jump to navigation

Lady…it wouldn’t kill ya… May 24, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in American Idol, asshole of the day, common sense, critique, current events, dancing, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, opinion, pedestrian behavior, racquetball, random references, sarcasm, stupidity, subways.
trackback

So last night I got on the uptown 4 train at Bowling Green and at Wall St. this rather “weighty” (to say it politely) lady sat next to me. She sat down with a bag of McDonalds on her lap and starting eating. At this point I was starving having just played racquetball for almost 2 hours so the smell of fries and burgers was making my stomach grumble. She opens the bag and I peer in. She had like 4 quarter pounders with cheese and an overflowing portion of fries. I tried not to stare as she devoured fries and burgers.

Anyway, at 14th street, a very skinny and sickly looking homeless man came onto the train looking for some change or food. I actually had no bills smaller than $20 lest I would have given him some change. The lady, seeing that the man was approaching, stuffed a hunk of burger in her mouth and rolled up her bag of McDonald’s. Not sure if the guy saw her or not but as he politely asked her if she could spare some change or food, she shook her head no as she tried to chew her food slowly. The guy stared at her for a few seconds and then walked away.

I mean really…lady…it wouldn’t kill you to spare one of the burgers in your bag. Unless you were bringing it home for your family…which it appeared that you weren’t, I think you could’ve done without an extra cheeseburger. I mean I’m sure the 2,000 calories you already downed with the burgers and fries didn’t come close to filling you up. But if you ever even complained about being fat…well…now you know why.

I looked at her in disbelief and disgust. A guy across from me looked at me and shook his head and we smiled. Cause he was thinking the same thing I was. You fucking fat ass…spare a fucking cheeseburger… (at least I think that’s what he was thinking – it was what I was thinking). Anyway, its a good thing I had my “inner voice” working lest I would have created a messy situation. And that wouldn’t have been good.

Anyway, been stuck in a land of work today so many apologies for the late blog. That and I’m heading to Nashville tomorrow for a work event. Maybe I’ll run into my girl Gretchen and she can show me a rootin tootin good time down there! Although I’ll need to download some country onto my iPod to get me caught up on the latest country hits. And I may have to have Bridget give me some quick line dancing lessons. I wouldn’t want to be the only one not doing the “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” at the bar!


“Oh get down, turn around go to town boot scootin’ boogie”

Anyway…sorry for the short and sweet post for now…I’ll try to give y’all something good before we hit the holiday weekend!

Oh and btw…about American Idol…TOLD YOU SO! America loves a crier!

Advertisements

Comments»

1. roger - May 24, 2007

ha…i love fat people like that…selfishly hoarding all the food to themselves!

2. gary - May 24, 2007

jeez…two straight days of country music references…is this a new york blog or not??? haha…

you might be a redneck if…

3. bubba - May 24, 2007

oh god…not the boot scoot boogie!!! ugh…gives us “rednecks” i bad name!

4. elyse - May 24, 2007

I LOVE the BOOT SCOOTIN BOOGIE!!!!! Love Brooks & Dunn!!!!

5. dan - May 24, 2007

yeeeeeeeee…..haaaawwwwww

6. nelson - May 24, 2007

you were right about American Idol…it was a good show though did you watch? They had like every celebrity under the sun there.

7. ace - May 24, 2007

God…forgot about that song….what’s a worse dance? That or Cotton Eye Joe?

8. mr. blogger - May 24, 2007

The Achy Breaky Heart dance had them all beat! Ah…good ole line dancing…isn’t there a place up in connecticut that has line dancing?

9. whatpushesmybuttons - May 24, 2007

Nelson: yeah…it appeared to be a big celebrity love fest…i didn’t watch the whole thing though…i had laundry to do!

mr. blogger: are you referring to the Cadillac Ranch off route 84?

10. Thos - May 24, 2007

so it seems more and more people are becoming dissatisfied with American idle and apparently there are a lot of celebrities there last night does this mean it may have Jumped the Shark?

http://www.jumptheshark.com

is a great site

11. mr. blogger - May 24, 2007

that’s right the cadillac ranch….good stuff

12. ethan - May 24, 2007

yankees suck! yankees suck!

13. bob - May 24, 2007

damn yanks…we needed the sweep

14. lauriekendrick - May 24, 2007

The fat broad with the burgers?? What a bitch!

Funny stuff, as always!

Blog me,. baby! Hard…
LK
lauriekendrick.com


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: