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How Nice of Her!!! December 7, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, sarcasm.
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So got this email in my Inbox this morning.

—-
Date: Fri, 07 Dec 2007 08:31:30 +0000 (GMT)
From: KTFlynn@san.rr.com
Subject: I wish you well

Dear Friend,

My name is Mrs. Felicia Adam Swanson I am a dying woman who have
decided to donate what I have to you/ church. I am 59 years old and I
was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago.I have been touched by
God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you
for the good work of God. I have asked God to forgive me and believe
he has because He is a merciful God.I will be going in for an
operation later today.I decided to WILL/donate the sum of (five.five
million dollars.)to you for the good work of the lord,and also to help
the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the
widows. At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due
to the fact that my relatives (They had squandered the funds i gave
them for this purpose before)are around me and my health status.

I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is aware.I wish you all the best
and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds
well and always extend the good work to others.Contact my lawyer with
this : Name: Barrister William Francis. Tel:+447011132753
williamfrancis_chambers@yahoo.it

Tell him that I have WILLED(US$5.5M) to you by quoting my personal
reference number Jl/Wds/953/5015/GwrI/316 us/uk and I have also
notified him that I am WILLING that amount to you for a good work.I
know I dont know you but I have been directed to do this.Thanks and
God Bless.

Regards,
Felicia Adam Swanson
—-

I mean how sweet is she???? She donated $5.5 million dollars to me/it/my church! I’m so eternally grateful I’m about to cry. I mean I know she said she doesn’t know me but she has been “directed to do this” by God. Maybe my wish of hitting the lotto has finally come true!!!

I’m going to email Barrister William Francis right away with all of my banking information and my social security number so he can deposit the $5.5 million to me! Needless to say I’ll share my new found riches with all of my faithful readers out there!

So in turn, if you’d like to receive some of my riches, please email me or reply to this post with your Name, Address, Banking Information, Social Security Number, Date of Birth, Maiden Name, Occupation, Name of your first born or unborn child, your pants size, Eye Color, Hair Color, Toenail length, Name of your pet, Your preferred Underwear brand, The number of teeth in your mouth, and most importantly all of your credit card numbers, expiration dates and three digit ID # on the back of your credit card.

Once you send me all of that information, I’ll be sure to directly deposit a lump sum of no less than $1,000 to your accounts!

I know…how kind of me. But I’m just sharing the wealth, just like Felicia Adam Swanson shared her wealth with me!

Make it rain bitch…make it rain!

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Comments»

1. roger - December 7, 2007

dude, you’re the fuckin best! haha

2. Mr. Blogger - December 7, 2007

Mr. Blogger
15 Sarcasm Way
New York, NY 10001

DOB: 01/01/65
SSN: 001-00-000

Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: None
Pant Size: Equator
Underwear Brand: Panama Canal
Toenail length: 2 inches
Teeth: 10

Visa
5000-0000-0000-0005
Exp 01/01/09
ID#: 000

Can’t wait for my riches!!!

3. gary - December 7, 2007

make it rain bitch make it rain.

hahahah

4. Candice - December 7, 2007

THANK YOU!!! YOU’RE SO SWEET TO SHARE!!!

5. trent - December 7, 2007

I love those fuckin emails

6. tiffany - December 7, 2007

you’re too much

7. keywork. - December 7, 2007

tiffany, underneath all of this fur, I’m naked.

8. janet - December 7, 2007

TMI key…TMI! ๐Ÿ˜‰

9. keywork. - December 7, 2007

Oh, right. I’m naked. Didn’t mean to upset Peta. Sorry, Janet.

10. tiffany - December 7, 2007

well we’ll just have to get you a little raccoon outfit key, won’t we ๐Ÿ˜‰

11. keywork. - December 7, 2007

oh, there you are. i’ve already got stripes.

12. tiffany - December 7, 2007

i’m thinking more of a blazer look…something that scream hip and ‘raccoonsexual’

13. keywork. - December 7, 2007

works for me. not like i’ll be wearing it long.

