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Sauget DOES NOT = Heaven March 28, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, eating, food, lunch, new york city, racquetball.

Figures.  On a night where I wanted an easy match I get a tough one.  I knew it was gonna be tough because I couldn’t loosen up.  No matter how I stretched my shoulder was still tight.  It affected my backhand tremendously.  That and the guy I played was in his mid 20s and quick as hell.  So any passing shot I hit he got.  Any ceiling shot I hit to move him backwards he was fast enough to get back for.  I really felt my age last night, which was kind of disappointing.  I know I haven’t played in a long time so I’m still rusty.  But you know that feeling when you know you’re better than someone but you lose anyway?  I guess maybe Al Gore knows how I feel.  Da-dum-dum.  Hey-oh!

Ok. So I have a confession to make.  Apparently I was wrong.  Sauget, IL does not equal Heaven as I previously stated.  In fact it looks like it’s the exact opposite based on this statement.

“This is Sauget, Illinois. I mean that literally. Aside from a small knot of trailers and small houses just south of here, this is the entire town. East St. Louis’s neighbor to the south is nothing more than a refinery that spews pollutants at the city’s inhabitants day and night and gives them zero tax revenue in return. ”


Ouch, so I guess I should adjust my statement then.  I mean Sauget does have its good qualities.  Apparently they are all for free enterprise. And they are very pro business.  But I’m going to adjust my statement nonetheless.

Heaven =  The Gateway Grizzlies

That’s more appropriate given that
a) the team’s owner/marketing department invented the burger not the town
b) Gateway can be identified as the gateway to heaven.

So my apologies to the residents of Sauget, IL. Didn’t mean to anoint you “holy status”! Sainthood has been reserved for the Gateway Grizzlies.

In other news, I went out to take a walk during the 70 degree day we had yesterday and I went to one of my favorite lunch spots (no, not the strip club or the bar) Madison Square Park.  Being that I used to work one block away from the park (and now work 8 blocks away) I took the leisurely stroll and grabbed a Roast Beef & Muenster sandwich from my old eating haunt 80 Deli.  I went over to the park and as you could imagine the benches were jammed with people.  So I sat on the outskirts of the park on 26th between Madison and 5th.

I sat in the middle of this row of 5 benches and the guy at the end was sitting smoking a cigar.  I looked more closely to what I thought was a pet sitting next to him.  It was a squirrel.  Sitting on the bench. No more than one foot away from him.  And the man was hand feeding the squirrel.  I’ve seen people feed squirrels before but never one that’s sitting next to you on a bench.

The squirrel took his morsel and ran away.  Minutes later the squirrel hops back on the bench and checks the man again. He’s out of food so what does the squirrel do but hop on over to me.  He sits next to me and looks up at me.  I talk to him (because you know squirrels speak too) and say Hey Buddy, you want some food?  What happened next was crazy.  The squirrel hopped off the bench and sat in front of me.  He got on his hind legs and lifted his two front paws in the air begging for food!  Insane.  I’ve never seen a squirrel actually beg for food before.  They must be taking clues off the dogs in the park.

I went to grab my camera phone but that spooked him off.  So I took out a piece of Smartfood Popcorn I was eating (the White Cheddar flavor is good stuff) and held it out.  He came scurrying over and sat in front of me.  I tossed him the piece and he took it and sat against the tree nibbling away. 

A friendly, begging squirrel enjoying some Smartfood White Cheddar popcorn I fed him

The bastard pigeons must have saw this and came swooping down around the bench.  And you wonder why I want my hunting license!  After successfully shooing the pigeons away another squirrel came over. I fed him said popcorn but alas he wasn’t a fan.

Anyway, that was crazy.  I can’t believe a squirrel begged for food in front of me.  Good for the squirrels, they’ve come a long way.  Perhaps I’ll need to get one as a pet!



1. bethany - March 28, 2007

Thank you for the correction! I told you it wasn’t Heaven!

2. mr. blogger - March 28, 2007

Man, what a shithole!

3. gary - March 28, 2007

if that’s heaven, send me to hell!

4. candice - March 28, 2007

That’s crazy! A squirrel actually begged you? They are started to get worse than the homeless! 😉

5. dean - March 28, 2007

we’re all just squirrels in this world trying to bust a nut….i mean get a nut 😉

6. whatpushesmybuttons - March 29, 2007

Bethany: you’re welcome! I realize the error of my ways!

Candice: yeah, shit you not…squirrel begged on his hind legs and everything…crazy.

Dean: nice…Hi Five!

7. citizens of sauget - March 29, 2007

how dare you look down upon our beloved city of smokestacks and pollutants! we contribute more to global warming than any other city in america! so take that!

8. Not half bad! « What Pushes My Buttons - April 26, 2007

[…] I took a walk for lunch to Madison Square Park (those will remember that my last time in the park I ran into a begging squirrel). On my way to the park I stopped at Subway (largely thanks to the $1.99 6” sub coupons I have at […]

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