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Move bitch, get out the way October 18, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, bathroom humor, common sense, critique, current events, humor, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, signs, stupidity, yankees.

Today’s post is dedicated to all of those assholes who get in the way.

Like the guy who was arrested a few years back for blocking traffic on the sidewalk.

The pedestrian in question, Matthew Jones, “was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest — by flailing his arms– on June 12, 2004. Police said other people “had to walk around” him, and he wouldn’t move when asked.” He is currently appealing his arrest.

Well I’m glad he went to the slammer. Had he followed the proper rules of pedestrian engagement and wasn’t a douchebag maybe he would have avoided getting a plunger stuck up his ass.

Next up is this fat ass who got in the way of a sixty-nine:

Good job 55. Fuckin fat ass. All I wanted was a picture of a 6-9 and you ruined it. Don’t you know there’s only two people in a sixty-nine…unless you’re in a Utah porn or something (btw, someone got to my blog recently by searching for Utah porn. Not sure why Utah porn is so special. Maybe it’s because of all the mormons. hmm…)

Another guy who needs to go the fuck home is this guy:

“The protest was not without its superfans. Joaquin Ferreira, 54, of Brooklyn, arrived decked out in a Yankees hat and jacket. A fan for 10 years, he said, “I’m here to support Joe Torre. If Joe leaves, the Yankees will go to hell.”

Wait a minute…Superfan? 10 years?? Are you fucking kidding me?!? So let’s see…hmm…10 years ago was 1997. Oh WAIT, that was ONE year AFTER the Yankees won the World Series. OH so that qualifies him as a superfan??? That Bandwagon jumping muthafucka? Un real. So he’s been a fan just as long as Joe Torre has been a manager with the team. Nice. Good intelligent writing AM New York. Oh and look, the person who wrote the article is a Newsday writer. The pinaccle of sports journalism. What a joke. Calling him a super fan is like calling boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/ funny. (LK- there you go, I took a shot at her. Third in the voting for funniest blog my ass.)

Another person who needs to get out of the way is this asshole that had a sign that said “Cowboys Bound 4 Superbowl”.

Good job genius. Hope some Patriot fans shoved that up your ass after the game. Moron. Why don’t you wait until we’ve actually made the playoffs before declaring a trip to the Superbowl. Oh, wait…you must be a “superfan” too like the douche above. Let me guess, you started being a Cowboys fan in ’93? And no true fan goes to the game with a sign that calls out the network that’s calling the game. Fuck face.

Oh and btw…why that girl was announcing to the world that she’s a Homo Sexual is beyond me. I mean she’s cute and all and some chick would be lucky to have her as a partner. But seriously, honey, saying you’re a homo sexual with a big sign is probably not the best way to get on TV.



1. candice - October 18, 2007

oh man…someone’s bitter this morning! haha

2. janet - October 18, 2007

hahahahah…her sign really said she was a HOMO Sexual????? LMAO!

3. lauriekendrick - October 18, 2007

I’d love to hear what WPMB readers think of clavicle, wounds and Fresca’s “comedy”.

I voted for you CJ and in the 11th hour last night, put in a mass nomination for you, RationReality.com, Keywork and one of my favorites, The Nose of Your Face.

So, the nominations are in..what happens next? Do you really think they already know who’s gonna win? What a sham. That’s just fucking gay…more gay than a clutch purse at Tony night.

Later, you funny writing, critical of other blogs bastard!!! (but I loves ya for it, Rastus!!)


4. roger - October 18, 2007

DUDE…that’s fuckin hysterical….i just spit my coffee everywhere…

5. melissa - October 18, 2007

OMG i’m crying i’m laughing so hard…she’s a homo sexual….hahahahaha

6. Mr. Blogger - October 18, 2007

Laurie: the only blogs I read are yours and chris’. They give me my humor fix for the day. Everyone else can just pack up and go home as far as I’m concerned

7. trevor - October 18, 2007

wow…the venom today! awesome…love that you’re ripping a new asshole of fans that are fans of your teams! haha.

8. trent - October 18, 2007

any guy that tries to break up a sixty nine is a douche!

9. anonymous blogger - October 18, 2007

this post is proof why you are one of the funniest bloggers around…screw that Dr. Pepper drinking, injury prone whore!

10. bob - October 18, 2007

why would that girl do that????

