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For the Dogs February 14, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in animals, dogs.
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So like all of you animal lovers out there I’m sure your eyes were glued to the Westminster Kennel Club 2007 Dog Show last night on USA. With all of the Grammy and Oscar hype, the dog show gets lost in the mix a bit. Although I think its sometimes just as good of a show and some of the dogs are a lot better actors and singers too!. Would you rather hear a spaniel bark or Shakira sing? Case rested.

For those who haven’t been paying attention, last night an English Springer Spaniel named James won Best in Show. And I was excited because James appears to be a normal dog and is not one of those “fashion poodles” that look like Billy Ray Cyrus with a bad mullet.

Two such poodles were in the best in show ring last night and i’m happy to report neither won! Thank god. There’s nothing worse than a primped out dog scampering around the show ring saying “look at me, i’m pretty”. I mean it takes hours each day just to groom these poodles. Poodles were made to retrieve waterfowl, not primp in the mirror for hours a day. But whatever floats your boat I guess.

Anyway I was pleased and shocked to see that on Monday during the group finals, my sister’s dog made it into the non-sporting group! Well not her actual dog, but his breed, the good ole American Eskimo. Although I can definitely vouch my sister’s dog Max is a non-sporting dog. He neither retrieves nor fetches. He is very active though, and a lot better looking than those stupid poodles.

But glad to see Eskimos are finally getting their due!

Anyway, happy Valentines Day everyone. A special shout out to my sister Abe who is celebrating her 21st today. And a big shoutout to “my significant other” Bridget on our 4 year anniversary!

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Grammy Observations February 12, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, critique, funny, humor, music, opinion, pictures, random references, television, top blog candidate, world news.
10 comments

So I watched the Grammy awards last night for the first time in eons. Pretty entertaining as most of the program is dedicated to actual music being played rather than 2 hour long acceptance speeches. Anyway, it was still a long program, but here are some of my observations:

Shakira is a terrible singer. I know, she’s hot. And the girl can dance. But seriously she sounded terrible on the Grammys. I know she has a “distinctive” (i.e. Nasal) tone but without the help of a recording studio it sounded terrible. Maybe she should stick with belly dancing. If it wasn’t for Wyclef I probably would’ve hit the mute button.

Smokey Robinson got some work done. I mean he’s 125 years old and he looks more plastic than Ken (of Barbie fame). Now we know why his new album is called Timeless Love. Maybe he’s been hanging out with Kenny Rogers too much. Hard to see from this picture but just trust me on this, he didn’t look good. His eyebrows were definitely lifted something fierce.

The Dixie Chicks get on my nerves. I said it. Kudos to them I guess for winning 20 Grammys but I think that was all part of a political “we hate Bush” voting scheme drummed up by the academy. I mean everyone wants him out of the White House right…who’s his biggest enemy?? You guessed it – The Dixie Chicks. I smell conspirarcy. You’re gonna tell me their record and album and song was better/more popular than JTs “Sexy Back” or Chili Peppers “Dani California”. I think not.

Gnarls Barkley has a great voice. But did he have to come dressed like Murdock (Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s character) from Airplane? Didn’t get the whole pilot look. Anyway Bridget made the observation of the night when she said Barkley looks like Slimer from Ghostbusters. I think you’d agree! (Click for a larger image and tell me what the difference is!). Did anyone check to see if he was drinking Ecto Cooler last night???

Best vocals of the night are a tie between Mary J. Blige and Christina Aguliera. Both of them belted out heart felt renditions. Both sounded great as well. Well done ladies.

John Mayer is very talented, but he needs to cut his hair. Him and Jessica Simpson are turning into freaks. Literally. Watching Mayer perform during the Grammys and seeing some of his facial reactions, he started to remind me of Edward Sissorhands.

That’s a few of the comments I had so far. Enjoy your Monday. I’m Ron Burgundy?

Bears Revenge February 9, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, nintendo, sports.
3 comments

So after the Bears dropped to the Colts in the Suuuuper Bowl, I figured I’d give Tecmo Bowl another shot to see if i can go through the season undefeated and without giving up a single point. (See the December 30th post to view the last time I tried this. Last time week 5 I was scored on, and gave up 26 total points on the season).
A daunting task I know, but I was extra amped for it considering I was going to help the Bears take revenge. Also I wanted to face the Colts in the Tecmo Bowl, to see who the real winner of the game should have been. Without further adieu, here’s the results:

Week 1: vs Miami.

