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Tap That Ass! May 2, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in baseball, basketball, bathroom humor, celebrities, funny, hockey, humor, new york city, opinion, sex, sports, yankees.

So as discussed on this blog before, I run into some interesting characters on my way to the subway in the am through the EHP (East Harlem Projects). This am was no different as I passed by a group of young men and women (probably in their early 20’s) hanging out outside one of the public schools on 102nd and 2nd. As I’m walking past I hear one of the male youths tell the group:

“Yo, yo, check this. Last night I bent that bitch over and pow – I tapped that ass”. The young man made a slapping motion with his hand to emphasize his point.

The group started laughing and hollering and I turned my head towards them as I walked by and laughed. The guy who was telling the animated story then says:

“Yo – even the white dude knows what I’m talking about. Kapow”. Followed by more laughs. I just shook my head and laughed and kept walking as he kept telling the rest of the story.  (For the record I ain’t know nothin’ bout no ass tappin!)

I guess its just one of those things where it’s funnier when you hear it first hand, but nonetheless I got a nice laugh out of it. Unfortunately its been about the only thing I could laugh about today since it looks like a tornado hit my desk this morning. That and I have a small novel to work through in the way of an 18 page RFP from one of our prospective advertisers. Seriously, 18 pages for a request for proposal! It’s not like we’re talking about bidding for the Olympics here! (although only those in the media/advertising space will understand what I’m talking about).

Anyway I’m disappointed no Vinny Goombats sightings at the Rangers game last night. Although my “friend” was probably too busy banging Jason Kidd’s ex-wife while the team was in Toronto last night. Actually I’m gonna go out on a limb and almost guarantee that’s where he was last night. Scumbag.

On a happier note, I’m glad the Yankees decided to score some runs for a change last night. Although it figures that Hughes pulls his hamstring in the 7th in the middle of a no-hitter. I have a feeling its gonna be that kind of season for the Yanks pitching staff. So Mr. Torre, Mr. Cashman – if you’re reading – I’m a lefty. I can hit high 70s on the radar gun. And I throw strikes. No movement. Just straight “fat” pitches smack down the middle. I mean if Chase Wright can be a major leaguer, why can’t I!



1. roger - May 2, 2007

haha…nice…gotta love the “utes” of today…so animated!

2. dean - May 2, 2007


3. mr. blogger - May 2, 2007

sure he wasn’t talking about tapping a keg? 😉

4. eddie - May 2, 2007

who submits an 18 page RFP? that’s craziness right there.

5. julie - May 2, 2007

sorry…i’m not in advertising – what’s an RFP?

6. neil - May 2, 2007

A Request for Proposal – meaning that if you wanted to place some advertising (in magazines for example) and you wanted to see what magazines are going to offer you in the way of rates and discounts, you’d send out a RFP and use that to evaluate how you want to place your advertising. If that makes any sense at all.

7. candice - May 2, 2007

Wow….um…yeah. i don’t think my ass has ever been “tapped”! 😉

8. ethan - May 2, 2007

Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!

9. roger - May 2, 2007

umm..yeah, nice job by “Papelboner” last night blowing a save…did he go home and cry to his mommy afterwards???

10. julie - May 2, 2007

thanks neil…i think i got it now! 🙂

11. trent - May 2, 2007

I’ll tap your ass candice! hey – oh

12. candice - May 2, 2007

you wish trent! 😉

13. trevor - May 2, 2007

dude…if you were pitching it would be back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back homeruns! although maybe you’d get lucky and get Pedroia or mirabelli out! hah.

14. drew - May 2, 2007

“O – O – you know what i’m talking about – O face for sure!”

15. Mr. X - May 2, 2007

hahahaha drew – awesome reference!

16. elyse - May 2, 2007

what’s that from? sounds soo familiar

17. napoleon - May 2, 2007

gosh…its only from office space…like the best movie ever. gosh elyse…you’re such an idiot.


18. janet - May 2, 2007

hahaha…nice…two great movie references in a row!

19. uncle rico - May 2, 2007

you see those mountains over there? i’ll throw a football clear over them.

20. whatpushesmybuttons - May 3, 2007

Neil: Great description – couldn’t have said it better myself!

Drew: Nice Office Space reference – bone roller coaster for sure!

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