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Staring Problem July 6, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, eating, food, funny, humor, movies, music, new york city, nostaglia, opinion, pedestrian behavior, random references, subways, video.

So this morning I’m sitting on the subway reading AM New York and this lady across from me is staring at me. Thinking she may wanna read the paper too I open it up wider and lift it for her so she has a good view. I read an article, glance up and she’s still staring at me. Another 60 seconds go by, I dart my eyes up…same thing. Full out stare. And not one of those I’m staring into space stares. This was I’m staring at you intentionally kinda stare.

Then I start thinking. Do I know her from somewhere?

Nope…never seen her before.

Do I have something on my face? Did my goiter grow overnight? Am I showing too much cleavage?

No…no…and perhaps…

Goiter? What Goiter?

But she’s still continuing to stare dead ahead at me. And I started to get uncomfortable. She wasn’t the most attractive nor skinniest of people. Actually I was getting quite worried that she was eyeing me up as her breakfast. Honestly. She had that cannibalistic look in her eye…the “get in my belly” kinda stare that Fat Bastard had in Austin Powers

Needless to say I buried my head deep into the paper. I noticed no one was sitting next to me anymore but the woman was still there, practically salivating. I could’ve sworn I saw her place a bib around her neck…then again I didn’t have my glasses on so it could’ve been an ascot…or a necklace…but regardless there was something eerie about this woman.

Thankfully the drama ended when she got off at 42nd street. I breathed a sigh of relief. Cause I didn’t feel like being no one’s breakfast this morning.

I was so giddy and relieved that I wasn’t eaten, I jumped on the set of Soul Train and started dancing.

(That was me with the white pants doing the leg twirl in case you didn’t recognize me)

Anyway, it’s supposed to be a HOT HOT HOT one this weekend…so make sure you turn up your HOT 103.5 and listen to some Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam.


Wait…my bad. I thought I was in 1987 for a moment.

Well as Broadway Bill Lee says… “stay calm, kiss your mom, ban the bomb, do the best you can, remember God loves you man”



1. roger - July 6, 2007

hahaha…nice…broadway bill lee…isn’t he the KTU deejay??

2. trent - July 6, 2007

that’s an awesome soul train video…nice moves dude!

3. howie - July 6, 2007

maybe you had some chocolate on your face???

4. ethan - July 6, 2007

Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!

5. mr. blogger - July 6, 2007

It must have been the cleavage…

maybe she was after some white meat!

6. chris - July 6, 2007

actually I’m a little tanner these days…so maybe she was after some “slightly dark” meat

7. dan - July 6, 2007

Umm…that’s one hell of a goiter!!!!!!

8. tiffany - July 6, 2007

ewwww…could you use LESS gross pictures next time…haha

9. nelson - July 6, 2007

Where is that Goiter joke from…i’ve heard it before?

10. mr. x - July 6, 2007

Seinfeld reference…where Elaine is visiting that older woman who slept w/ Ghandi…she had a goiter and elaine was like goiter…what goiter???

awesome stuff

11. gary - July 6, 2007

dude you fuckin crack me up with all of these random references…

ahh good ole Hot 103.5…great station…before it turned into Hot 97 and thug life.

12. elyse - July 6, 2007

OMG…Broadway Bill Lee…i remember him from back back back in the days! nice!

13. doug - July 6, 2007

“stay calm, kiss your mom, ban the bomb, do the best you can, remember God loves you man”

haha…swwweeet. does he still say that now on the air?

Rebecca - February 5, 2011

Yes he does – CBS FM 101.1 I’m so glad they brought it back because I couldn’t stand Jack FM.

14. janet - July 6, 2007

“I could’ve sworn I saw her place a bib around her neck…then again I didn’t have my glasses on so it could’ve been an ascot…or a necklace”

haha…an ascot? LMAO?