Miami broke the scoreless streak against the Bears in week 5 last attempt so there was plenty of revenge on the Bears minds. Sparked by that memory, Dennis Gentry returns the opening kickoff 82 years for a TD (who needs Devin Hester). That set the tone for the entire game as the Bears Defense swarmed Dan Marino and Lorenzo Hampton. Mike Singletary had 10 Interceptions. Yes, 10 interceptions in one game! Two of which were returned for TDs (25 and 18 yards). In fact Singletary had more INT return yards than Marino had passing yards. Jim McMahon was on fire all game connecting on 7 TDs, 6 of them going to fast Willie Gault who had TDs of 65, 14, 32, 45, 25 and 23 yards. Ron Morris caught the other TD pass (14) and Walter Peyton added 3 TD runs (1, 1, 13).

The result was a Tecmo Bowl record for myself 91 points!!! The final score: 91-0. My goal is still to try to hit the 100 mark vs. the computer. Hopefully one of these days I’ll pull it off. But here’s the proof of the 91 spot for those non believers/haters:

Week 2: vs San Francisco

Fresh off the record setting points win the Bears looked to avoid a letdown vs the 49ers. Montana was game, but the Bears defense led by Singletarys 7 INTs shut down the Montana to Rice connection. Roger Craig had 12 carries for -3 yards as the 49ers went nowhere all game. Offensively Jim McMahon continued his gunslinging ways, although he was intercepted once by Ronnie Lott. Willie Gault was once again the star hauling in 6 TDs (21, 18, 10, 23, 23 and a 38 yarder as time expired). Cap Boso hauled in 2 TDs (8, 4), Ron Morris added a 4 yard TD grab on 4th and goal and Walter Peyton punched in a 3 yard TD run as well. Final score: Bears 70-0.

Week 3: vs. NY Giants

The Giants are next up with their strong D led by the real L.T., Leonard Marshall and friends. The Bears priority was shutting down Joe Morris and they did, with Morris rushing 15 times for -7 yards. Phil Simms did no better as he was intercepted 8 times by Mike Singletary. The McMahon to Gault connection was once again lethal, combining for 7 TDs (23, 32, 18, 23, 14, 22, 27). Boso (1) and Morris (15) added TD grabs while Peyton rushed for a TD (3) and caught a TD (4). The Giants did manage to block one extra point, to keep the final score a “respectable” 76-0.

Week 4: vs Cleveland

The Browns put up 7 points on the Bears last go around in the Divisional Playoff Game (week 9). This time the Bears get the Browns earlier in the season which spelled trouble for Kosar and company. Dennis Gentry returned the opening kickoff for a TD, his second of the season. Kevin Mack was the main focus of the Bears D, and he was stuffed on the ground. However Mack did manage to break into Bears territory a few times on screen passes from Kosar, however Singletary shut the door on those drives, totaling 5 INTs on the game. Gault had a “quiet” game catching 4 TDs (48, 20, 12, 23) while Boso (3) and Morris (9) added a TD a piece. Peyton punched in a TD (2) and took a McMahon screen pass 38 yards for a TD. Final score, Bears 63-0.

Week 5: vs. Washington

Week 5 was the week the Bears’ shutout string was broken last time around by the Dolphins. Doug Williams, Timmy Smith and the crew don’t have the offensive firepower like the Dolphins but the D led by Dexter Manley and Darrell Green is more formidable. The Redskins D slowed down the Bears offense, and Manley picked off a McMahon pass, his 2nd INT of the season. The Redskins even blocked a 58 yard FG attempt by Matt Butler, his first attempt of the season. McMahon however was able to connect on 3 TD passes to Gault (24, 13, 11) but the game belonged to Walter Peyton who bullied his way in for 5 rushing TDs (2, 24, 3, 4, 10). The Bears put together a few long drives after forcing the Redskins to punt often. Timmy Smith had 10 carries for -4 yards as the Bears rolled, 56-0.

Week 6: vs Seattle

Week 6 brings the Seahawks as the Bears look to keep the shutout streak alive. Seattle’s offense is led by Dave Kreig and Kurt Warner (RB). The Bears focus their attention on stopping Warner and they deliver, holding him to 15 carries for -5 yards. Singletary gobbles up 7 Kreig passes for INTs as he blanketed Steve Largent all game. Gault catches 5 TDs from McMahon (35, 13, 21, 11, 33) while Morris adds 2 TDs (1, 13). Peyton punches in 2 TDs from 2 and 10 yards as the Bears roll again, 63-0.

