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Definitely a “mis-steak” July 3, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, eating, food, new york city, opinion, photos, pictures, restaurant, travel.

Before I “rip” into Pat’s Cheese Steak, I have to say “Eden” Rocks! I know I’ve semi-bashed it before, but I was working late last night so I decided to order dinner from the Eden Wok and bring it back to the office. Since BBQ is on the agenda for toinght, I decided some sodium-laced Chinese oughta hold me over for now. I’ve had the decently tasting chicken and cashews before so decided to go with the Crispy Shredded Chicken w/ Brown Rice and a Miso Soup. Let me just say it was one of the tastiest take out dishes I’ve ever had (then again at $9.95 for a small portion it better be damn good). The chicken was tender. The sauce was tangy and sweet. The brown rice perfectly neutralized any hints of heat. It also blended perfectly with the light and refreshing Lime Green Snapple I drank. I was very pleasantly surprised with the dish.

The Crispy Shredded Chicken at Eden Wok

I put my fork down at 8pm with a half full dish. By 8:05 I had another few forkfuls while I tried to fill myself with those crispy lo-mein noodles. My mouth was watering for some more sweet goodness. By 8:10 I had just enough left to close the lid and save it for left overs for lunch (thus eliminating any need for a $11 lunch tomorrow – which I’ve been “skewered” on this board by “some” from MidtownLunch.com for doing. You know who you are…mr. anonymous).

Anyway it was a very, very good dish if you’re ever on 34th street and Madison and craving some kosher Chinese (I mean…who doesn’t crave Kosher Chinese?)

Anyway onto the meat!

I spent the weekend in Philly for John’s bachelor party. I won’t bore everyone to death with the details, but let’s just say a great time was had by all and that the Citizens Bank Ballpark (where the Phillies play) kicks the shit out of Yankee Stadium or Shea….let’s just hope the two new NYC ballparks are just as nice.

One of the highlights of the trip was making the requisite trek over to Little Italy to help try to settle the debate between who had the better cheese steak, Pat’s or Geno’s.

I was beyond amped for either of the two, especially since either one would have been my virgin voyage to the “meccas” of Philly Cheese steak land. I had especially high expectations of the places being that these places were the faces of Philly cheese steaks, despite being obvious tourist traps (side note, I know there are 100 better places to eat a cheesesteak in philly – Tony Luc’s, Mike, Pete’s, Dan, Al’s, Sam’s, Jim’s, wherever…so please no “you shoulda went to”…”or you’re a fuckin idiot for going there”….ok? Capice? Mucho Gracias.)

There were 8 of us so we split into groups of 4 (unintentionally of course, as I wanted to try Pat’s after hearing from some sources that it was superior to Geno’s). The Geno’s line was considerably shorter than the line at Pat’s, which seemed to play into my rationale that Pat’s must therefore be better.

The group of 4 at Geno’s ordered and ate their cheese steaks within 30 minutes, while me and my group of 3 on the Pat’s line still had about another 10 minutes or so to go before we ordered. I was getting ancy, but seeing the vats of Cheez Whiz in the window just heightened the anticipation.

The vat’s of Cheez Whiz at Pat’s

We finally got near the window…and people were ordering in droves. One guy ordered 6. Another woman ordered 5. It took about 10 minutes to walk from one sign of the “how to order” sign to the other. It got me thinking. I should just order 100 and sell it at a markup to the poor bastards waiting on the line that wrapped around the building onto itself. Seriously. No wonder we waited over an hour to order…when people are ordering 5 a person you don’t move a fuckin inch.

With people ordering 5 at a time, we had plenty of time to read the rules

Anyway, we placed the world’s quickest order (how fast can YOU say “Wiz Wit”) and after grabbing a soda I sat down for a taste of heaven in a bun.

Or so I thought.

You see…I made a cheese steak a few years back during my annual super bowl bash. I used real prime rib and sliced it real thin. Trimmed off all the fat on the meat and seared it. I sautéed up some diced onions and green peppers, combined the ingredients on the griddle and poured on the cheez whiz. A few tosses with the spatula, lay it on the soft hero bread and viola! It was fantastic. One of the best I’ve ever had and I’m not saying that just because I made it. It was fuckin good.

So Pat’s, despite using mass produced, industrial items, must be as good if not better, right? Well…I’ll be damned. This pile of shit before me looked like frozen chewed up steak-ems with cheez whiz. I’d expect that from my high school cafeteria but Pat’s? “King” of the Cheese Steak?

THIS is the “King of Steaks???”

The cheez whiz wasn’t even spread out evenly, it was lumped in the middle. There was chewy fat on the edges. It was not a pretty picture. I mean I wasn’t expecting much knowing that they pump out thousands of cheese steaks a day. But I was expecting something more from the “King of Steaks”.

The other guys had already long devoured their Geno’s steaks so there was nothing left for comparison. But I was starving so I ate my cheese steak in about 60 seconds. Ok maybe 30 seconds. But I was just trying to get it out of the way. It tasted decent enough thanks to Mr. Cheez Whiz and his infectious flavor. But thoroughly and utterly disappointing as a whole. I could’ve eaten three or four…but why bother.

So without even getting a chance to compare the two I’m gonna have to say Geno’s was better.

