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Artisenal Sandwiches January 5, 2007

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in critique, eating, food.
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Is it just me or are more and more sandwiches these days “artisenal”? I mean even your shit hole little deli has got some sort of fancy bread or ingredient mixture that looks like a French restaurant menu just threw up all over it.

I mean all I wanted today was Roast Beef. Good ole Beast…rare-medium rare, preferably Boars Head. And perhaps some tomatoes and cheese and either mayo or horseradish mayo to spice it up a bit. Just slap it on a roll and i’m good to go. But what does the deli have? “Rare Roast Beef” served on a semi toasted 7 herd induced Foccaccia bread with thinly sliced candy glazed caramelized onions, shards of some lettuce i’ve never heard of, some kind of heirloom tomato and a mayo chutney of some sorts. I mean really…how fuckin ridiculous has this gotten? I mean I know Cosi, Au Bon Pain and others make their livings off “Artisenal” type sandwiches with their fancy breads and hard to pronounce ingredients. But really, does you Average Joe deli need to get in on the fun as well?

Being I wanted roast beef I tried this special conconction. It had flavor, the bread was soft, the roast beef rare, but i nearly choked on the strings of onions. It was like a 12″ string of carmelized onion. How am I supposed to eat this normally – especially on a sandwich? Poor sandwich construction right there ruined the experience. And since the bread has flavor thanks to the concoction of whatever herds were embedded in there, the mayo doesn’t need spicing up too.

So my word of advice to the little guys. Stick to what you know. The basic cold cuts: Roast Beef, Turkey, Ham, Bologne, Cheese. Rolls and bagels, not foccaccia and organic wheat germ breads. Mayo, mustard not some mango chutney mayo or some chilean spice infused mustard that has hints of jalapeno, habanero and cumin rubbed chilis. You’ll be doing all of us and yourselves a favor. Thank you.

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