Week 7: vs LA Raiders

Last time around, the Bears faced the Raiders in the Tecmo Bowl and the Raiders gave them fits scoring 13 points and holding the Bears to 45. The Bears remember that game well and switch their game plan a bit to focus the Defense on the secondary led by Dave Duerson, leaving Singletary to focus on Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen. Gentry nearly returns his 3rd opening kickoff for a TD, getting tripped up at the Raiders 4, leading to a 4 yard Peyton TD rush. Bo Jackson gets hammered all game, as the Raiders tried to pound Bo up the middle to no avail. Bo’s total: 16 carries for -14 yards. Ouch. Marcus Allen meanwhile only carries the ball once, a 3 yard gain. With Bo shut down, Duerson went to work in the secondary picking off 8 of Jay Schroeder’s passes. Duerson had one key interception while the Raiders were driving deep into Bears territory to keep the shutout streak alive. That INT was followed by a Walter Peyton 54 yard scamper, setting up a Peyton 3 yard TD run. Peyton later added another 3 yard TD run his third of the game. McMahon was efficient in the air, tossing 5 TDs to Gault (16, 5, 14, 10 and a 32 yarder as time expired). Morris caught a TD (10) and Peyton took a screen pass 12 yards for a TD as the final score was Bears 70-0.

Week 8: Denver Broncos

With the Raiders out of the way, the Bears needed to stay sharp as Elway and the three amigos were next on the list. Gentry was up to his old tricks again, this time returning the opening kickoff 70 yards for a TD, his 3rd of the season. However, Denver’s offense was certainly potent enough to break the scoreless streak and they nearly did, driving into Bears territory several times during the game. However Singletary was up to the task as he intercepted Elway 3 times during the game, twice in Bears territory. The Bears shut down Elway and the offense the rest of the game, forcing 5 Broncos punts. Tony Dorsett went nowhere either as he had 20 carries for -14 yards. The Bears were forced to put together long drives all game, as McMahon was forced to check down over the middle due to blanket coverage on Willie Gault. McMahon was frustrated into throwing an INT on the goalline by Rulon Jones stopping one Bears drive. However McMahon was able to hit Gault (1) and Morris (3) for short TD passes and McMahon notched his 1st rushing TD of the season on a 1 yard QB sneak. Peyton added two short TD runs (1, 2) as the Bears won 42-0.

Week 9: vs Minnesota

The Bears are two games away from acheiving their perfect season without giving up a point. The Minnesota offense isn’t the most potent, led by Anthony Carter (WR) and Darren Nelson (RB). Tommy Kramer (QB) was effective but not as deadly as Elway. Carter however was a dangerous return man. The Vikings D was tough all game, led by Chris Doleman. They shut down Gault, forcing the Bears to concentrate on short passes and the ground game. McMahon hits Boso (9) and Morris (10) for TD passes while Peyton has a good game on the ground connecting on 4 TD runs (17, 2, 6, 1). McMahon even runs for a 4 yard TD. The Bears contain the Vikings all game with Singletary notching 4 INTs. However it was a missed INT by Singletary in the 4th Quarter that set up a long completion from Kramer to his TE Jordan putting the Vikings deep in Bears territory. The Bears focus on Nelson, but he’s able to bust through the line and break two tackles en route to a 25 yard TD scamper, ending the Bears scoreless streak at 27 Quarters. The Bears block the extra point in frustration. The Bears respond with a TD of their own but Anthony Carter nearly returns the ensuing kickoff the distance. A Kevin Butler shoe string tackle saves the TD, stopping Carter on the Bears 30. The Bears D stiffens and forces a 4 and out to save any further points from being scored. The Bears tack on a 53 yard FG from Butler as time expires to notch a 52-6 victory.