The group of 4 enjoyed their Geno’s steaks. The 4 of us were impartial about Pat’s. Sorry Pat’s fans. That’s the way the cookie crumbles. But Pat’s left such a sour taste in my mouth that next time I go there (IF I go there) I may have to order the Hot Dog. Or the Fish Steak. Because either may be infinitely better than the Steak-ems slabbed on a bun that is masquerading as something called a “cheese steak”.

The verdict? Eating at Pat’s was a “mis-steak”



1. roger - July 3, 2007

ouch dude…i love pat’s…but yours ain’t lookin so good

2. bob - July 3, 2007

wow…that is a skewering to say the least!

3. elyse - July 3, 2007

OMG…you tore them a new asshole!!! hahaha

4. Ethan - July 3, 2007

Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!

5. howie - July 3, 2007

(long whistle)…man…i always thought pat’s was decent…but that pic doesn’t look too appetizing…yikes!

6. mr. blogger - July 3, 2007

wow…that looks like shit on a bun if you ask me!!

7. trent - July 3, 2007

elyse what you meant to say was the steak tore Chris a new asshole! hah

8. ace - July 3, 2007

that chicken looks fuckin gooooood!

9. anonymous - July 3, 2007

tony luc’s…or jim’s…

you never asked for anyone’s advice though so serves you right to get shitty cheesesteak!

10. Barry Vernick - July 3, 2007

You are such an asshole!! You knew better. Everyone said not go to Pat’s or Geno’s and then you go there and you complain! Jesus H. Christ you are like a Jewish Mother!! Why the fuck did I bother to read you and I swear to God this is the first time I ever read your blog. Someone posted you on chowhound.com
you must be from NYC.

11. The Bagel of Everything - July 3, 2007

Get your ass over to these comments here and play with us!
(you can delete this comment after you read it, I was just too lazy to find your email)

12. The Bagel of Everything - July 3, 2007

Get your ass over to these comments here:
and play with us!
(you can delete this comment after you read it, I was just too lazy to find your email)

13. chris - July 3, 2007

Bagel: I came over and played. Good stuff. Real life superheroes…i think people are getting all full of themselves thanks to the success of Heroes. Dungeons & Dragons rejects is more like it.

Barry: Oh Barry. I was writing to compare the difference between Pat’s and Geno’s and settle the debate on which one was better since they represented “the face” of philly cheesesteaks. And don’t give me that shit that they don’t. They’re your most known places even if that means they are tourist traps. But you didn’t read that part did you?

I was not searching for the BEST cheesesteak in philly. Had I was, I wouldn’t have went to either Pat’s or Geno’s. I would’ve went to a random street vendor. So this post was about comparing the difference between the two…since that’s what everyone else who isn’t from philly tries to do. And don’t tell me they don’t, cause food network did an hour special on comparing the two.

And yes, I am like a Jewish mother…well frankly because I have one. And I’m stubborn. And yes I’m from NYC.

Although you must be an Eagles fan cause you’re an asshole.

And finally… fuck Chowhound. It’s losers like you who think they know about food who go there to sound all important and allmighty.
They penalize you for voicing your opinion over there by deleting your posts as soon as you say something negative.

Etiquette of posting? Fuck that. It’s a user-engaged site with people giving feedback. So by censoring posts you’re basically making the debate one sided. Let people voice their opinions.

So do me a favor and go back to Chowhound and play with the rest of your friends who are “looking for the best place to eat a donut between the hours of 8 and 10am!”. Fuckin assholes. Maybe you should ask them where the “BEST PLACE TO EAT SHIT IS!!!!!”. Oh…I’m sorry, they won’t let you talk like that on Chowhound.

14. roger - July 3, 2007

awesome dude!!

damn right, he’s probably an eagles fan.

15. trent - July 3, 2007

holy shit dude….needless to say he won’t be coming back!!!

16. barry - July 3, 2007

for the record…that wasn’t me!

17. candice - July 3, 2007

ha..yeah barry..he’s giving you a bad name! haha

18. giovanni - July 3, 2007

that cheesesteak just looks disgusting!!! good call…way to tell the truth about pats and genos…they both suck!

19. phoenix arizona home life auto insurance - July 3, 2007

That was an ugly looking steak sandwich

20. Mr. Blogger - July 3, 2007

Gentlemen…take your corners… hah

I think Chris wins round 1…barry came out swinging, but chris’ counterpunches knocked him on his ass.

will barry answer the bell for round 2…or does his corner throw in the towel???

21. elyse - July 3, 2007

holy shit…now chowhound was ripped a new asshole!


22. foodie - July 3, 2007

i agree about chowhound…some people over there are good and have helpful info…but others just want to see their names in lights…

people have a boner for seeing themselves “published” on sites like that cause they think their opinion is the only one that counts

23. bubba - July 3, 2007

that guy barry vernick is an asshole…he should’ve read the blog more closely. you weren’t looking for the best cheesesteak…you were comparing pat’s and geno’s… so next time why don’t you read douchebag instead of jumping to conclusions

24. xander - July 3, 2007

Although you must be an Eagles fan cause you’re an asshole.


25. bob - July 3, 2007

jump to conculsions…like the Jump to Conclusions mat??? 🙂

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