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. Actually it’s been reported this drug was often used in Germany just before prostitutes took part in shizer videos. Ok I can’t really back that up.

But could you imagine getting high off of a combination of stale feces and urine? No thanks. That smell definitely wouldn’t put me in an euphoric state. It may make me puke my guts up everywhere, but it’s doubtful if you could get that much of a buzz from the smell?

Anyone out there ever use it and if so what was your experience?

What’s this world coming to? October 25, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in bathroom humor, common sense, critique, current events, fashion, humor, nostaglia, opinion, pedestrian behavior, random references, sarcasm, world news.
35 comments

Seriously…first we find out that some neanderthals used to be gingers!

It that wasn’t bad enough, now we find out that kids are being bullied in middle school for wearing certain fashion labels.

Good thing these meddling middle schoolers didn’t get a hold of me in college. All I wore were windpants and sweats and crummy t-shirts. I would’ve gotten called names, like “frumpy-ass” or “not dressed so well kid” or stuff like that. That would have been too much to handle for my psyche.

I mean what the fuck is up with these kids anyway. You can blame the fashion designers for targeting youth. When I was a child I don’t ever remember kids caring if you wore Levi’s vs. Jordache. Back then a Sergio Tacchini track suit was considered fashionable as was a pair of Z. Cavaricci’s.

Actually back in Junior High School I think all I wore were Skidz.

I don’t remember any kid calling me “Skidmark” or making fun of the hideous plaid design I wore on a nearly daily basis.

But regardless, these youth have way too much pressure on them these days. They have to look the part, act the part and be the part. If not, they’re social outcasts and basically are resigned to a life full of name calling and asskickings. Not that that wasn’t prevelant in my youth, but I don’t think the pressure is on youth as much as it is today to look good and act cool.

Anyway, it’s fuckin freezing in here today. It figures they fix the airconditioning once the temperature drops into the 60s. Great work building management. My fuckin nipples have cut through my polo shirt already.


Random picture of ‘erect’ nipple

Actually they’re the one typing this blog as we speak. Although the left nipple is having a tough time with the shift key. I guess I lack the opposable areola that is needed to type correctly.

Ok…on another note that’s far more disturbing, get a load of this:


Male with very severe gynecomastia

E-fucking-gads man! Dude…if you’re a man, at least cut your hair (your head hair not your chest hair). I don’t care if you have that gynowhatever…if you’re gonna have breasts at least pretty up the area around them. How the fuck is someone supposed to motorboat that? Seriously! And forget ever getting a job at Utah Flapjacks!

(ok…i think the nipples have done enough typing for the day)

Move bitch, get out the way October 18, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, bathroom humor, common sense, critique, current events, humor, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, signs, stupidity, yankees.
33 comments

Today’s post is dedicated to all of those assholes who get in the way.

Like the guy who was arrested a few years back for blocking traffic on the sidewalk.

The pedestrian in question, Matthew Jones, “was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest — by flailing his arms– on June 12, 2004. Police said other people “had to walk around” him, and he wouldn’t move when asked.” He is currently appealing his arrest.

Well I’m glad he went to the slammer. Had he followed the proper rules of pedestrian engagement and wasn’t a douchebag maybe he would have avoided getting a plunger stuck up his ass.

Next up is this fat ass who got in the way of a sixty-nine:

Good job 55. Fuckin fat ass. All I wanted was a picture of a 6-9 and you ruined it. Don’t you know there’s only two people in a sixty-nine…unless you’re in a Utah porn or something (btw, someone got to my blog recently by searching for Utah porn. Not sure why Utah porn is so special. Maybe it’s because of all the mormons. hmm…)

Another guy who needs to go the fuck home is this guy:

“The protest was not without its superfans. Joaquin Ferreira, 54, of Brooklyn, arrived decked out in a Yankees hat and jacket. A fan for 10 years, he said, “I’m here to support Joe Torre. If Joe leaves, the Yankees will go to hell.”

