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I’m from Hollywood…Florida??? November 14, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, asshole of the day, critique, current events, funny, humor, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, sarcasm, stupidity.
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So probably 0.0000001% of you saw this today (well yesterday by the time this post goes up in WordPress land), but thousands of cranky NYC commuters did. On page 6 of AM New York (too bad it wasn’t the “other page six”) I was quoted in the “Sound Off” area of the paper.

My quote was my response to the feeding the pigeon ban fiasco as reported here on Monday. I was engaged in a heated debate on the AM New York site about the ban and seemed to be the only one in favor of it.

In the message board I was called “an animal hater” and basically told to go to hell by some pigeon fucking assholes.

But nonetheless, in plain print was my opinion on the matter:

If you want to see the paper in its entirety you can view it here: http://www.amny.com/media/acrobat/2007-11/23136028.pdf

Now, I’m definitely honored that they would select my quote to appear in the newspaper. I haven’t been quoted in a newspaper since my college days, and that’s when I was quoted as saying Marv Albert was my role model just a few days before he was found biting prostitutes in the back. So this ink was decidely much more positive.

Actually my full quote on the site was: “I wholeheartedly agree with the ban. If you grew up in any part of the city you know that by and large pigeons are for the most part pests. Their shit literally rots away our bridges and buildings. They don’t contribute anything to the city. They’re not pretty and “bird watchable” by any means. Anyone feeding a pigeon should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Perhaps their punishment should be having a gang of pigeons shitting in their house for a week and we’ll see how they like it.”

So AM New York did some censorship on my behalf. But whatever. These days you can’t even print the word shit without the Federal Cocksucking Commission coming down on you. But to see what the discussion forum was where they grabbed my quote, you can view it here: http://www.topix.net/forum/source/am-new-york/TPG285OEGMQ7RGO4F.

It’s definitely worth a laugh seeing how stupid these pigeon fuckers are. Especially this douchebag Adam quoted besides me in the paper. Does his quote even make sense? Seriously. “Does anyone even know the price of gas? Anyone know what the implications are?”. What the fuck does that have to do with eliminating pigeon shit asshole? Way to make a complete asshole out of yourself. If this was a debate I would have wiped the floor with him.

Anyway, what pissed me off was the quote said I lived in Hollywood, Florida. I mean I’m not knocking Hollywood, FL. I’m sure it’s a lovely community of dinosaurs and retired Jews from up north.

I mean, it’s on the ocean. It has its own government. And its welcome sign is a lot nicer than that shitty sign that greets you out in the “other Hollywood”:

You sit there and tell me that sign is not nicer than this piece of shit:

I rest my case.

But still, it was a little bizarre to see someone quoted on a NYC pigeon shitting problem from Hollywood, FL. I just about lost all my street cred with that one.

Thanks alot AM New York.

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Comments»

1. roger - November 14, 2007

dude…that’s fuckin hysterical!!! Hollywood Fl?!?! haha…of all places, seriously?

love the quote though. you totally wiped the floor with that douchebag.

2. Mr. Blogger - November 14, 2007

that’s hysterical chris!!! hollywood florida! good luck living in retirement!

3. gary - November 14, 2007

I’m sure it’s a lovely community of dinosaurs and retired Jews from up north.

ouch. my grandmother lives in hollywood. although i guess she’s part of the dinosaur crowd since she’s not jewish 🙂

4. victor - November 14, 2007

ha read AM New York but didn’t see that!!! crap!

5. keywork. - November 14, 2007

wait till those cocksuckers see our plan for the squirrels.

6. mklasing - November 14, 2007

“Pigeons have the same right to be here as humans do” No they don’t Adam–humans were given control of the animals–maybe you remember the story from the first chapter of Genesis–after all the main character was a guy named ADAM!!!!! If the “humans” decide that pigeons need to be neck twisted one at a time and left to flop around until each drop of their disgusting blood drips out of their lifeless neck–then so be it. We are humans–they are birds. We take baths (except the French)–they live under bridges with humans that are too lazy to work–and who don’t take baths. But seriously–forget all this–the real point is–“What is the price of gas?” WTF?????

7. jake - November 14, 2007

i love that you’re calling these douchebags pigeon fuckers. sounds like they really do fuck a pigeon. who sees beauty in a pigeon. they’re grey, they beg…they’re annoying as shit.

down with the pigeons!

8. fred - November 14, 2007

could be worse…they could have said you’re from san diego…the whale’s vagina!

9. sarcasmo - November 14, 2007

the price of gas is currently $3.14 adam. why don’t you learn how to read the signs, jackass

10. chris - November 19, 2007

hey guys, sorry for the lack of updates…been crazy in WPMB land…i promise to have a fun filled update later this afternoon 🙂


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