11. chris - October 18, 2007

LK: the way those things work (the voting) they already know who their finalists will be…it’s always those blogs that are consistently the most popular, like PerezHilton and ICanHazCheezburger. And since everyone knows my stance on that site, I’m pretty much fucked from receiving any “nominations” from the board. Personally I think they just open the doors to the “general blogging public” so they can get more traffic to their site and maybe sell some tickets to their events. There’s no way they can equally judge the thousands and thousands of so called humor blogs out there. So they just go with the most popular on Technorati and other site tracking bs, like that blogger choice awards crap. But we can always sit back and make fun of the ones that do get selected. It’s the democratic thing to do!

12. nincompoop - October 18, 2007

do you think the D on her hat stands for Dyke?

13. melanie - October 18, 2007

hahaha nincompoop…you actually made a funny!

That’s crazy…the sign couldn’t have said homo sexual….lol…

tears are rolling down my face i’m laughing so hard.

14. jake - October 18, 2007

WOW…just WOW…why would she say that? haha

15. fran - October 18, 2007

you just made my day…i’m hysterical right now!

16. andrew - October 18, 2007

so i checked out the dr. pepper site…eh…so/so…she has some funny moments…but i wouldn’t say it’s worthy of the best humor blog out there…there’s tons of sites that are even funnier than you guys are (i know…i know…impossible!). but that being said it’s completely subjective. everyone has different tastes.

keep up the good work you two…and keep us laughing!


17. debbie francis - October 18, 2007

Can i just say, i thoroughly enjoyed this post today. As much as it was vulgar and over the top in certain ways, the humor at the end just killed me. I had to read it three times over to make sure i wasn’t missing anything – very funny!

btw, i found your blog based on the duggar birth re enactment, which was completely hysterical!

thanks again for making me laugh!


18. bubba - October 18, 2007

oh man…funny shit today…the stuff people do these days. breaking up 69’s. saying they are homosexuals. what’s this world coming too!

19. Thos - October 18, 2007

Since i was there, her sign actually said “Romosexual” which is a term used for girls that like Cowboys QB Tony Romo.

It is a great photo since the bars in the stadium make it look like an h

20. chris - October 18, 2007

Way to ruin the fun thos…way to ruin the fun.

21. roger - October 18, 2007

ha yeah that’s not nearly as funny…although it makes the fact that you got the picture perfectly so the R looks like an H even funnier!

22. dalton - October 18, 2007

Homo…Romo…same thing 😉

23. ethan - October 18, 2007

were those 6-9 girls at least attractive? I agree…the fat guy ruined what could have been a great shot!

24. ethan - October 18, 2007

oh btw…Yankees Suck!

25. chris - October 18, 2007

Rog: yeah, couldn’t have timed that photo any better.

Ethan: yes, mildly attractive…if you like annoying girl patriot fans who probably only started liking the team once they started winning.
(seems to be the theme of the day)

btw, where you been? hate to tell you, but I think Sox are going down tonight…sorry bud.

26. trevor - October 18, 2007

you may be right about that…tribe are on a roll right now!

27. janice - October 18, 2007

i have that damn song stuck in my head now…thanks alot!

28. Thos - October 18, 2007

sorry to ruin the fun, but I didn’t want the photo’s greatness to be denied.

the 69 girls were kinda cute but as chris said definately on the bandwagon.

I think Beckett does well tonight but now I’m leaning towards tribe in 7 as opposed to my sox in 7 before.

29. growingwings - October 18, 2007

you’re mean. but effin funny! i love grouches.

30. Stiletto - October 18, 2007

A Romosexual? Well, in that case, she should be annoyed at the fucking railing for getting in her way.

31. Chris - October 18, 2007

Thanks growingwings, i’m normally not a grouch…but i do swing a sharp sword. 😉

Stiletto: yes…although in DC they don’t have a player to swoon over like they do in New England (Brady) and Dallas (Romo)…it also helps when said players have “the sex” with actresses and singers.

I’d love to have her picture plastered all over gay rights websites declaring she’s a homosexual. I mean she should be proud to take a stand and declare her homosexuality.

32. Rhinoplasty - January 22, 2008

I feel uncomfortable with my nose, I feel shy to mingle in group I got a cure for the same with non-surgical nose, now I feel comfortable. job done. Good post to go… Thanks guys!

33. Stiletto - January 22, 2008

“Stiletto: yes…although in DC they don’t have a player to swoon over like they do in New England (Brady) and Dallas (Romo)…it also helps when said players have “the sex” with actresses and singers.”

Yes, welcome to my hell. Slim pickings in DC, my dear.

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