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Excuse me miss, you dropped your tampons July 20, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in bathroom humor, critique, funny, humor, new york city, pedestrian behavior, pictures, sarcasm, stupidity, subways.
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Actually, that’s the second time in my life I’ve seen someone drop their tampons.

The first time was at a duane reade about 12 years ago. A lady dropped a box of tampons on the ground as she was juggling her other feminine products in her hands. I noticed her struggling and kindly picked up her tampons for her and handed them to her. She was a bit embarrassed, but i was young and didn’t really care. She was actually really pretty, which is one of the reasons why I picked them up for her (I know, I know…typical man!) But hey I was 18 years old and just being curteous 😉 My momma didn’t raise no fool!

The second time was decidedly a more embarrassing situation. I was waiting for an uptown 2/3 train at 34th street last night and there was this girl who was
a bit disheveled. She bent over and out of her overnight bag fell out a single tampon. At first she didn’t see said tampon fall to the ground.  Another lady pointed to the ground behind her and she noticed. The girl who dropped the tampon looked at it and was immediately embarrassed. She waived her hand at it and said she didn’t need it.

Then a few seconds later after she was beat red, she paced around staring at it and started crying. Then she walked away quickly in embarrassment. I didn’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for the chic. I looked at the woman who originally pointed out the tampon to the girl and she just shrugged her shoulders with a slight smirk.

I mean at some point the girl should have just picked up the tampon. No one around her really cared. I didn’t even pay her much attention. Although I could see where it would be embarrassing. I dropped my dildo once on a crowded subway platform. Everyone saw. And laughed. And pointed at me and called me names like Dildo boy. So what if I pissed my pants on the spot. I picked up my dildo, placed it back in my bag and continued on with my day. But this girl….she panicked…and cried…and ran. Poor thing. Maybe she was French!

Anyway, right as the train was coming I took a picture of said tampon and then hopped on the train. Although I’m sure some asshole probably reported a “suspicious package” on the subway platform.

null
Is that a suspicious package, or just a tampon?

Could you imagine. The SWAT team comes out. The white gloved bomb squad comes in.

“What is it sir”?

“I’m not sure, it’s some foreign torpedo like device. (looking through x-ray scope). Oh my god…run away…it has wings!”

Yeah, I’m sure it’ll go down exactly like that. Either that or someone will have just gone about their commute home and found themselves a tampon. Call it their lucky day! Some people find pennies. Some find tampons. You know, you can get a pretty penny on the street for a tampon…especially the unused ones!

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Comments»

1. candice - July 20, 2007

“I dropped my dildo once on a crowded subway platform. Everyone saw. And laughed. And pointed at me and called me names like Dildo boy. So what if I pissed my pants on the spot. I picked up my dildo, placed it back in my bag and continued on with my day.”

LOL…hahahaha…

2. gary - July 20, 2007

oh man…dildo boy…hahaha…sounds like a new superhero!

3. tiffany - July 20, 2007

hahaha…”Oh my god…run away…it has wings!” …funny…

4. elyse - July 20, 2007

i just got done wiping the tears away from my ears…i was laughing sooo fucking hard just now….Dildo boy…hahahaha

5. melissa - July 20, 2007

You know, you can get a pretty penny on the street for a tampon…especially the unused ones

oh god…gross…hahaha.

6. bethany - July 20, 2007

“Is that a suspicious package, or just a tampon?”

LMAO!!!! hahahahahaha….hysterical!

7. trent - July 20, 2007

dude….fucking great…good shit!

8. jessecuster - July 20, 2007

Gary, man, we’ve already got a superhero we like to refer to as ‘Dildo Boy.’ And he’s even a Real Life Superhero, too!

Real Life Superheroes: Tothian Strikes Back

9. recklessdriver - July 20, 2007

nice…if you put it together….it would be the suspicious tampon! hah…sounds like a horror flick to me!

10. humorman - July 20, 2007

i’m beginning to seriously worry about you…dropping dildos on the subway….man…or are you one? haha

11. gary - July 20, 2007

hey jesse, yeah i saw that post…pretty funny actually. good stuff!

although would his cape have a giant dildo on the front?

12. xander - July 20, 2007

haha…or would dildo boy just ride a giant dildo..much like ace & gary?

13. The Bagel of Everything - July 20, 2007

OMG street tampons. That’s nastier than street gum.

I’d not have picked it up either. I mean, what, was she supposed to pick up a tampon that had touched the NYC street and put it into her vagina?

It’s not like a double headed personal massage device, which can be cleaned.

Also: HAHAHAHAHA

14. chris - July 20, 2007

haha Bagel…well technically the tampon was still in its wrapper. So it wouldn’t have been THAT disgusting. Although i agree, had it been “unwrapped” that could have led to all sorts of internal diseases…like sniffalus and the clap.

And I was always wondering how to clean my double headed personal massage device? Do you use an alcohol based cleaner, or do you just “hand wash” it with soap and water? Do tell please 🙂

15. Mr. Blogger - July 20, 2007

You know, you can get a pretty penny on the street for a tampon…especially the unused ones

Current street value for a tampon is $10 smackaroos! Not bad!

16. nincompoop - July 20, 2007

But this girl….she panicked…and cried…and ran. Poor thing. Maybe she was French!

haha…nice…pickin on the french! those little crybabies!

17. jessecuster - July 20, 2007

Mr. Blogger –

From what my wife says, a tampon is sorta like a gun or a seatbelt: if you need one and you’ve not got it already, it’s way too late to look for one.

18. melanie - July 20, 2007

how come I never find tampons laying around on my travels! would save me some nice $$ every month!

19. flanders - July 20, 2007

ok slightly disturbed with all of the tampon talk today…too much estrogen running around 🙂

20. Mr. Garrison - July 20, 2007

I don’t trust something that bleeds for 7 days and doesn’t die

21. bubba - July 20, 2007

haha…nice South Park reference!


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