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Sidewalk Landmines November 29, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in bathroom humor, common sense, critique, opinion.
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So my normal morning walk to the subway consists of dodging various sidewalk landmines, mostly consisting of piles of shit (dog – not human. although you never know in the ghetto!). Today was exceptionally bad for whatever reason as there was (as this is no exagerration) at least 10 piles strategically placed on the sidewalk. Its a good thing I was at least half awake so i was able to nimbly navigate my way through without incident. Although it looks like some others weren’t as fortunate.

This got me thinking, isn’t there supposed to be a fine for not curbing your dog? Or does that only count in “nice neighborhoods?”. If that happened on lets say York and 75th, you’d have an uproar and lawsuits would be filed and persecuters would be hung. I’ve definitely heard of people getting fined for not curbing their dog in some places. So why not us? Obviously cops avoid the ghettos like the plague, but wouldn’t it make sense once in a while to have someone on guard dishing out tickets? What’s the fine these days for that offense? $25? $50? Well whatever it is, you’d have 10 times that number on mornings like today.

So instead of those “officers” who go around checking meters and registrations, how bout you put them on shit duty (no pun intended) once in a while. If you catch 10 people per morning on just one block alone, well that’s at least $250 for the city right there. Have a few people roaming the streets and you’re looking at an easy grand for the city each day. Do that 5 days a week for an entire year and you’re looking at over $250,000 for the city in revenue. Not a ton but not bad right? Plus the streets would be a hell of a lot cleaner. So if anyone from the D.O.T. or the NYPD is reading, let’s start cracking on this….thanks!

Field & Stream’s Funniest "Home" Videos November 28, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, video.
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So in browsing through our website today I found some video i’d never seen before. Maybe you haven’t either, so in that case enjoy!

The Buck Who Fought Back!

Now This is Some Easy Fishing!

Some Boxing Bucks

That Squirrel is Dynamite!

High Jumping Shark

Kramer Tirade November 22, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in humor, pictures, video.
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Everyone may have heard, but some, including me, haven’t seen the Kramer tirade from the other night. Someone caught it on their cellphone:

Holy crap! He was doing ok until he started using the N-Word. That did him in.

Anyway, here’s Kramer’s heartfelt apology. Love Seinfield jumping in to defend him. Kramer looks absolutely devasted over it. Poor guy. Everyone flips out on stage once in a while. I’m glad Letterman wasn’t a dick and throw him under the bus.

It reminds me when were at Dangerfield’s a year ago when people walked out on a comic who responded hatefully to being heckled. It’s not an easy thing for the comic nor the audience. It really is a thankless business. Heckling is fun, but people do push the limits cause they feel it’s their right. Not saying the comic is wrong for responding with racist remarks, but sometimes when you’re in the spotlight and someone is taking shots at you from a distance your tendancy is to respond with hateful words. And it’s sad. Just a no-win situation for everyone.

Anyway, on that note hopefully everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving. Enjoy with some images of turkey being taken down. Courtesy of OutdoorLife 😉

Is it just me? November 22, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in food, funny, humor, photos.

Or does this seem like a terrible waste of milk?

I mean really. There’s starving people in Africa…and East Harlem…who would love to have a glass of milk right about now and these two are just pouring it out like it was being handed out free on the street corner. Ridiculous. Well since this is a family, wholesome blog, let’s concentrate more on the traditional milk image:

That’s the proper way to use milk. Innocent. Paired with cookies. Not paired with thongs and whores!

Anyway maybe I’m just bitter because I was really craving some milk and cookies tonight but alas my milk went bad and my cookies are stale. Damn spoiled milk.
Anyway, guess I’ll just have to wait for getting some cannoli’s at Veniero’s tomorrow. Yum.

Ok I’ll stop drooling over the computer now. Until next time…enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend and eat plenty of Turdunkin!

White Castle for Thanksgiving? November 21, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, humor, video, white castle.

So Krystal, for those who don’t know, is very similar to White Castle. Anyone who knows me knows I love me some Castle. My record is 30 burgers in one sitting. I’ve been known to knock back a dozen before you can blink an eye. Anyway, I guess I have some competition out there. Joey Chestnut, the top competitive eater in the U.S., is the record holder at the Krystal eating competition. He ate 28 burgers in 2 minutes. Pretty sick. He’s also the one who ate 52 hot dogs at Nathan’s this year, only 2 dogs short of Kobayashi. Here’s Joey in action:

Nasty stuff. He’s a hero to us all. If I had only known this was a competitive sport years ago, I’d probably reign supreme!

