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So hot in…so hot in herre July 9, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, current events, funny, music, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, subways, world news.
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Yes…I misspelled here…Nelly misspelled it too and he sold 10 trillion records. So maybe by misspelling it I’ll get like 10 trillion page views. Not likely, but worth a shot.

Anyway I can’t tell you how much I’m enjoying this whole dress casual to work and then change at work thing. It’s been a lifesaver. I’m sweating half as much as I used to. The subway was packed this am, but I kept cool by wearing a polo shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops. Sure, my toes were nearly crushed to pieces 100 times. And yes, I did still sweat a little while trying to keep my duffel bag between my legs and avoid tipping over thanks to the people crashing into me. But you know what, my legs didn’t sweat. None of those nasty sweats under your pants you can’t get rid of the rest of the day.

Sure, people may look at you like you’re not important. Or they may say, oh, he must be a camp counselor or look at that guy, he probably is a mail room clerk or something derogatory like that. And maybe the guys with the suits get more looks from the ladies than the guy dressing like he’s going to the beach. But you know what…ask the guy in the suit who’s more comfortable? He may look better, but ask him how the sweat feels that’s running down his back? Let’s see how he feels when the pit stains under his arms start showing up in 30 seconds.

I can’t stress enough how dressing casually has done wonders for my mood in the morning. I went into my barber shop this am…my barber asked me if I was going to the beach. I said with a chuckle, nope…going to work. I walked down the street and people looked at me with a mixture of curiousity and no doubt jealousy. I was “that guy” dressed like a California surfer amidst the throngs of “think I’m important” business people. Although the worst part is when I get to work and have to change. Off come the shorts, on go those restrictive pants. My mood deflats a bit. But at least I’m a little less sweatier to start my day. And I can take solice that for even a brief time this morning, it felt like a day at the beach. Minus the sand, surf and pina colada’s of course.

Anyway, I saw this morning that Clay Aiken got “beat up by a girl” on a flight recently. According to reports: “the dispute was over the male passenger’s foot resting on the woman’s armrest. He said there was an allegation the woman gave the male passenger a “minor shove” during the argument.”

I’m sure Clay was like “Bitch, I’m resting my foot on your armrest. Don’t you know who I am. I’m Clay Fuckin Aiken. Now get on your knees and bow down in front of me”.


And on the 8th day God created Clay

And then the girl stood up and Clay stood up. And the girl was much bigger and badder than Clay. And bopped him one right in the kisser.

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Comments»

1. roger - July 9, 2007

haha..nice..he deserved to get “shoved”

2. thefreshcracker - July 9, 2007

Clay Aiken has always reminded me of the Chucky Doll from “Child’s Play”

3. candice - July 9, 2007

haha…nice…i hoped she punched him in the face…that would be funny

4. dean - July 9, 2007

actually John Gruden looks more like the Chucky Doll…but yes, i agree there is a resemblance!

5. trevor - July 9, 2007

that is a good idea actually…regarding dressing casually during the commute…i will have to try that. especially since its been in the 90s recently!

6. ethan - July 9, 2007

Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!

7. bob - July 9, 2007

hey…what’s wrong with being a mail room clerk 😉

8. mr. blogger - July 9, 2007

you know i bitch and moan every day about sweating on the way to work…you might be onto something here!

9. elyse - July 9, 2007

that’s why us girls are lucky…we get to wear tanks and skirts! 🙂

10. shayna - July 9, 2007

yeah but then you have to shave your legs and your pits…too much effort!

11. nelson - July 9, 2007

Bitch, I’m resting my foot on your armrest. Don’t you know who I am. I’m Clay Fuckin Aiken

hahaha…nice…i could imagine it went down kinda like that…he seems like a prick!

12. cdp - July 9, 2007

And on the eighth day God created Clay. Very nice.

I concur fully with regard to the wonders of casual dress. Today I’m sitting here in jeans and a “snappy casual” tee (snappy cas for those in the know); but that’s just because there’s no client face time today and I have to spend my afternoon filing personal motions and affidavits re. my douchebag ex. Wow, this comment is going south in a hurry . . .

