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What a “turd”! August 10, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, bathroom humor, eating, food, random references.
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WARNING…EXTREMELY DISTURBING CONTENT COMING UP. PLEASE DON’T READ NOR BE OFFENDED IF YOU DO READ. JUST WARNING YOU NOW. THANK YOU.

So they are doing construction in our office right now and we’re packing up and moving downstairs. Half the floor has moved already so it’s just our half that’s left. So last night I figured I’d use the bathroom on the empty side of the floor since I had to do my “duty”.

Well imagine my surprise when I walk into the bathroom and immediately am greeted by a foul and unpleasant order (obscure Seinfeld reference for you there, 100 points if you can guess the scene). I walk past one of the stalls and see this large black piece of shit “drydocked” in the toilet (meaning above the waterline for those who need a visual). The water was yellow and apparently whoever left behind their mess didn’t bother to flush.

It was disgusting and appalling. I nearly threw up and turned to leave immediately. But then of course the blogger in me kicked in so I decided to share with you how disgusting this was.

I held my nose as I took the picture on my cell phone and ran out of there as fast as possible. Suddenly my urge to go was completely gone. The craziest part was how whoever took the shit got it to come out of their ass sideways? Seriously…that’s fucking crazy. And how they managed to get it drydocked is beyond me. Actually there is some traces of shit on the bowl so they literally must have been forward in the seat.

I wonder what this guy could’ve eaten to create such a thick and dense piece of shit? I mean it must’ve hurt like hell trying to push that through. Well, I may have found my answer. Walking back around the office, I saw a few boxes of food on a shelf.

Yep…the Thunderhead Venison Stew would probably explain it.

Anyway, I debated sharing this with y’all given how gross it really was. A picture doesn’t do it justice. But since I’ve never been one not to share such stories with my dearest and closest friends, consider this my gift to you.

No need to say thanks.

Anyway, I’m off to Michigan for the weekend for a work event. Enjoy your weekend and I’ll talk to you on Monday.

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Comments»

1. roger - August 10, 2007

OH GOD……UGH…THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING. WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING. SERIOUSLY.

I’ll have to stew on that seinfeld reference for a bit…no pun intended

2. elyse - August 10, 2007

i just threw up in my mouth….

3. janet - August 10, 2007

I walk past one of the stalls and see this large black piece of shit “drydocked” in the toilet

hahahahahaha….nice! drydocked! LMAO….never heard that one before…hahahahaha

4. bubba - August 10, 2007

Yep…the Thunderhead Venison Stew would probably explain it.

HAHAHAHA….yep, venison stew would DEFINITELY ‘splain it

5. trent - August 10, 2007

thanks for sharing…no really…fuckin asshole.

6. howie - August 10, 2007

oh that’s fuckin terrible….seriously fucked up. the guy must have been either laughing or terrified

7. Mr. Blogger - August 10, 2007

OH man….can’t believe you had the courage to take a picture of it…brave man…

btw…i think that reference is from the episode where Newman and Kramer go to return the records to Bleecker Bob’s and newman tells the guy he emits a foul and unpleasant odor. is that correct?

8. ethan - August 10, 2007

Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!

9. roger - August 10, 2007

oh i remember that episode now…you the man mr. b.

10. trevor - August 10, 2007

SO WRONG AND SO FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME

11. victor - August 10, 2007

you’re fucked up…you really are.

but funny shit (pun intended) 🙂

12. chris - August 10, 2007

Howie: yeah…what was he thinking afterwards? Was he too frightened and just ran. Or was he like wait till the cleaning guy gets a load of this one. Get it…load. Thank you thank you. Remember to tip your waitresses.

Mr Blogger: GOOD WORK…no seinfeld reference seems to get by you. And here I thought I was one of the few who truly appreciated the bleecker bob’s episode. glad to know i’m not alone!

Everyone: sorry again…but needed to share.

13. cheryl - August 10, 2007

i didn’t read the post and just scrolled quickly down. but i saw the shit…and it didn’t look good. hopefully that didn’t come out of your ass!

14. candice - August 10, 2007

ha…no cheryl…he took a picture of what someone else left “behind”. 🙂

15. ben - August 10, 2007

holy crap that’s disgusting! haha

16. nincompoop - August 10, 2007

i think that warning picture belongs with the putting the “bath” in bathroom post!

17. carlos - August 10, 2007

i’m both laughing and disgusted at the same time…

18. abarclay12 - August 12, 2007

OH my god. This is HI-larious. “Dry docked”??? That is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Great post. So mofo funny.

19. The Bagel of Everything - August 30, 2007

I was neither offended nor terribled disgusted.
I think there’s something wrong with me.
Also, where the fuck can I get prepacked venison stew?
Did you notice it says at the bottom “serves 8”.
Who brings a giant box of soup to work? WHO?!
Same kind of person that doesn’t flush their turds, that’s who.


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