Anyway, as you sit down at the table this Thanksgiving, think of shoveling mashed potatoes or stuffing into your mouth as fast as you can and think of all the Joey Chestnut’s of the world who do this for a living and aspire to be them. For if America is the fattest country on the planet, we might as well be the fattest and fastest eaters! It’s time to take Kobayashi down! USA! USA!

Kiss My Bass November 20, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in eating, food, photos.
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That’s right…go ahead and kiss it. Caught this nice 400 lb bass Sunday am off Montauk…ok maybe not 400lb, but felt like it trying to reel it in. But it was about 27-28 inches and gave us enough food for lunch and plenty to sock away in my freezer! Actually we brought some to Wok N Roll out in Montauk where their motto is you hook em’ we cook em! Sweet. Had some fresh bass in sesame sauce – delicious, and some fresh bass in ginger/scallion sauce. Equally as good. But anyway here’s some pics of my prize catch (which btw was the only keeper of the day – we caught plenty of blue fish but we threw em back).

Celebrity Look-A-Likes November 18, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in celebrities, humor, photos.
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So came across this today…you have to go to MyHeritage.com and sign up, but it’s pretty cool…a Celebrity look alike imager that takes your face and matches it to celebrity look a likes. You have to register to MyHeritage (free), but then again what’s registration to another site? Here’s my results:

Not one to be satisfied…I reran with a new picture. Much better celeb results! 🙂

What is this, UNO? November 17, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in coffee, critique, humor.
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Firstly I apologize for the poor blog layout in the past month. Apparently Blogger switched over to Google and took some time to getting all the bugs out. But now it’s looking good…thank you Google for making the world a better place!

Anyway, so now that the gingerbread latte is back at Starbucks (i swear they put nicotine in these things they’re so addicting!) I’ve been temporarily lifting my boycott at Starbucks. Gingerbread and the Cinnamon Dolce latte are the best drinks they have…although at $5 per Venti (large) you’ll go broke in a day. Anyway, the last few times I’ve ordered, I wait patiently at “the bar” for the coffee and everytime without fail, 10 other people get their coffee before I do. I mean, some are easy than others…but this woman today who wasn’t even on line when i was…at least 10 people back, got her Gingerbread Latte before I did. The guy handed it to her, knowing full well i was waiting for the same…she was like oh i’m sorry, you were here first. Out of kindness I let her take it…and had to wait 4 more coffees before mine came along with a half hearted apology. I mean, this is at least the 4th time in a row that’s happened to me…luckily i haven’t pulled a Michael Douglas in Falling Down yet.

Anyway, I know I’m not a busty blond with my tits hanging out, nor a curvy latina with tight asshugging jeans, but dammit I pay $5 for a fuckin coffee, the least you can do is serve it to me before 20 other people get theirs. It’s unreal. I mean I wait my turn, stand aside, smile, say good morning to people, and I still get screwed. Doesn’t matter who’s serving me…guy or girl. It’s like they say, let’s make this poor schmuck wait and sweat it out a bit. Like I’m playing Uno and I keep getting skip. Or someone hits the Reverse before my turn. I mean the only reason I’m drinking your fuckin coffee anyway is it works better than Ex-Lax. Seriously. Try it sometime. Unless maybe that’s why mine take so long…they could be tainting it. Hmm…Fast Food Nation the movie is coming out soon…let the consipiracy theories begin!

Pics from Aruba November 10, 2006

Posted by whatpushesmybuttons in pictures, travel.

It’s been quite hectic with the impending sale of my company…so that unfortunately has eaten into my blogging time. However in the meantime enjoy these lovely pictures I took from Aruba…

Balashi. The Arubian Beer. It’s awesome. Aruba has some of the best drinking water in the world…and you can tell based on how good the beer tastes. If only they imported it!

Various pics of the sunsetting…awesome stuff.

Finally pictures of a sunny day on the beach. It’s ridiculous how nice it is there year round: