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Bitterly Disappointing April 23, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in asshole of the day, baseball, common sense, critique, eating, food, funny, humor, new york city, nostaglia, opinion, random references.
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Well the weather wasn’t disappointing this weekend. That’s for damn sure. The Yankees were extremely disappointing this weekend. But that’s to be expected since Joe Torre over-manages each game to the fullest. Plus it’s not like the Red Sox haven’t faced Mariano Rivera 1,000 times in the past 10 years. No surprises there. I don’t care if he’s the best closer ever. When you face a team a gazillion times they are gonna know you like a book. But I’ve said my piece about that to whoever would listen to me over the weekend.

But the most bitterly disappointing moment this weekend came at the hands of one of my beloved childhood memories, the WWF Superstars of Wrestling Ice Cream Bar (or WWE Superstars of Wrestling Ice Cream Bar as it’s now called).

Firstly, you know how passionate I am about Good Humor based on my post just a few weeks back on how Good Humor should sponsor Good Friday. Knowing that Mr. Softee now reigns supreme in the Big Apple, we were extremely shocked that we saw a Good Humor truck on Sunday outside Carl Shultz Park on the UES. And frankly we were a little disappointed since we were hunting for a Mr. Softee truck so Bridget could get a shake. But who can be disappointed when the Good Humor truck is around?! I was especially thrilled since I haven’t seen one in a long time. Bridget, Avi and Lauren probably could’ve cared less, but nonetheless shared in my excitement over getting any ice cream on a warm April day.

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Searching for Mr. Softee, we came across the rare NYC Good Humor truck

The choices of course were endless. The Strawberry Shortcake, the Chipwich, the Chocolate Éclair…all of the favorite Good Humor Ice Cream’s from day’s yore. Lauren opted for one of the frozen flavored pops (lime flavored). Avi went with the classic King Kone. Bridget opted for a Chocolate Éclair and a Chipwich (to share with me of course). But I my friends hit paydirt. Lo and behold, a WWF Ice Cream Sandwich bar!! Holy fucking shit. They still make them. And they’re only $2 to boot! Just a 50 cent markup from 20 years ago! Unreal! How many products can you say where just 50 cents more expensive than 20 years ago???

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The ice cream bar, unlike its predecessors, came in a cardboard box rather than a plastic wrapper

As Hulk Hogan was on the cover of the sample bar on the front of the box, I figured I may get a Hogan imprint on the cookie side of the bar (the bar is a sandwich of chocolate, ice cream and cookie dough for those not in the know). Although a picture of John Cena (the current WWE champ) was pictured on the box so I thought maybe I’d get him. Even though I longed for one of the classics, like an Andre the Giant, I was willing to settle for a John Cena or Rey Mysterio bar.

I ripped open the box like a 5 year old rips opens a Christmas present. I see the chocolate side first and then turn the bar over. And the wrestler is…………………

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Blank? Blank???? The bar is fucking blank!!!!

Are you fucking kidding me??? I felt immediately let down and rejected. That’s probably the most disappointed I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I put my head down in shame and shuffled my feet. I was practically inconsolable. Tears welled in my eyes (ok, maybe not that far, but if I was alone they may have!). I can’t believe it. All that excitement. The buildup. The nostalgia. And the bar is fucking blank.

So a big fuck you to the WWE. No wonder why your product sucks and no one watches you anymore! Bastards. Way to ruin a 29 year olds day. And not to mention the HUGE false advertising on their behalf!! Why put a picture of an imprint of a bar on the outside of your packaging and then have a blank inside? That’s like Oreo basically giving you a picture of an Oreo imprint cookie on the outside of the packaging and then when you take a cookie out you get a smooth, plain, no imprint chocolate shell on the outside. What fun would that be? You think people would enjoy Oreos if the chocolate wasn’t imprinted with the brand name? Definitely not. Cause then you’d be eating a generic chocolate cookie with cream filling. That’s essentially what this was. A generic ice cream bar. I mean are times at the WWE that bad that they can’t afford to imprint their wrestlers on a cookie?? Unreal.

I think I was more disappointed about the stupid ice cream bar then about the Yankees losing. I expected the Yanks to lose. I didn’t expect to get a blank ice cream bar. Major disappointment!

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Comments»

1. roger - April 23, 2007

dude…that sucks!

