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Out of it June 20, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in bathroom humor, breakfast, coffee, eating, food, funny, humor, opinion, pedestrian behavior, photos, pictures, sarcasm, sex, weird.
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I’m completely out of it. Once again I blame the humidity. This morning walking over to the train we passed this pimped out yellow Corvette. I barely even noticed it when Bridget said “that’s hysterical”. As I walked by I noticed that emblazened on the windshield in graffiti type lettering it said “Mr. Cock”. After twenty steps or so Bridget was like “You’re not gonna take a picture of that?” The thought hadn’t even occurred to me. Maybe I was still sleeping. But seriously what the fuck is wrong with me? I should have been all over that this am. Like, that writing was kind of big, maybe he’s a BIG Cock. Or maybe he should change his name to Mr. Blank A Doodle Doo. But nothing.

But I’m not the only one struggling this morning. Most people couldn’t even make it up the subway stairs at 33rd street. Everyone is moving in slow motion. I swear I almost had to pick the guy up in front of me and carry him up the stairs. You know people are struggling when the line at Starbucks is 3 times as long as it normally is. I went to get an Iced Latte in hopes it would jolt me, but the line was ridiculous. At least 50 people long. Fuck that. I went and got Naked instead.

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Yes…with “a pound of fruit in every bottle” who needs coffee? With heart healthy omega-3’s and over 1,000 mg of potassium i’m rejuvenated and ready to roll. It also contains 570 mg of something called Red Algae in it. Actually on the side of the bottle they refer to it as “red sea algae”.

I did some research and lo and behold “Red algae is marketed to treat candida, herpes simplex virus and other chronic ailments”. It’s also the same algae that helps make the Red Sea red. Huh. Who knew.

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Is this a worker from Naked collecting red sea algae?

But I’m glad that by drinking the stuff I’ll be reducing my risks of genital herpes and yeast infections. Cause lord knows there’s nothing worse than a yeast infection. Can’t have that bitter beer taste in your mouth.

Ok…wait…so that came out completely wrong. I was trying to make a joke about beer and the yeast in it and how if you drink bad beer you could get a “yeast infection”. But y’all are gonna think I was talking about performing oral on a girl that has a yeast infection and that would give you a bitter taste in your mouth.

Ok…on that note…I think I’m gonna lay low for a while. I’ll be back once everyone is done throwing up all over their keyboard.

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Comments»

1. candice - June 20, 2007

oh god!!! ewwwww……gross. thanks alot…don’t feel like eating my breakfast now!

2. roger - June 20, 2007

hahahaha…i don’t even know what else to say.

3. ethan - June 20, 2007

Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!

4. nincompoop - June 20, 2007

umm….yeah. great. thanks. asshole.

5. mr. blogger - June 20, 2007

ha…nice….i agree…bitter beer taste sucks! 😉

6. elyse - June 20, 2007

But y’all are gonna think I was talking about performing oral on a girl that has a yeast infection and that would give you a bitter taste in your mouth.

YES, that’s exactly what i thought you were talking about!!! sooooo gross!!! 🙂

7. bob - June 20, 2007

I’ll be back once everyone is done throwing up all over their keyboard.

Too late…already done.

8. ned - June 20, 2007

Red algae is marketed to treat candida, herpes simplex virus and other chronic ailments

hah…didn’t know that either…won’t look at Naked Juice quite the same way again!

9. gary - June 20, 2007

i think Naked a few times a week…i’ve noticed i’m relatively herpes free these days….now i know why!!!!

10. gary - June 20, 2007

sorry…should have said i drink Naked…but i also think Naked a few times a week too 😉

11. bubba - June 20, 2007

i think i’ll pass on drinking anything with Algae in it…

12. mr. x - June 20, 2007

Like, that writing was kind of big, maybe he’s a BIG Cock. Or maybe he should change his name to Mr. Blank A Doodle Doo. But nothing.

A little “private parts” reference i assume???

13. howie - June 20, 2007

thanks mr.x….i knew that sounded familiar!

14. trent - June 20, 2007

you know…not to gross anyone out even further but that happened to me once…not a pleasant feeling

15. barry - June 20, 2007

um…trent…i hope you’re not talking about giving oral to a girl with a yeast infection?

16. dan - June 20, 2007

thanks for sharing trent…much appreciated 😉

17. melissa - June 20, 2007

ok…can we get off this topic now…please! 🙂 getting yucky!

18. victor - June 20, 2007

glad to see you’re out of your rut humor wise!

19. timothy - June 20, 2007

i went out and got some Naked today….actually pretty good…got the blueberry one. $4 though…kinda pricey no?

20. brent - June 20, 2007

i like naked juices…they’re pretty tasty. i guess it’s around the same price as getting a smoothie.

21. nelson - June 20, 2007

should Naked juice sponsor the Naked Cowboy in Times Square? Just a thought!

22. xander - June 20, 2007

you wrote that kinda sloppy…maybe you have a sloppy pussy!

ah, private parts…great movie…

23. redrover - June 20, 2007

wait so that guy had an etching on his car that said “Mr. Cock”?

What a dick! haha 😉

24. ann - October 9, 2007

Freedom is more important than security

25. samsung - October 18, 2007

I just don’t have much to say recently. Maybe tomorrow. Pfft. Whatever. Today was a loss.


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