TECMO BOWL: vs. Indianapolis

Well, look what matchup we have here. Bears vs. Colts. A chance for revenge for the Superbowl XLI loss. The Bears were fired up thanks to their scoreless streak ending. But they weren’t about to take the Colts lightly. Gentry ignited the team returning the opening kickoff 75 yards for a TD, his 4th of the season. McMahon was patient all game although he was intercepted once by Jon Hand. McMahon tossed TD passes to Boso (2), Morris (19) and a pair to Gault (12, 13). Peyton found room to run en route to 3 TD rushes (20, 2, 7). Singletary and the D put the breaks on Eric Dickerson, holding him to 22 carries for -11 yards. Singletary picked off three Trudeau passes as the Bears forced the Colts to punt 7 times. The Bears ended a Colts drive late in the 4th Quarter and the McMahon to Gault 13 yarder with 3 seconds left but the Bears up 49-0. It appeared that would do it as the Colts kick returner Albert Bentley was not the most premier kick returner. The Bears were celebrating on the sideline as Bentley marched upfield, somehow breaking three tackles and eluding a tackle from Butler. Bentley broke two more tackles and to the horror of the Bears fans and special teams coach was able to avoid getting tackled at the 10 to take the kickoff 103 yards for a TD as time expired! Unreal. The Bears had only given up 6 points until the last second of the game until a miracle type return by the Colts made the final score 49-7. The Bears were excited to get revenge on the Colts but certainly steaming mad about the ending and vow revenge on the Colts next season.

On the season, the Bears outscore their opponents 698-13. That’s a 25 point improvement over last year, while giving up 13 less points. Pretty good, but again, a few tackles away from going through the season with a shutout.

However we’ll leave it up to you guys to vote on the Bears MVP for the season. Is it:

Mike Singletary
58 INTs (10 in one game)
2 INTs for TD.

Dennis Gentry
4 opening kickoff returns for a TD

Jim McMahon
65 TDS
5 INTs
2 TD runs

Willie Gault
45 TD Receptions

Walter Peyton
27 TD rushes
3 TD receptions

Dave Duerson
8 INTs in one game

Vote now by posting your comments to this article!

Text to Speech February 8, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in funny, humor.
1 comment so far

So got this link forwarded to me the other day. Pretty cool. It’s a text to speech converter.

The link to the site is here:
http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/frameset.php?frame1=talk

Basically you type in any text you want, hit “Say It” and the voice on the screen will respond with your saying.

It’s available in many languages, including: English (both american and british accents), Chinese, Dutch, Swedish, Spanish, French, etc.

It’s good for some mild amusement, especially if you want to type in “Dirty Words” – not that i’d ever do such a thing.

Enjoy!

"Sioux Per Bowl Party" February 7, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, humor.
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So my annual Sooper Bowl party came and went and a good time was had by all. The wings were flying, the burgers frying and cupcakes all around! And I’m happy to report I wasn’t in violation of NFL rules since I:

A) Didn’t show the game on a screen larger than 44″ (my measley tv is only 27″)

B) Didn’t charge my guests at the door to make profit off the event. (although by conducting a “pool” of boxes I probably violated some NFL laws.)

Confused by why I’m mentioning this? Well perhaps you didn’t see the news regarding the NFL and Churches.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007702010431

There was a big story last week in which a few churches were promoting “Souper Bowl” parties at their churches on a big screen. Apparently the NFL Nazi police saw a promotion for the party and threw a hissy fit (I guess they want people to watch in their OWN households to drive ratings up, rather than having 50 people watch on one tv.) The NFL rules prohibit such gatherings that promote the event without the prior blessing of the NFL, even within houses of worship. Cause you know the NFL is more powerful than GOD.

NFL PARTY RULES

For groups that want to host Super Bowl parties — other than sports bars and businesses that normally show televised sports — here are rules the NFL says must be followed:

• No admission fees (even to pay for snacks).

• Only one television (55 inches or smaller).

• No use of the words “Super Bowl” in promotional materials.

• No exhibition of the game in connection with events “that promote a message.”

So luckily I was in the clear with my annual party. Although Bridget wrote Super Bowl XLI on the cake so I guess she’s in clear violation of NFL rules. Let me call the commissioner now and plead for her mercy. If they want to confiscate the rest of the cake they can, although we’ll just smear the icing so they’ll have no proof it was written!

From now on I’m refering to it as the Sioux Per Bowl party…although I’m sure Sioux Indians will take offense to that. So I’ll go with Soup Per Bowl…although I’m sure Cambells and Progresso will sue me for illegal use of Soup in a promotion. So I guess I’m on to Repus Lwob party….although then I’m sure the Dyslexia Society of America will sue me for taking their name. So how bout I call it “My annual party in which my friends gather around a television set no larger than 55″ to eat my famous wings, drink their favorite beverages and watch a 4 hour set of non amusing commercials and a contest between two teams from certain cities that play a sport involving a oblong pigskin with laces”. I think that works, right NFL?