Wait a minute…Superfan? 10 years?? Are you fucking kidding me?!? So let’s see…hmm…10 years ago was 1997. Oh WAIT, that was ONE year AFTER the Yankees won the World Series. OH so that qualifies him as a superfan??? That Bandwagon jumping muthafucka? Un real. So he’s been a fan just as long as Joe Torre has been a manager with the team. Nice. Good intelligent writing AM New York. Oh and look, the person who wrote the article is a Newsday writer. The pinaccle of sports journalism. What a joke. Calling him a super fan is like calling boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/ funny. (LK- there you go, I took a shot at her. Third in the voting for funniest blog my ass.)

Another person who needs to get out of the way is this asshole that had a sign that said “Cowboys Bound 4 Superbowl”.

Good job genius. Hope some Patriot fans shoved that up your ass after the game. Moron. Why don’t you wait until we’ve actually made the playoffs before declaring a trip to the Superbowl. Oh, wait…you must be a “superfan” too like the douche above. Let me guess, you started being a Cowboys fan in ’93? And no true fan goes to the game with a sign that calls out the network that’s calling the game. Fuck face.

Oh and btw…why that girl was announcing to the world that she’s a Homo Sexual is beyond me. I mean she’s cute and all and some chick would be lucky to have her as a partner. But seriously, honey, saying you’re a homo sexual with a big sign is probably not the best way to get on TV.

Googlezon October 12, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, common sense, critique, current events, fashion, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, stupidity, video, world news.
11 comments

Sorry guys, been a crazy work day today. That and I’m off to Dallas for the weekend to watch my beloved Cowboys try to hang in there vs the Patriots.

But some “quickies” to share before I depart (and not of the sexual kind unfortunately).

First, on the train this morning I’m standing against the door. I’m wearing a green t-shirt and off-white cargo shorts (yes shorts…it’s still in the 50s/60s which is still shorts weather in my book. Keep looking at me like I’m a freak there assholes). Anyway this blond chick gets on the subways wearing the same color combination as me! She’s wearing a similarly colored green top and white pants! Not only that but the bitch has the audacity to stand right next to me! Unreal.

So now we’re standing there like two dofusses dressed alike.

THANK GOD she got off in just two stops. I mean really…who the fuck wears white pants after labor day? Com’on now!

Speaking of unreal and outfits. This lady sitting across from me on the train the other night had on one of those straw hats.

Everytime she moved her head, she’d poke one of the straws into the guy or the lady sitting next to her. They were getting so pissed. Who the fuck wears a hat like that on the subway (well unless you want space of course). I was trying not to laugh so I just calmly whipped it out and took a picture.

If I were sitting next to her though I probably wouldn’t have been laughing. Nothing like getting poked in the eye with some straw to start your evening commute home!

Anyway saw an article today that General Electric is looking to part ways with NBC. According to the article in MediaPost Publications by Wayne Friedman, “GE will consider an NBC sale after the network airs the Beijing Olympics next year…
Who would buy? Surely the usual suspects, like Time Warner, have been bandied about, since it’s a large media company without a full-fledged broadcast network — just one-half of one, the CW. Previously, Time Warner wholly owned the WB. But consider other bigger, perhaps more unusual players. There’s Google, Microsoft, Facebook, or some other new contraption of a media company looking to put a new spin on an old — but still promising — entertainment platform. This would make sense. While those new Internet/tech companies always get the buzz, they really aren’t ready to delve into the tricky world of TV program – or content — development. Yahoo tried to go that route and didn’t get very far. Even for a company like Google, which seems to grow larger and larger by promising advertising networks and marketing solutions to smaller and smaller companies, NBC – or for that matter any network — is still an attractive option because those old entertainment companies can still get big mass audiences with one hit show.”

Now this is exactly what I’ve been telling anyone who listens to the shit that pours out of my mouth. Google is looking to take over the world.

If you haven’t seen this video piece from the Center of Media Research you should. It talks about Google merging with Amazon to create “GoogleZon” which would basically control all the custom content you read and receive. It also talks about the New York Times eventually trying to sue Google and losing, leaving Google as the only powerhouse left in the media world.

Click here to view the video.

It may not be all true…but definitely interesting, especially given Google’s desire to snap up everything in it’s power.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

GO COWBOYS! You can do it!