2. candice - April 23, 2007

aww….poor baby 🙂

3. dean - April 23, 2007

so disappointing…good analogy with the oreos. i feel your pain brother

4. mr. blogger - April 23, 2007

i smell a good humor boycott??? hah

5. janet - April 23, 2007

you should have thrown a temper tantrum like a 5 year old! haha

6. gary - April 23, 2007

that’s a punch in the stomach right there!

7. trent - April 23, 2007

that’s disappointing! almost as disappointing as eyeing a hot girl all at the bar all night only to find out she’s a he. not saying that’s ever happened to me before or anything

8. bethany - April 23, 2007

hahaha…trent…that’s funny. NOW THat’s disappointing. Although seems like more poor judgement than disappointment 😉

9. ethan - April 23, 2007

YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK!

10. whatpushesmybuttons - April 23, 2007

trent: dude….extremely poor judgement.

ethan: as do you.

11. bob - April 23, 2007

i would have thrown the ice cream at the truck!

12. moral blogger - April 23, 2007

what’s with all the swearing on this blog??? can’t you voice your opinion without resolving to curse words?

13. howie - April 23, 2007

asshole….asshole….haha

14. trent - April 23, 2007

who the fuck is cursing? no one’s fucking cursing!

15. whatpushesmybuttons - April 23, 2007

Dear Moral Blogger,

You are sofa king we todd id.

btw boo to snl a few weeks back…using the “Sofa King” commercial. That joke has been used and abused my friends. Still to the digital shorts!

16. roger - April 23, 2007

for fuck’s sake can’t we all just get along!

17. mr. x - April 23, 2007

if you look closely you can see the virgin mary on the blank ice cream bar!

18. dean - April 23, 2007

what??? no…no way.

19. roger - April 23, 2007

haha…hysterical! dean – i think he meant it as a joke!

20. tommy - April 23, 2007

OMG it is the virgin mary…hope you didn’t eat the ice cream bar? it could be a sign from up above!

21. lizzie - April 23, 2007

oh yeah…did you even EAT the ice cream? or were you too disgusted??? 😉

22. whatpushesmybuttons - April 23, 2007

Lizzie: of course i ate the ice cream! please…wasn’t letting that go to waste even if each bite tasted of bitter disappointment!

mr. x: mary had a little lamb…..BUT I ATE IT!

23. candice - April 23, 2007

hahahaha

24. janet - April 23, 2007

if your blog is so “righteous” what’s your blog then moral blogger?

25. Thos - April 23, 2007

Very impressive, hopefully the Chipwich made up for it. Chipwich is the greatest ice cream ever.

In one week the Thos will go back to White Castle!!!!

Chris is your apartment in one piece after the back to back to back to back JACKS!!!!

Craziest thing I ever saw.

26. whatpushesmybuttons - April 23, 2007

I’d agree Chipwich is up there…they also had a Goya flavored ice cream…i was afraid to ask. maybe it was rice & bean flavored? a little arroz con leche perhaps?

27. thos - April 24, 2007

Did they have a Malta flavored ice cream?

28. macho man - June 14, 2007

maybe next time you should snap into a slim jim!

ooooohhhh yeahhh…

DIG IT!

29. adam - September 19, 2007

Just be thankful you got the tasty ice cream bar, i’ve been looking for these things for six months in michigan and can’t find a damn one

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32. Philthy - April 9, 2008

I heard the company is going to start making TNA ice cream bars. Half of them will be exciting, but others will just be leftover WWE Ice Cream bars no one really likes any more.

33. Mike - April 26, 2008

Dude, I just got one last year, I had Randy Orton on mine.. i think you just got one from a bad batch.

34. paul - June 26, 2008

Wow man what a rip off… I just ate one with triple h printed on the side….

35. goodwork nde - February 9, 2009
36. qUETHT - May 5, 2009

U stupid fucking Faggot. GROW UP. Still buying ice cream popsicles like you’re 10 again, and then acting like a stupid whiny faggot that your generation is after finding no wrestler on your bar. Maybe at age 29 it’s time to stop playing Nintendo and buying Ninja Turtle apparel and Power Gloves. This is why your generation is the BIGGEST JOKE of a generation EVER. FUCK YOUR PUSSY GENERATION. Grow up already and stop Facebooking and Myspace-ing and going to Coachella raves like you’re still 17. Fucking Faggot.

37. Peyronie's Disease Treatment - January 20, 2010

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39. Sybil Stallings - May 30, 2010

If I had a penny for every time I came here… Great writing!


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