Even when I’m in a suit though, I always work the flops til I get to the office. Something about descending stairs clad in restrictively tailored Brooks Brothers while balancing an assortment of bookbags, briefcase, laptop, juice boxes, trusty bottle of Xanax and two Heinekens stuffed in my purse all the while attempting to prevent two nutty little boys from wiping anything gross on my suit or pushing each other down the concrete steps just leads me to forego the BCBG pumps until the last possible moment. Of course there was that one time when I came in a little too casual while pregnant with my second child after having spent the previous few hours battling some seriously heinous morning sickness; and my boss told me he was down with casual so long as my productivity stayed up but that really, I looked like I was about to go outside and wash the car. Then I ran to the bathroom and spent an hour alternately crying and barfing; and a little while doing both at the same time.

I’m developing a nasty habit of leaving ridiculously long and rambling comment filled with totally irrelevant information about myself on other people’s blogs. Sorry about that. Isn’t that why I have my own blog? Hmm.

13. chris - July 9, 2007

yeah…fortunately i’ve managed to stay cool minus the 90+ temp outside today…must be the stale air they keep recycling in here. haha…

i definitely find your “long and rambling” comments very entertaining (and definitely humorous!). No need to apologize…feel free to leave as long or as short a message as you’d like. although i’m sure others would be slightly grossed out by the morning sickness comments…but luckily we find that sort of humor right at home here!

And you know…I’ve always wondered what women carry in those “small but spacious” purses of theirs. Glad to see Heineken is your choice of beer for your purse! Maybe that should be their new marketing campaign…Heineken. Portable. Fashionable. Appearing in a pocketbook near you!

Yeah I know what you mean… sometimes it feels like I spend more time on other people’s blogs than my own!

14. howie - July 9, 2007

CDP: maybe you should invest in some easy spirits! they look like a pump but feel like a sneaker! haha

15. mr. x - July 9, 2007

nice howie! i remember that jingle!

Looks like a pump….feels like a sneaker!

Good Stuff!

16. tiffany - July 9, 2007

CDP: you crack me up!!! sometimes i think you’re funnier than chris….but shhh…don’t tell him that!

17. melissa - July 9, 2007

yeah…i agree it is refreshing to find a funny female around here…not that you other ladies aren’t funny….but you know what I mean.

18. candice - July 9, 2007

umm…mel – are you trying to say I’m not funny!

19. trent - July 9, 2007

Uh-oh…cat fight!!!! haha

20. nincompoop - July 9, 2007

ladies…ladies…now now….let’s calm down.

plus if you’re gonna have a catfight, at least let the rest of us watch! 🙂

21. candice - July 9, 2007

ha..no cat fight…i don’t feel like kicking melissa’s ass today 😉

22. cdp - July 9, 2007

Easy Spirit you say? I’m intrigued, but wondering if this would hamper my rockin’ MILF image. You know, ’cause nothing says sexy like a crazy single mom with snot smeared on her shoulder and random pieces of Nutter Butters in her hair. I just don’t know that the Easy Spirits would mesh well with this aura of total hotness. I’ma mull it over.

This is like the coolest and friendliest blogger community ever, and I heart you guys already. Although, if a catfight’s about to go down, I got a kiddie pool full of chocolate pudding and a fiver on the underdog. Ring the bell: School’s in, bitches!

23. barry - July 9, 2007

“And bopped him one right in the kisser.”

umm….Did i miss something or are we in the 1940s all over again?

😉

24. chris - July 9, 2007

Hey Howie: look at you with the nostaglia going on. Busting out the Easy Spirit. They were all over the place back in the 80s with their ad campaigns showing the professional business women running from meeting to meeting like they were dodging tennis balls on American Gladiators. I never knew pumps could manuever so well. Actually I think one of the businesswoman ran a 4.4 – 40 in the pair of red pumps. It was insane. She even blew by Flo-Jo at one point.

CDP: Hmm…yeah if it was between the designer shoe and the Easy Spirit I’d say you’d go designer shoe. Especially since easy spirit seemed to only come in red for some reason. Hmm…have to research that. Although next time you’re trying to run through the airport with two children in one arm and five bags in the other, i’ll bet you’ll be thinking: “I wish I had my easy spirits on right now”.