Wacky Wednesday October 3, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, asshole of the day, bathroom humor, common sense, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, politics, random references, sarcasm, sex, stupidity, subways, weird.
109 comments

So on the subway this morning this guy sits next to me and starts reading the Post. He pulls out a carrot and starts chomping on it. Like, a full grown carrot, complete with brown spots and everything. I watched him out of the corner of my eye and it took him like 30 seconds just to chew and digest each bite before he’d chomp into the next bite.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone just start chewing on a carrot like that in the city…let alone on the subway. Most citiers get those presliced carrots…or they wash the carrots they buy and maybe peel off the outer layer. But this guy was chomping through, dirt and all.

Then on my way into my building I’m walking behind this woman who is obviously having a tough morning. She’s juggling her two bags, laptop and cup of starbucks and pretty much holding up pedestrian traffic. Oh and she’s also on the phone, one of those ear piece thingys. Anyway I overhear her say “yeah, it sucks, my space bar isn’t working…i mean how can you not have spaces. It’s like an important key. It’s not like an A or something”.

Iknowthespacebarisaveryimportantkeyandallbutseriously,isitmoreimportant
tobemissingspacesorisitmoreimportanttobemissingthelettera?

But of all letters she chose to call out, why the letter A? Don’t the vst mjority of the words we use contin the letter A? (3 A’s would have been used in that sentence alone!) Why didn’t she just say it’s not an important key, like the F11 button. Or the letter Z. Or any of those useless keyboard keys, like Pause/Break or Windows Start?

So I’m dedicating today’s blog post to the letter A.

A is in, asshole why don’t you think before you speak next time.

In other breaking news, a “coon” is running for president.

Now WAIT…before you go running off calling me racist and think I’m talking shit about Obama…I’m talking about a raccoon. As in the animal.


Can a raccoon be our next president?

It’s true. A raccoon by the name of “Key Coon” has already been endorsed by several influential bloggers, including one of our favorites, Laurie Kendrick.

In fact, early polls out of “Coonecticut” indicate that Key Coon has 68% of the popular vote, due to the fact that he has campaigned hard through the “Coonstitution State”.

Here at WhatPushesMyButtons, we have held back from declaring our support to any of the candidates for the ’08 election. But hopefully KeyCoon will be here to answer some very important questions our readers have in mind, like:

Would KeyCoon promote the growth of coontinuing education among today’s workers?

Could KeyCoon gain coontrol of the senate and the house?

What are KeyCoon’s plans to ease urban coongestion?

If he can answer those questions in a positive light, we may have no choice but to throw our support behind KeyCoon, who has unofficially been labeled, “The People’s Coon”.

And for those who have questions about the KeyCoon sex scandal, hopefully KeyCoon can address the issues upfront and honestly. Last thing we need is another president with a love of cigars and interns.


Can Keycoon overcome the sex scandals and make a run for presidency?

So go over to KeyCoon headquarters and let him know what your thoughts are about his run for presidency and stay tuned for more answers for your questions on his coongenda.

No hugging zone October 2, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, bathroom humor, common sense, critique, current events, opinion, pedestrian behavior, sarcasm, stupidity, world news.
28 comments

So another place in this country of “freedom” communism has adopted a hugging ban. This time the principal of a Oak Hill, IL middle school has placed a ban on hugging in the hallways.

Principal Victoria Sharts of Oak Park’s Percy Julian Middle School is quoted saying, “Hugging is really more appropriate for airports or for family reunions than passing and seeing each other every few minutes in the halls.”

Sharts is further quoted saying: “Last year we would see maybe as many as 10 students on one side (of the hallway), 10 on the other and then, going in opposite directions, would sort of have a hug line going on and you could see where that would be a problem,”

Sharts also says that “rampant hugging is creating bottle necks in the hallway and making kids late for class…although hugs are supposed to be handshakes from the heart some times they don’t seem so innocent. Too long, too close, and usually between boys and girls.”

Before I rip into how ‘ass’inine this principal’s comments are, can we just focus on something for a quick second. Is her last name Sharts? As in I just Sharted myself?


