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Slowest cab ride ever August 9, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, new york city.

On my way home from work last night at around 11:30pm (I took a few hours “off” to play racquetball last night and nearly broke my ankle in half in the process – but that’s another story), I grabbed a cab on Park & 33rd.

The driver said it was his last run and he was heading uptown. Perfect because so was I. I noticed the driver was an older gentleman, easily in his late 60s/early 70s. But I figured he would probably have a lead foot, especially being it was so late at night and cabbies are normally in a rush to go home after a long day’s work.

Boy was I mistaken. Now don’t get me wrong, it was actually nice to have a cab driver take his time, not kill any pedestrians and even slow down before hitting an axle-busting pothole (most cabbies will speed up before hitting said potholes and give you the worst whiplash you’ve ever had…especially since no one ever wears a seatbelt in the back of a cab!). Anyway, this guy was going so slow, people on bicycles were passing us by. I’ve never been in a cab in which everyone else is racing around you. It felt like we were just sitting there idle. I glanced over at the odometer and it said 20 mph. 20! Who does 20 mph in Manhattan without traffic?? While it was nice to take a leisurely ride through the streets of the city, I just wanted to get home. I was tired, my ankle was throbbing. I was tempted to jump in the front seat and say move over gramps, i’m taking the wheel. But I restrained.

I was indeed his last fare of the evening. Hell, for all I know I could’ve been his last fare ever – and that’s why he was taking his sweet ass time. If that’s the case, I guess I don’t blame him. Although if he drives like that normally, he’s lucky if people don’t go off on him. Luckily I’m blessed with patience (on occassion – although I’m losing more and more of it in my old age) but I can see some drunken blowhard cursing him out as he misses light after light on his way home.

Anyway, Ephraham my man…keep cruising…and keep playing that light jazz music in the back of your cab. It was the most relaxing cab ride I’ve ever had. Good job! I think for your outstanding efforts you should be rewarded with a new cab that would showcase your laid back style. Something along these lines:



1. roger - August 9, 2007

ha nice…a pimp mobile for cabbies…

that’s crazy you had a slow taxi ride, i don’t think i’ve ever had one of those!

2. ethan - August 9, 2007

Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!

3. candice - August 9, 2007

aww…you probably were his last fare ever!

4. Mr. Blogger - August 9, 2007

hah…he must have been an older white man right?

5. jake - August 9, 2007

Ephraham? Was that his name?

6. chris - August 9, 2007

Yep…he was a older white male named ephraham. Did a google search and Irving Berlin once wrote a song penned: Ephraham Played Upon The Piano lyrics. Maybe he was talking about the cabbie? 🙂

7. dean - August 9, 2007

jazz and a slow cab…doesn’t get much better than that!

8. bob - August 9, 2007

he should have been playing some Foghat “Slow Ride”…hah

9. gary - August 9, 2007

Nice Bob! although maybe a little too “rock” for the old man?

10. trevor - August 9, 2007

hah…he probably is friends with irving berlin…did you talk to him – i’m sure he has some great stories to share!

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