Btw…if you’re looking to attract guys, Nutter Butter in the hair is the way to go! Who couldn’t resist some peanut butter cookie goodness!

Come to think of it, why don’t they make hair ties/accessories that smell like food? Despite attracting the occassional bee or mosquito or fruit fly…you know how many guys you’d attract??? Gee…I wonder what smell will draw a man closer…. Peanut Butter or AquaNet? I can picture it now…

Guy #1 (to Guy #2): Yo, check out the goods over there.
Guy #2: Yeah she’s hot, but man…her hair stank like beauty salon and moth balls. Now that honey over there is slammin bro!
Guy #1: Nah man you’re crazy, she’s all busted and shit
Guy #2: Man, no way…she’s got that cheesesteak scent in her hair today…man, i’m all over that shit!

25. jaclyn - July 9, 2007

Come to think of it, why don’t they make hair ties/accessories that smell like food? Despite attracting the occassional bee or mosquito or fruit fly…you know how many guys you’d attract??? Gee…I wonder what smell will draw a man closer…. Peanut Butter or AquaNet?

LMAO!!!! OMG…LOL…

26. cdp - July 9, 2007

Oh. My. God.

That. That was just awesome with a captial AWE.

I’m thinking that between my foodstuff perfumed mane, childbearing hips, and ever growing tendencies toward chemical dependence, I’m in there like swimwear. Mad game, my good man.

MAD game.

27. pete - July 9, 2007

Jaclyn, use acronyms much? haha

28. HumorMan - July 9, 2007

Guy #1 (to Guy #2): Yo, check out the goods over there.
Guy #2: Yeah she’s hot, but man…her hair stank like beauty salon and moth balls. Now that honey over there is slammin bro!
Guy #1: Nah man you’re crazy, she’s all busted and shit
Guy #2: Man, no way…she’s got that cheesesteak scent in her hair today…man, i’m all over that shit!

umm….that is some of the funniest shit i’ve read today…and i’ve read some funny shit!

good stuff!

awesome blog.

no wonder why you have a cult following here. This blog IS more addictive than crack!

29. gary - July 9, 2007

“I’m thinking that between my foodstuff perfumed mane, childbearing hips, and ever growing tendencies toward chemical dependence, I’m in there like swimwear.”

Hi…CDP…umm…i think i’m in love! 🙂

30. roger - July 9, 2007

Dude…i can’t take anymore…please stop…you’re killing me today. I can’t get any work done. I almost got fired for laughing so loud.

31. janet - July 9, 2007

Especially since easy spirit seemed to only come in red for some reason.

haha…you’re so right!!!! LOL! how do you remember this shit??? 🙂

32. Mr. Blogger - July 9, 2007

ooooh…..gary and CDP…i think we have a love connection! Someone call Chuck Woolery!! haha

33. mancheebo - July 9, 2007

You guys are hysterical…all of you…this is some awesome banter going on!

34. jake - July 9, 2007

I personally think the two blog owners, CDP and Chris, should collaborate on some stuff….the two of you have some awesome senses of humor! i haven’t laughed like this in a lonnnng time. well since i laughed at this blog last week with the gouter stuff! haha

35. cdp - July 9, 2007

Okay, seriously folks. My face hurts and I just had to close my door because the laughing out loud is getting way out of control. And I’m pretty sure my boss knows this deposition transcript is just not that goddamn funny.

Chuck Woolery? I mean, really. You guys are killing me.

Oh, and Gary: I like long walks on the beach under hypnotizing sunsets, English literature, romantic candlelit dinners; and also well-brand vodka in a bottle small enough to accomodate a straw, Kid’s Cuisine frozen dinners, and eating cold pizza at 3 am on my kitchen floor, barefoot and with mascara smeared from eye to earlobe. Most of the time when this happens, I’m still holding my purse after coming in from the bar while frantically attempting to type incoherent text messages via a thumb smeared in the maynonaise I thought might taste good with the pizza. What happens when I wake my kids up by jamming to my Def Leppard ringtone and then they have to schlep me into the shower and put me to bed is probably more a matter for Child Protective Services than this blog; but do let me know if you’re still interested.

🙂

36. xander - July 9, 2007

What’dya say Gary?!?! Enquiring minds want to know!!!

37. keith - July 9, 2007

woah gary…that’s hot stuff there…if you don’t feel like responding I most certainly will! Actually i may anyway….any woman that is drunk enough to put mayo on her pizza is ok in my book! 😉

38. chris - July 9, 2007

Wait…hold the phones…am I missing a love connection type moment on my own blog???

I didn’t hear the Chuck Woollery ole’ “we’ll be back in 2 and 2”?

Did the WPMB audience select Gary as the most eligible bachelor?
Who are the other contestants?

That’s what I get for having a real job I guess!

This sounds like a great idea actually…three guys can step forward for a chance to meet the lovely and fabulous CDP…the rest of us can vote on which guy gets the honors! If CDP is willing of course. (wink, wink)

Although given some of the characters we have here I wouldn’t be surprised if she says no to all three “bachelors”.

🙂

39. trevor - July 9, 2007

I’d personally vote for Nincompoop…with a name like that, how can you go wrong? haha

40. gary - July 9, 2007

A girl after my own heart! although the last female I tried to pursue online nearly resulted with me landing a role in an episode of CSI: New York….as a sex offender.

hah…j/k. you sound like an awesome lady CDP…unfortunately I’m not sure my current wife would like that very much! damn being married! 🙂

41. cdp - July 9, 2007

I’m liking this. I haven’t been this popular since that night at the Kappa Sig house; but then, that’s probably just what happens when you drink strangely potent punch out of a trash can; and then decide the Bong Olympics would be a good way to spend the rest of the evening.

We’ll be back in 2 and 2? Again with the laughing out loud . . .

And, three bachelors you say? That may be a little overwhelming and would certainly constitute the high point for pursuit of cdp, unless you count law enforcement officers, although I still maintain that my headlights were in fact on. WhatEVER.

42. chris - July 10, 2007

haha….nice. ah, the ole’ frat house days…come to think of it…i knew your name sounded familiar. Must have been one of those stories passed through the fraternity ranks!

Hmm…yeah, I’m not sure this blog is the place to make a “love connection”…although weirder things have happened. certainly everyone who posts here has a sense of humor so they have that going for them. and they all seem pretty harmless…except for nincompoop…because frankly…well…i’m not sure what type of person would call themselves that! 🙂

43. freddie - July 10, 2007

add me to the list of potential suitors for CDP!!!

44. Stiletto - July 11, 2007

He must be really flexible, I’m assuming he had one leg crossed over the either and was touching her armrest?

Seriously though, the airplane is not a place for violence. Although I would have hit that bitch right back. That’s what he should have done…men don’t mind watching two girls fight.

45. Stiletto - July 11, 2007

Oh I was not talking about me, I was referring to the girl and Clay.

46. 64a0fa2b9509d2fa221b1f216e74e089 - July 17, 2007

64a0fa2b9509d2fa221b1f216e74e089

64a0fa2b9509d2fa221b1f216e74e089

47. dad son sex - July 20, 2007

dad son sex

Hello!

48. Stiletto - July 20, 2007

Dad son sex? Oh no! Don’t click on the link! I did and your eyes will burn, burn, burn!

49. chris - July 20, 2007

haha…no worries, stiletto, i’ll heed your advice…not sure how his post even got through my “spam filter”…

50. job picture rim - July 20, 2007

job picture rim

Hello!

51. WhatPushesMyButtons - July 20, 2007

how are all of these spammers getting in?

rim job pictures??? are they using cartman’s mom from south park.

this is great…my blog is becoming the source for father-son sex and rim jobs. what I’ve always wanted with this blog. i can retire in peace now.

52. lindsay lohan in a thong - July 20, 2007

lindsay lohan in a thong

Hello!

53. Stiletto - July 20, 2007

Oh my god, this is so funny. It’s killing my abs (which are already in pain from yesterday’s crunches).

54. quagmire - July 21, 2007

Lindsay Lohan in a thong??? Jackpot!

55. Stay After Class - August 5, 2007

Stay After Class

Stay After Class

56. Tamara - September 13, 2007

You wanna see a real hottie, check out this guy the video on this site http://www.emarketinginc.com


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