Principal Sharts, the anti-hugger

I mean I’m sure she must get bullied non-stop from the children. I’m sure they be like, hey principal, here’s some Febreze for your ass. Or how’s the skidmarks treating you these days.

No wonder why she’s anti-hugging. Poor thing. But just because your name implies that you sharted yourself doesn’t mean you have to take it out on other children.

Furthermore since when are hugs “handshakes from the heart”? A hug, by and large, is supposed to be an intimate thing. A handshake by nature is quick and formal. I mean I’m not sure what types of hugs she’s gotten but obviously she wasn’t one of the more popular kids growing up. Nor was she shown much love from friends and family. Hugging is a sign of flirting and friendship, at least among students. Normally girls hug each other as a sign of friendship like guys slap five. But something girls and guys hug too. I mean you gotta assume some of these kids are already having sex. Isn’t that just like one giant hug between body parts?

Needless to say “Ms. Shit for Brains” is none too popular in her school these days. Now that the story is out the shit has really hit the fan for her. With all of the negative attention, I’d hope she gets canned soon. Maybe she’ll get the shit end of the stick in this deal. (ok that’s enough).

Before I go I need to gripe about something. Why the fuck did Poland Spring make their new bottle caps so hard to open. Seriously. You need a fuckin pair of pliers just to open the top.

I nearly sliced my fingers open and lost two teeth trying to pry the cap off.


The ingenious design of the new Poland Spring bottles

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve had major problems with them. Then again we all know Poland Spring is made from springs of natural concrete so not sure why I’m drinking that shit anyway.

Gimme More Collard Greens Mutha Fucka September 27, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, celebrities, common sense, critique, current events, eating, food, new york city, opinion, politics, restaurant, stupidity, world news.
22 comments

So y’all heard by now Bill O’Reilly done said some racist things in the past few days.

If you haven’t heard, O’Reilly was having dinner with Rev. Al Sharpton up at Sylvia’s, which is a soul food restaurant in Harlem (one of the best soul food restaurants around).

O’Reilly was quoted saying “couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship.”

O’Reilly continued “You know, I mean, everybody was — it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn’t any kind of craziness at all,”

O’Reilly even added: “There wasn’t one person in Sylvia’s who was screaming, ‘M-Fer, I want more iced tea.”

Now I don’t know what types of restaurants O’Reilly has been in before with black folk, but its plainly clear he was out of touch. What did he expect, people to be climbing all over the seats, swinging from the chandeliers, stealing food off each other’s plates? I mean bitch, this ain’t no Chuck-E-Cheese or IHOP, this is Sylvia’s. Soul Food at it’s finest. If you wanted chaos and people cursing at each other then you need to go to Popeye’s or the B-K up in Harlem. Then people be all up in ya grillz asking for change and throwing chicken bones around.

I mean I’m joking of course but you get my point. It’s crazy that someone in this day and age thinks it’s an “amazing thing” that a restaurant run by “blacks” and frequented by “blacks” can be just as “civilized” as a “white run restaurant”.

I mean, Bill…last time I checked you were a business guy and you surely know that “blacks” hold CFO, President, CEO, and other highly influential positions in business. Hell aren’t there special publishing features and media reports devoted to the top companies run by minorities? I can’t believe you’d be that out of touch with civilization that you think every establishment run by a “minority” is run like a zoo. Now granted there is your occassional exception or two but seriously man…I’m disappointed.


Yo bitch, where my collard greens at?

All I know is that I’m thinking about wearing a Bill O’Reilly costume for this Halloween. I’ll show up to Sylvia’s or some other “black run restaurant”. I’ll scream at the workers “yo, motha fucka, where the fuck my chitlins and collard greens at”. Everyone will have a good time and laugh. And then I’ll take off my costume and sit and enjoy my meal like a civilized human being.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to seek out some fried chicken for lunch. All this talk about it has put me in the mood for some finger lickin goodness!

Life’s a “breeze” July 24, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in brooklyn, common sense, fishing, funny, pictures, politics, sarcasm, travel.
14 comments

So on Saturday, Avi, Lauren and I ventured off to do some fishing. Instead of hitting one of the party boats in Sheepshead Bay I suggested we take a trip to Breezy Point (Queens) and fish off one of the jetty’s on the beach (which would also double as a beach day)!