15. victor - July 6, 2007

did you ever think she noticed you from this blog??? haha

16. cdp - July 6, 2007

I was doing okay until I got to the am I showing too much cleavage part; at which point I laughed out loud. Then between the get in my belly remark and the that’s me in the white pants doing the leg twirl part, I think I choked on my latte and snorted a piece of donut onto my monitor. Now if my boss comes in here it will be obvious that I am not working but rather drinking coffee and eating Krispy Kreme.

Thanks a LOT Chris.

17. chris - July 6, 2007

Victor: wouldn’t that be something…women recognizes blogger…eats him for dinner. story at 11

Doug: not sure..haven’t listened to the radio in quite some time

Gary: correct…Hot 103.5 was the precursor to Hot 97 and KTU…it was the “rebel” station back in the days. Playing songs like “Bad of the Heart”…

Mr. X: good work…100 WPMB points for you!

18. candice - July 6, 2007

um…you did NOT just bust out the Bad of the Heart???

19. chris - July 6, 2007

CDP: oooh…latte and donuts…i’m so jealous. the line at starbucks was no joke 30 people long today…ridiculous…so i had a protein shake and a clif bar…yuck. although i have this sudden urge to climb a mountain today. anyway i guess you haven’t gotten the memo that reading this blog is hazadous to your monitor and keyboard…i may have to invent the WhatPushesMyButtons screen guard someday…right after I get past trying to develop a rubix cube for helen keller. anyway glad i could make you laugh… even if you get fired while doing so!

Candice: um…yeah I did. George Lamond in the HOUSE!

20. barry - July 6, 2007

Bad of the heart…You never wanted to start . Cause your just bad of the heart….


21. melissa - July 6, 2007

you crack me up…seriously…i’m dying laughing…

22. cdp - July 6, 2007

I had a Luna bar for breakfast yesterday. (Clif Bar for girls.) I didn’t want to climb a mountain really, but I did briefly contemplate bulimia. Yuck.

I missed the Starbucks line because I rolled in around 10 this morning. Yeah, and in jeans too. Who says you can’t practice law in flip flops?

23. chris - July 6, 2007

Barry: I’m gonna hope you knew that from memory and didn’t google it…but odds are you google’d it didn’t you? You little googler you.

CDP: Wait…Luna bar’s are only for girls? Shit…that would explain the high level of estrogen I’ve been carrying around recently.

And i’m all for casual dress in the office. If it was up to me i’d be wearing shorts and flops everyday (except meeting clients or “important” meetings)…actually i’ve started wearing shorts to work and changing when i’m here…makes me feel a little more relaxed in the am…at least i can pretend i’m going to the beach.

Oh and for everyone…please check out http://cindypoe.typepad.com/tortious/

Awesome post today about CDP’s experience meeting the parents for the first time. Very very funny and well written. And definitely something we all can relate too…well maybe not all…but most 🙂

24. cdp - July 6, 2007

OMG I’m famous! Thanks for the shout-out!

ps, I must cease and desist the reading of this blog in the workplace. The laughing out loud really needs to stop.

25. candice - July 6, 2007

CDP – funny stuff!! i can definitely relate!

I know…reading this blog is contagious isn’t it!!

26. recklessdriver - July 20, 2007

I can’t believe you used the word ascot in a blog posting…funny shit my friend…funny shit

27. SHOSERNINGECE - February 20, 2008

Just discovered a complete list of all marked down products at Amazon, sorted by category
and % off, ranging from 50% off to 90% off (thanks Sonja for the effort).

Actually I never thought Amazon would have articles with 90% off, but only in the category
Electronics there are more than 3000 of them – look for yourself, the list is on
or on http://digg.com/gadgets/Actually_I_never_thought_Amazon_would_have_articles_with_90
(which is a blog of a woman who specializes in finding good deals at Amazon, like Britain’s “Jeanie”).

28. Anonymous - March 1, 2008

yeah broadway bill lee still says it but it on wcbs fm 101.1

29. miguel - September 20, 2008

what the fuck??? thats a stupid asss fucking lame ass muthafucking piece of shit story

30. A - June 1, 2010

Yeah sometimes I want to kill those people. They think you are an idiot.

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