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It sucks to blow March 26, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in bathroom humor, common sense, critique, funny, humor, shower, top blog candidate, weird.
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Not in the way you’re thinking. Sometimes it sucks to blow your nose. As in when your nose is really dry and then because of that dryness, after you blow your nose it starts bleeding profusely. Not that this has happened to me oh in the last 15 minutes or anything.

Anyway, now that I’ve stopped doing my best Gerry Cooney impersonation, and continuing on this theme of “disgustingness”, I got an email from one of my friends this morning (his name will remain anonymous for the sake of everyone involved and for the sake of his own safety). But those of us who know him know he’s very crude in his description of things…much more crude than even me! (hard to believe, i know). Anyway he’s given us some doozy stories over the years, but I don’t think anything tops this mornings email we got from him. It left me shaking my head. Had it come from someone else it would be hard to believe, but coming from him, nothing shocks me anymore. So read the following at your own accord.

WARNING: THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. EXTREMELY SICK SCENE COMING AHEAD. Remember, I didn’t say it so don’t hold it against me!

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“Last week, I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico for training. While out there, I was showering and had to take a shit. Now, most people would wait to get out of the shower and then shit, which I have done many times. The only problem with that is the fact that my ass would not be clean. So, I decided to shit in the shower. Anyone try that before? I’ve heard about it before and never tried it, especially in my shower. But, I figured I was in NM and figured, what the fuck? So here I am, standing and shitting, in the shower. I was a bit excited to do this and try it. For you who have thought about doing this before but never tried it, here are my thoughts. While standing and shitting, it took a bit to come out as I was not on the bowl. After it came out, I felt good. Until the smell hit. Fuck, did it stink. Showering is supposed to be this beautiful cleansing time without any issues, but the smell was almost unbearable. In a toilet, the smell is contained in the bowl. In a shower, the smell is contained in the shower. Anyways, I squished the shit down the drain with my toes, which afterwards, had to be properly cleaned. So, needless to say, I would not recommend shitting in the shower. I should have waited til I was done showering to shit in the bowl. The only saving grace about shitting in the shower was that my ass was clean after shitting!”

Oh man. Could you imagine finding this in your email inbox first thing on a Monday morning? I won’t even attempt to analyze what he said.

Once I get my appetite back I’m going to grab lunch. Although next time I shower I may not help but laugh. And then be totally disgusted. And then laugh 🙂

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Comments»

1. roger - March 26, 2007

dude…fuckin gross! man do you have some screwed up friends

2. luke - March 26, 2007

not even gonna comment

3. anonymous - March 26, 2007

that warning should have been bigger. good thing i ate breakfast already.

4. candice - March 26, 2007

“Anyways, I squished the shit down the drain with my toes”

hahaha…hysterical!

5. ace - March 26, 2007

whoever told that story is full of shit!!!

6. mr. blogger - March 26, 2007

“shit” like this is what makes this blog so funny…glad other people are starting to agree!

7. Daniel - March 27, 2007

Who does this sort of thing??? Your friend must seriously be one f*cked up kid!

8. bethany - March 27, 2007

very disturbing

9. dean - March 27, 2007

how appropriate is that image given the context of the posting!!!

10. roger - March 29, 2007

thank god this dropped out of the top posts in the top right…wouldn’t want people to get scared off reading your blog! i’ve read this about 10 times already and it gets more disgusting each time. If that’s possible.

11. howard - April 3, 2007

that’s just horrendous!

12. janet - April 3, 2007

ewww…..soooo gross!

13. Audrey - April 5, 2007

Ewwwwwwww…..that is all I have to say….

14. gary - April 5, 2007

ummm….yeah.

15. heather - April 6, 2007

why in god’s green earth would someone even think about trying this????

16. daniel - April 10, 2007

holy crap…i think i just threw up in my mouth

17. shayna - April 11, 2007

OMG…that’s soooo nasty!!!

18. deadbouncer - April 20, 2007

Hahahahahahahahaha…..I don’t know whether to laugh or puke…maybe both at the same time?

The Dead Bouncer

http://deadbouncer.wordpress.com/

19. Anonymous - June 26, 2007

WEwcHnovfuiCsjIQZ

20. Anonymous - July 12, 2007

Quote:

“I was a bit excited to do this and try it.”

Need I say more?

21. Anonymous - November 9, 2007

IbRuZAXyKWncokUYfe4g


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