So we headed to Brooklyn to pick up my mom’s car and some equipment and headed out to Breezy Point, which I haven’t been to in years. For those who don’t know Breezy Point, it’s basically a very small neighborhood at the western tip of the Rockaways adjacent to the Atlantic Ocean. If it wasn’t for the Rockaways and Breezy Point, most of Brooklyn would be like the lost city of Atlantis because the water would surge completely inland.

Anyway, we drove to the end of the penisula and parked next to the Breezy Point Surf Club. I figured it would be a short walk from there so we unloaded the car and carried our gear towards the beach.

Well, small problem was that we had a cooler full of beer, ice and bait, bags of beach towels, rods and other equipment to fish with. So we weren’t exactly carrying light. The other small problem? I failed to remember that we had to walk over 1/2 mile in the sand dunes to get to the beach.

Everytime we thought we were close, we had another twist and turn in the path. Buzzards were circling over us waiting for the moment we dropped in exhaustion. It really felt like another world, with 10′ tall grass and thick as molasses sand dunes. Sweat poured down our brows as the gear became heavier and heavier. It was crazy…I never remember the walk being as long or as tedious.

Finally we got to the beach and dropped our cooler and bags straight down. We took a few deep breaths and tried to catch our bearings. People were laid out on the sand, sunning themselves and playing in the surf.

I looked to the right and figured the jetty would be right near us. Nope. Not even close. The jetty was farrrrrrr in the distance. Like another 1/2 mile or so!


The jetty was barely seeable from here!

You have to be kidding right? How big can Breezy possibly be? We should have been in Jersey by now with the amount of walking we did!

That was a big discouragement to say the least. We were dying of heat and fortunately Lauren and I came prepared by wearing bathing suits (Avi wasn’t as thoughtful) and headed into the water to cool off. I normally like to dive right in, but it was still fuckin cold! Felt good initially, until my nipples started to freeze over and then I headed back to the sandstorm (true to the name, there’s always a brisk ‘breeze’ in Breezy). Seriously, it felt like we were in the middle of a sandblizzard. Sitting down, the sand whipped into your back. Laying down the sand pounded your face. The only salvation came when we opened the cooler and busted out the 6 pack of refreshing Light Mike’s Hard Tea!

Awesome stuff! It’s a little less sweeter than the previous versions of Mike’s Hard Tea and goes down supersmooth. I think I drank two bottles in 2 minutes top. Probably could’ve drank another 20 or so. Definitely worth trying, especially on a hot summer’s day.

After about an hour or so of laying around we decided the trek to the jetty would be too far, so we decided to surf cast. We only had 7 foot rods, where normally surf casting requires a 15-20 foot rod. So needless to say we were in trouble. I ventured into the ocean and attempted to cast past the waves, which failed miserably. Avi had better luck casting, until the reel popped off the rod and the line snapped off, taking the weight and hook with it. Not only happened once, but twice. Hmm. Note to self, you can’t overhand cast a fluke rig. I guess there’s a reason you only fish for fluke off boats, you’re supposed to drop the line deep down and let the fish bite. We learned this the hard way. Twice.

Anyway I had another 5 pounds of squid that I didn’t know what to do with. And since everyone else I asked wasn’t fishing for fluke (I guess they were fishing for syringes?) I ventured out into the water and let the squid go. The seagulls ate the squid in about 2 seconds so so much for feeding the fish!

Anyway…no catches of note for us. Besides catching plenty of sand in our eyes, nose and ass. Ok, maybe not ass…but I wouldn’t be surprised if some ended up there! Heading back from the beach we cut through the Breezy Surf club where we were able to walk on concrete and not sand. No wonder why they charge their members $50 per visit!

However, since I never published the pictures from our trout fishing trip a few months back, to make me feel better about fishing, here’s Avi with his trophy wild trout caught at the Morsston house back yard stream in Livingston Manor, NY

And here’s my big catch from that weekend’s fishing trip!

Pretty sweet huh? Needless to say that branch was able to feed us for weeks!