14. tiffany - December 7, 2007

is it inappropriate to say my beaver’s making noises ๐Ÿ˜‰ do beavers and raccoon’s play along? ๐Ÿ™‚

15. keywork. - December 7, 2007

Not inappropriate at all. And yes, raccoons and beavers play along very well. (raccoon noises)

16. tiffany - December 7, 2007

hmm. we could have a happy family of beavcoons or raceavers running around. how cute would they be!!!!!

17. nincompoop - December 7, 2007

any chance of sharing some photos of your beaver tiff? ๐Ÿ˜‰

18. keywork. - December 7, 2007

tiff, if I didn’t know better, (and I don’t), it seems you’re feeling the raccoon.

19. Laurie Kendrick - December 10, 2007

Dear Male Friend/Female Friend/ As Of Yet, Gender Undecided Friend,

My name is Ms. Laurie Kendrick I am woman who’s dying to have you donate your hard earned dough to my cause.

I am a Cancer (I enjoy long walks and old Parliament (the Bootsy Collins years) I have been touched by many men who thought there were God and I have inherited the ability to ask you to do God’s work, by sending me cash.

I will be going in for to play “Operation” (that damned funny bone always makes me laugh!!) later today. That’s why I’m asking you to shell out the sum of five million dollars for me to do the work of the lard. You see, I want to be a chef and working with animal renderings will help get me started. I also want to help the motherless and less privileged and also for the assistance of the
windows. Yeah, I’m not liking what I’m seeing dressed in the windows at Macy’s these days.

At the moment I cannot receive any telephone calls right now due
to the fact that my relatives are constantly on that bitch and the line is never free….. the greedy pricks. I’d say e-mail me, but I don’t want them know that in you, I’ve found a pigeon. I mean mark….er, uh, I mean very nice man/woman/shemale.

Just contact my lawyer, Name: Will Screwyou. Tel:+447011132753

Tell him that you have WILLED(US$5.5M) to you by quoting my personal reference number Big/Idiot/Wds/953/5015/Eat/Me-316 us/uk.

I know that I don’t know you, nor do I want to, but come on…help out an old altar girl.

Oh yea.. Bless you and shit.

Regards,
Laurie Kendrick

20. rags to riches - December 12, 2007

How cool! Ya know, I just got in from a really hard day at work and cussed and screamed all day abour how I would love to just quit my job..and of course shop for a living. Then I open my e mail and I got that SAME message FIVE MILLION DOLLARS!!!! I mean WOW!! Just for me! Ain’t that just some shit!?!?!?! People are ignorant, only I am not ignorant enough to fall for it! But I will give you all of my information anyways because you were so generous as to pick ME to leave 5 mil to…oh, I hope that god blesses you back for your generosity to all of us people who could really use this money!! Here is my info, Just for you, you kind soul…….GET A JOB, JUST THE WAY THE REST OF US HAVE…AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY, GOD KNOWS HOW MANY ILLIGETIMATE KIDS YOU HAVE RUNNING AROUND WAITING ON US POOR WORKING PEOPLE TO SUPPORT THEM!! You are going straight to hell, cause the 5 mil that I just inherited from you, I burned it…so send it in hell you freak!!!!!!!

21. Scam 5.5 Million Dollars!:( - March 2, 2008

Ya call me crazy but I am 10 and I got that e-mail a ladie gonna give me 5.5 million dollars hell ya I would want it but I am old enough to know its a scam so the maker of this better stop it I’m ten and know its a damn scam and thats not funny to make up dying jokes for a quick scam you know I could press charges against this person matter fact I am gonna get my mom to help me track these screw heads down the only reason I am at this site is to get my angrer and disbuit out I searched the damn bitch and found this site!

22. Anonymous - May 9, 2010

Wow what a wierd peer

23. website - June 3, 2012

Hey there, I just hopped over to your web site using StumbleUpon. Not somthing I would normally browse, but I enjoyed your thoughts none the less. Thank you for making something worth reading through.


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